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'It is a highly encouraging circumstance in Edward's illness; I am
thankful to think; and gives one the greatest confidence in his sense
not being impaired; or his proper spirit weakened……down to the time
of poor dear papa's death at all events……that he paid off Mrs General
instantly; and sent her out of the house。 I applaud him for it。 I could
forgive him a great deal for doing; with such promptitude; so exactly
what I would have done myself!'
Mrs Sparkler was in the full glow of her gratification; when a double
knock was heard at the door。 A very odd knock。 Low; as if to avoid
making a noise and attracting attention。 Long; as if the person knocking
were preoccupied in mind; and forgot to leave off。
'Halloa!' said Mr Sparkler。 'Who's this?'
'Not Amy and Edward without notice and without a carriage!' said Mrs
Sparkler。 'Look out。'
The room was dark; but the street was lighter; because of its lamps。 Mr
Sparkler's head peeping over the balcony looked so very bulky and heavy
that it seemed on the point of overbalancing him and flattening the
unknown below。
'It's one fellow;' said Mr Sparkler。 'I can't see who……stop though!' On
this second thought he went out into the balcony again and had another
look。 He came back as the door was opened; and announced that he
believed he had identified 'his governor's tile。' He was not mistaken;
for his governor; with his tile in his hand; was introduced immediately
afterwards。
'Candles!' said Mrs Sparkler; with a word of excuse for the darkness。
'It's light enough for me;' said Mr Merdle。
When the candles were brought in; Mr Merdle was discovered standing
behind the door; picking his lips。 'I thought I'd give you a call;' he
said。 'I am rather particularly occupied just now; and; as I happened to
be out for a stroll; I thought I'd give you a call。'
As he was in dinner dress; Fanny asked him where he had been dining?
'Well;' said Mr Merdle; 'I haven't been dining anywhere; particularly。'
'Of course you have dined?' said Fanny。
'Why……no; I haven't exactly dined;' said Mr Merdle。
He had passed his hand over his yellow forehead and considered; as if he
were not sure about it。 Something to eat was proposed。 'No; thank you;'
said Mr Merdle; 'I don't feel inclined for it。 I was to have dined out
along with Mrs Merdle。 But as I didn't feel inclined for dinner; I let
Mrs Merdle go by herself just as we were getting into the carriage; and
thought I'd take a stroll instead。'
Would he have tea or coffee? 'No; thank you;' said Mr Merdle。 'I looked
in at the Club; and got a bottle of wine。'
At this period of his visit; Mr Merdle took the chair which Edmund
Sparkler had offered him; and which he had hitherto been pushing slowly
about before him; like a dull man with a pair of skates on for the first
time; who could not make up his mind to start。 He now put his hat upon
another chair beside him; and; looking down into it as if it were some
twenty feet deep; said again: 'You see I thought I'd give you a call。'
'Flattering to us;' said Fanny; 'for you are not a calling man。'
'No……no;' returned Mr Merdle; who was by this time taking himself into
custody under both coat…sleeves。 'No; I am not a calling man。'
'You have too much to do for that;' said Fanny。 'Having so much to do;
Mr Merdle; loss of appetite is a serious thing with you; and you must
have it seen to。 You must not be ill。' 'Oh! I am very well;' replied Mr
Merdle; after deliberating about it。 'I am as well as I usually am。 I am
well enough。 I am as well as I want to be。'
The master…mind of the age; true to its characteristic of being at all
times a mind that had as little as possible to say for itself and great
difficulty in saying it; became mute again。 Mrs Sparkler began to wonder
how long the master…mind meant to stay。
'I was speaking of poor papa when you came in; sir。'
'Aye! Quite a coincidence;' said Mr Merdle。
Fanny did not see that; but felt it incumbent on her to continue
talking。 'I was saying;' she pursued; 'that my brother's illness has
occasioned a delay in examining and arranging papa's property。'
'Yes;' said Mr Merdle; 'yes。 There has been a delay。'
'Not that it is of consequence;' said Fanny。
'Not;' assented Mr Merdle; after having examined the cornice of all
that part of the room which was within his range: 'not that it is of any
consequence。'
'My only anxiety is;' said Fanny; 'that Mrs General should not get
anything。'
'She won't get anything;' said Mr Merdle。
Fanny was delighted to hear him express the opinion。 Mr Merdle; after
taking another gaze into the depths of his hat as if he thought he saw
something at the bottom; rubbed his hair and slowly appended to his last
remark the confirmatory words; 'Oh dear no。 No。 Not she。 Not likely。'
As the topic seemed exhausted; and Mr Merdle too; Fanny inquired if he
were going to take up Mrs Merdle and the carriage in his way home?
