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'My sex disqualifies me；' she proceeded with merely a slight turn of
her eyes in jeremiah's direction； 'from taking a responsible part in
the business； even if I had the ability； and therefore Mr Flintwinch
bines my interest with his own； and conducts it。 It is not what it
used to be； but some of our old friends （principally the writers of this
letter） have the kindness not to forget us； and we retain the power
of doing what they entrust to us as efficiently as we ever did。 This
however is not interesting to you。 You are English； sir？'
'Faith； madam； no； I am neither born nor bred in England。 In effect； I
am of no country；' said Mr Blandois； stretching out his leg and smiting
it： 'I descend from half…a…dozen countries。'
'You have been much about the world？'
'It is true。 By Heaven； madam； I have been here and there and
everywhere！'
'You have no ties； probably。 Are not married？'
'Madam；' said Mr Blandois； with an ugly fall of his eyebrows； 'I adore
your sex； but I am not married……never was。'
Mistress Affery； who stood at the table near him； pouring out the tea；
happened in her dreamy state to look at him as he said these words； and
to fancy that she caught an expression in his eyes which attracted her
own eyes so that she could not get them away。 The effect of this fancy
was to keep her staring at him with the tea…pot in her hand； not only to
her own great uneasiness； but manifestly to his； too； and； through them
both； to Mrs Clennam's and Mr Flintwinch's。 Thus a few ghostly moments
supervened； when they were all confusedly staring without knowing why。
'Affery；' her mistress was the first to say； 'what is the matter with
you？'
'I don't know；' said Mistress Affery； with her disengaged left hand
extended towards the visitor。 'It ain't me。 It's him！'
'What does this good woman mean？' cried Mr Blandois； turning white； hot；
and slowly rising with a look of such deadly wrath that it contrasted
surprisingly with the slight force of his words。 'How is it possible to
understand this good creature？'
'It's NOT possible；' said Mr Flintwinch； screwing himself rapidly
in that direction。 'She don't know what she means。 She's an idiot； a
wanderer in her mind。 She shall have a dose； she shall have such a dose！
Get along with you； my woman；' he added in her ear； 'get along with you；
while you know you're Affery； and before you're shaken to yeast。'
Mistress Affery； sensible of the danger in which her identity stood；
relinquished the tea…pot as her husband seized it； put her apron over
her head； and in a twinkling vanished。 The visitor gradually broke into
a smile； and sat down again。
'You'll excuse her； Mr Blandois；' said Jeremiah； pouring out the tea
himself； 'she's failing and breaking up； that's what she's about。 Do you
take sugar； sir？'
'Thank you； no tea for me。……Pardon my observing it； but that's a very
remarkable watch！'
The tea…table was drawn up near the sofa； with a small interval between
it and Mrs Clennam's own particular table。 Mr Blandois in his gallantry
had risen to hand that lady her tea （her dish of toast was already
there）； and it was in placing the cup conveniently within her reach that
the watch； lying before her as it always did； attracted his attention。
Mrs Clennam looked suddenly up at him。
'May I be permitted？ Thank you。 A fine old…fashioned watch；' he said；
taking it in his hand。 'Heavy for use； but massive and genuine。 I have
a partiality for everything genuine。 Such as I am； I am genuine myself。
Hah！ A gentleman's watch with two cases in the old fashion。 May I remove
it from the outer case？ Thank you。 Aye？ An old silk watch…lining； worked
with beads！ I have often seen these among old Dutch people and Belgians。
Quaint things！'
'They are old…fashioned； too；' said Mrs Clennam。 'Very。 But this is not
so old as the watch； I think？'
'I think not。'
'Extraordinary how they used to plicate these cyphers！' remarked Mr
Blandois； glancing up with his own smile again。 'Now is this D。 N。 F。？
It might be almost anything。'
'Those are the letters。'
Mr Flintwinch； who had been observantly pausing all this time with a cup
of tea in his hand； and his mouth open ready to swallow the contents；
began to do so： always entirely filling his mouth before he emptied it
at a gulp； and always deliberating again before he refilled it。
'D。 N。 F。 was some tender； lovely； fascinating fair…creature； I make no
doubt；' observed Mr Blandois； as he snapped on the case again。 'I adore
her memory on the assumption。 Unfortunately for my peace of mind；
