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the days of my life-第90章

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As to your question — it is not an easy one。 By scientific experience I have myself bee absolutely convinced of persistence of existence; and I regard death as an important episode — the reverse of birth — but neither of these episodes really initial or final。 One is the assumption of connection with matter; the other is the abandoning of that connection。
If it be further asked whether after we have abandoned matter we can; by indirect means; occasionally continue to act upon it — on the matter of the inorganic world or the matter of our friends’ brains; for instance — I am inclined to answer; though now more doubtfully; that in my judgment the evidence points to the existence of some indistinct and undeveloped power of this sort。
The simplest and best developed variety of this continued interaction with matter is on the side of telepathy。
This is experimentally found existent between the living; and I have reason to believe that this is the one mode of munication which survives the transition; and that under favourable conditions we can still influence and be influenced by the process of events and emotions here 。 。 。 。
This is forting; so far as it goes; and of course extremely interesting。 But; after all; we have here only the experience and the deductions of one man who; brilliant and utterly upright as he is known to be; may still be mistaken like the rest of us。 The manifestations exist — many can bear witness to them。 But whence do they e? That is the question。 May not some Power be mocking us that; directly or indirectly; draws its strength from our vital forces and has its roots in our own intelligence; exalted in an access of spiritual intoxication? Yet if so; this does not explain the “Bob” incident when I was seeking for nothing; and had gone to sleep tired out with my usual day’s work。 Why; in such circumstances; should this dog have materialised itself in my slumbering brain and at the moment of its death; or rather; as I firmly believe; several hours after that event? Therein lies a hint of great marvels。
Years afterwards another dream about an animal came to me which I embodied in the story called “The Mahatma and the Hare;” a little book that; up to the present; has no great public vogue。 Largely this is because so many of the papers neglected it as though it were something improper。 Their reason was; I think; that they feared to give offence to that great section of their readers who; directly or indirectly; are interested in sport; by extended notices of a parable which doubtless in its essence amounts to an attack upon our habit of killing other creatures for amusement。 I hope; however; that its day may e; though perhaps not yet。
As I am touching on mystical subjects; probably for the last time; I will instance here a series of imaginings which developed themselves in my mind at intervals over a period of several months early in the present year。 I noted them down at the time and; except for an addendum to No。 4; give them without alteration; as I think it best not to interfere with the original words; on which; perhaps unconsciously; I might attempt to improve。 Indeed it would be easy to make a story out of each of these mind…pictures。 At the head of them I have stated the alternative explanations which occur to me。 Personally I favour — indeed I might almost say that I accept — the last。
Only then the question will arise as to whether it is possible for us to imagine anything that has not; somewhere in this great universe whereof we only know the fringe; an actual counterpart; perhaps very distorted; of some unseen truth? However far we throw out our mental hands; can they close on anything which is not in its essence a fact; or the reflection of a fact? Are we not walled in by facts; and is it within our scope to travel one inch beyond that wall? But the thing is very subtle; and I am by no means certain that I make my meaning clear。 Moreover; it could be argued in a dozen ways; and as these dream…pictures are merely given as a curiosity in which I have no personal faith; it is not worth while to waste time in discussing them。 Here they are:
During the past few months there have e to me; generally between sleeping and waking; or so it seemed; certain pictures。 These pictures; it would appear; might be attributed to either of the three following causes:
(1) Memories of some central incident that occurred in a previous incarnation。
(2) Racial memories of events that had happened to forefathers。
(3) Subconscious imagination and invention。
Probably the last of these alternatives is the one which most people would accept; since it must be remembered that there is nothing in any one of these tableaux vivants which I could not have imagined — say as an incident of a romance。
Now; before I forget them; I will describe the pictures as well as I can。
1。 A kind of bay in a thicket formed of such woods as are mon in England today; especially hazel; as they would appear towards the end of June; in full leaf but still very green。 A stream somewhere near。 At back; in a tall bank; something like the Bath Hills;29 the mouth of a cavern。 About thirty feet from this a rough hut made of poles meeting on a central ridge (I have forgotten how it was thatched)。 In front of the hut a fire burning; and an idea of something being cooked by a skin…clad woman; I standing by; a youngish man; tall; children playing round; and notably a boy of about ten standing on the hither side of the fire; his nakedness half covered by the pelt of some animal; his skin; as he lifts his arms; very white。 A general sense of something about to happen。
28 Above the river Waveney。 — Ed。
2。 A round hut; surrounded by a fence; standing on a grassy knoll; no trees about。 A black woman moving within the fence and; I think; some children; myself there also; as a black man。 An alarm below; which causes me to take a spear and run out。 A fight with attackers; attackers driven off; but I receive a spear…thrust right through the middle below the breast; and stagger up the slope mortally wounded back into the enclosure round the hut; where I fall into the arms of the woman and die。
3。 A great palace built in the Egyptian style。 Myself; a man of about thirty; in quaint and beautiful robes wound rather tightly round the body; walking at night up and down some half…enclosed and splendid chamber through which the air flows freely。 A beautiful young woman with violet eyes creeps into the place like one who is afraid of being seen; creeps up to me; who start at seeing her and appear to indicate that she should go。 Thereon the woman draws herself up and; instead of going; throws herself straight into the man’s arms。
4。 An idea of boundless snows and great cold。 Then the interior of a timber…built hall; say forty feet or more in length; a table by a doorway and on it three or four large dark…coloured trout; such as might e from a big lake。 Wooden vessels about; brightly painted。 A fire burning in the centre of the hall; with no chimney。 On the farther side of the fire a bench; and on the bench a young woman of not more than two — or three…and…twenty; apparently the same woman as she of the Egyptian picture; or very like her; with the identical large violet eyes; although rather taller。 She is clothed in a tight…fitting grey dress; quite plain and without ornament; made of some rough frieze and showing the outline of the figure beneath。 The hair is fair; but I cannot remember exactly how it was arranged。 The woman is evidently in great grief。 She sits; her elbow resting on her knee; her chin in her hand; and stares hopelessly into the fire。 Presently something attracts her attention; for she looks towards the door by the table; which opens and admits through it a tall man; who; I know; is myself; wearing armour; for I catch the sheen of it in the firelight。 The woman springs from the bench; runs round the fire; apparently screaming; and throws herself on to the breast of the man。
The general impression left is that she had believed him to be dead when he; probably her husband; appeared alive and well。
(Some months later I was favoured with an impression of another scene set in the same surroundings。 In this picture postscript; if I may call it so; the identical man and woman; now persons of early middle age; were standing together in bitter sorrow over the doubled…up and fully…dressed body of a beautiful lad of about eighteen years of age。 Although I saw no wet upon his clothes I think that he had been drowned。)
5。 The mouth of a tunnel or mine…adit running into a bare hillside strewn with rocks and debris。 Standing outside the tunnel a short; little woman of about twenty…five; with black hair; brown eyes; and brownish but not black skin; lightly clad in some nondescript kind of garment。 Resting on her; his arms about her shoulders; an elderly man; very thin and short; with a sad; finely…cut face and sparse grizzled beard; wearing a dingy loin…cloth。 The man’s right foot covered with blood; and so badly crushed that one of the bones projects from the instep。 The woman weeping。 By his side on the ground a kind of basket filled with lumps of ore; designed to be carried on the back and fitted with two flat loops of hide; with a breast…strap connec
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