'No;' he answered; 'I shall go by the shortest way; and leave Mrs Merdle
to……' here he looked all over the palms of both his hands as if he were
telling his own fortune……'to take care of herself。 I dare say she'll
manage to do it。'
'Probably;' said Fanny。
There was then a long silence; during which; Mrs Sparkler; lying back
on her sofa again; shut her eyes and raised her eyebrows in her former
retirement from mundane affairs。
'But; however;' said Mr Merdle; 'I am equally detaining you and myself。
I thought I'd give you a call; you know。'
'Charmed; I am sure;' said Fanny。
'So I am off;' added Mr Merdle; getting up。 'Could you lend me a
penknife?'
It was an odd thing; Fanny smilingly observed; for her who could seldom
prevail upon herself even to write a letter; to lend to a man of such
vast business as Mr Merdle。 'Isn't it?' Mr Merdle acquiesced; 'but
I want one; and I know you have got several little wedding keepsakes
about; with scissors and tweezers and such things in them。 You shall
have it back to…morrow。'
'Edmund;' said Mrs Sparkler; 'open (now; very carefully; I beg and
beseech; for you are so very awkward) the mother of pearl box on my
little table there; and give Mr Merdle the mother of pearl penknife。'
'Thank you;' said Mr Merdle; 'but if you have got one with a darker
handle; I think I should prefer one with a darker handle。'
'Tortoise…shell?'
'Thank you;' said Mr Merdle; 'yes。 I think I should prefer
tortoise…shell。'
Edmund accordingly received instructions to open the tortoise…shell box;
and give Mr Merdle the tortoise…shell knife。 On his doing so; his wife
said to the master…spirit graciously:
'I will forgive you; if you ink it。'
'I'll undertake not to ink it;' said Mr Merdle。
The illustrious visitor then put out his coat…cuff; and for a moment
entombed Mrs Sparkler's hand: wrist; bracelet; and all。 Where his own
hand had shrunk to; was not made manifest; but it was as remote from Mrs
Sparkler's sense of touch as if he had been a highly meritorious Chelsea
Veteran or Greenwich Pensioner。
Thoroughly convinced; as he went out of the room; that it was the
longest day that ever did e to an end at last; and that there never
was a woman; not wholly devoid of personal attractions; so worn out by
idiotic and lumpish people; Fanny passed into the balcony for a breath
of air。 Waters of vexation filled her eyes; and they had the effect of
making the famous Mr Merdle; in going down the street; appear to leap;
and waltz; and gyrate; as if he were possessed of several Devils。
CHAPTER 25。 The Chief Butler Resigns the Seals of Office
The dinner…party was at the great Physician's。 Bar was there; and in
full force。 Ferdinand Barnacle was there; and in his most engaging
state。 Few ways of life were hidden from Physician; and he was oftener
in its darkest places than even Bishop。 There were brilliant ladies
about London who perfectly doted on him; my dear; as the most charming
creature and the most delightful person; who would have been shocked to
find themselves so close to him if they could have known on what sights
those thoughtful eyes of his had rested within an hour or two; and near
to whose beds; and under what roofs; his posed figure had stood。 But
Physician was a posed man; who performed neither on his own trumpet;
nor on the trumpets of other people。 Many wonderful things did he see
and hear; and much irreconcilable moral contradiction did he pass his
life among; yet his equality of passion was no more disturbed than
the Divine Master's of all healing was。 He went; like the rain;
among the just and unjust; doing all the good he could; and neither
proclaiming it in the synagogues nor at the corner of streets。
As no man of large experience of humanity; however quietly carried
it may be; can fail to be invested with an interest peculiar to the
possession of such knowledge; Physician was an attractive man。 Even the
daintier gentlemen and ladies who had no idea of his secret; and
who would have been startled out of more wits than they had; by the
monstrous impropriety of his proposing to them 'e and see what I
see!' confessed his attraction。 Where he was; something real was。 And
half a grain of reality; like the smallest portion of