I adore but too readily。 It may be a vice； it may be a virtue； but
adoration of female beauty and merit constitutes three parts of my
character； madam。'
Mr Flintwinch had by this time poured himself out another cup of tea；
which he was swallowing in gulps as before； with his eyes directed to
the invalid。
'You may be heart…free here； sir；' she returned to Mr Blandois。 'Those
letters are not intended； I believe； for the initials of any name。'
'Of a motto； perhaps；' said Mr Blandois； casually。
'Of a sentence。 They have always stood； I believe； for Do Not Forget！'
'And naturally；' said Mr Blandois； replacing the watch and stepping
backward to his former chair； 'you do not forget。'
Mr Flintwinch； finishing his tea； not only took a longer gulp than he
had taken yet； but made his succeeding pause under new circumstances：
that is to say； with his head thrown back and his cup held still at his
lips； while his eyes were still directed at the invalid。 She had that
force of face； and that concentrated air of collecting her firmness or
obstinacy； which represented in her case what would have been gesture
and action in another； as she replied with her deliberate strength of
speech： 'No； sir； I do not forget。 To lead a life as monotonous as mine
has been during many years； is not the way to forget。 To lead a life of
self…correction is not the way to forget。 To be sensible of having （as
we all have； every one of us； all the children of Adam！） offences
to expiate and peace to make； does not justify the desire to forget。
Therefore I have long dismissed it； and I neither forget nor wish to
forget。'
Mr Flintwinch； who had latterly been shaking the sediment at the bottom
of his tea…cup； round and round； here gulped it down； and putting the
cup in the tea…tray； as done with； turned his eyes upon Mr Blandois as
if to ask him what he thought of that？
'All expressed； madam；' said Mr Blandois； with his smoothest bow and his
white hand on his breast； 'by the word 〃naturally；〃 which I am proud
to have had sufficient apprehension and appreciation （but without
appreciation I could not be Blandois） to employ。'
'Pardon me； sir；' she returned； 'if I doubt the likelihood of a
gentleman of pleasure； and change； and politeness； accustomed to court
and to be courted……'
'Oh madam！ By Heaven！'
'……If I doubt the likelihood of such a character quite prehending
what belongs to mine in my circumstances。 Not to obtrude doctrine upon
you；' she looked at the rigid pile of hard pale books before her； '（for
you go your own way； and the consequences are on your own head）； I will
say this much： that I shape my course by pilots； strictly by proved and
tried pilots； under whom I cannot be shipwrecked……can not be……and that
if I were unmindful of the admonition conveyed in those three letters； I
should not be half as chastened as I am。'
It was curious how she seized the occasion to argue with some invisible
opponent。 Perhaps with her own better sense； always turning upon herself
and her own deception。
'If I forgot my ignorances in my life of health and freedom； I might
plain of the life to which I am now condemned。 I never do； I never
have done。 If I forgot that this scene； the Earth； is expressly meant to
be a scene of gloom； and hardship； and dark trial； for the creatures who
are made out of its dust； I might have some tenderness for its vanities。
But I have no such tenderness。 If I did not know that we are； every one；
the subject （most justly the subject） of a wrath that must be satisfied；
and against which mere actions are nothing； I might repine at the
difference between me； imprisoned here； and the people who pass that
gateway yonder。 But I take it as a grace and favour to be elected to
make the satisfaction I am making here； to know what I know for certain
here； and to work out what I have worked out here。 My affliction might
otherwise have had no meaning to me。 Hence I would forget； and I do
forget； nothing。 Hence I am contented； and say it is better with me
than with millions。' As she spoke these words； she put her hand upon the
watch； and restored it to the precise spot on her little table which
it always occupied。 With her touch lingering upon it； she sat for some
moments afterwards； looking at it steadily and half…defiantly。
Mr Blandois； during this exposition； had been strictly attentive；
keeping his eyes fastened on the lady； and thoughtfully stroking his
moustache with his two hands。 Mr Flintwinch had been a little fidgety；
and now struck in。
'There； there； there！' said he。 'That is quite understood； Mrs Clennam；
and you have spoken piously and wel