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‘But； I think you need a friend more than anything else right now。 I’m sincere in my offer； Richard。’
‘Will you take this collar off me？’
She was silent a moment。 Her voice came heavy with regret。 ‘I cannot； Richard。 It would bring you to harm。 I have a duty to preserve your life。 The collar must stay on。’
He nodded。 ‘I have no friends。 I am in enemy territory； in enemy hands。’
‘That’s not true。 But I’m afraid that； as a novice； I won’t have the chance to convince you otherwise。 Pasha looks like a nice young woman。 Try to make friends with her； Richard。 You need a friend。’
‘I can’t make friends with someone I may have to kill。 I meant every word I said today； Sister。’
‘I know； Richard；’ she whispered。 ‘I know。 But Pasha is almost your age。 Sometimes； it’s easier to make friends with those your own age。 I think she would like to be your friend。
‘For a novice； this is as important a time as it is for a young wizard。 The relationship between a novice and the wizard she is assigned is unique。 The bond that will grow is very special； and will last the lifetime of each。
‘She； too； is frightened。 Her whole life； she has been a student； a novice。 Now； for the first time； she is the teacher。 Not only the boy learns； but the girl； too。 They both are entering a new life。 It is a very special thing； for both。’
‘Slave and master。 That is the only bond。’
She sighed。 ‘I doubt any novice has ever faced a task like the one Pasha will have。 Try to be understanding of her； Richard。 Pasha is going to have her hands full with you。 The Creator knows the Prelate herself would have her hands full with you。’
Richard stared off at nothing。 ‘Have you ever killed anyone you loved； Sister？’
‘Well； no 。。。’
Richard lifted the Agiel in his fist。 ‘Denna held me by my magic； as do the Sisters。 She kept a collar around my neck； as do the Sisters。
They had tortured her until she was mad enough to do the same to me。 I understood how she could do it； because I would have done anything she said； to keep from being hurt anymore。’
He was hardly aware of the pain from the Agiel ripping through him。
‘I understood her； and I loved her。’ A tear ran down his face。 ‘That was the only way I was able to escape。 She controlled the rage of the sword。 Because I was able to love her； I was able to turn the blade of the Sword of Truth white。’
‘Dear Creator；’ Sister Verna whispered； her eyes wide； ‘you have turned the sword’s blade white？’
Richard closed his eyes and nodded。 ‘I had to take the love of her into my heart。 Only then could I turn the blade white。 Only then could I run it through her while she looked lovingly into my eyes。 Only because I loved her； could I kill her； and escape。
As long as I live； I will never be able to forgive myself。’
Sister Verna embraced him protectively。 ‘Dear Creator；’ she whispered； ‘what have you done to your child？’
Richard pushed her away。 ‘Go； Sister； before you get into trouble。’ He wiped his eyes。 ‘I’m being foolish。’
She gripped his shoulders。 ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before？’
He wiped his sleeve across his nose。 ‘It’s not something I’m proud of。 And you are the enemy； Sister。’ He looked to her wet eyes。 ‘I’ve told you the truth； I told the other Sisters the truth today； I will kill anyone I must。 Sister； I’m capable of killing anyone。 I’m the bringer of death。 I’m a monster。 That’s why Kahlan wanted me sent away。’
She brushed his hair back from his face。 ‘She loves you； Richard。 She was trying to save your life。 Someday you will see that。’ She sighed。 ‘I’m sorry。 I must go。 Will you be all right？’
His smile was empty。 ‘I don’t think so； Sister。 I think there is going to be war。 I think I’m going to end up killing Sisters。 I hope you aren’t one of them。’
She wiped her fingers across his cheek。 ‘We never know what the Creator has in store for us。’
‘If this Creator of yours has any power； I think you’ll be restored to Sister a lot sooner than you think； Sister。’
‘I must go。 Good luck to you； Richard。 Have faith。’
As soon as she was gone he threw his cloak around his shoulders and put on his pack。 He had to act now； while they were still afraid of him； while they were still unsure。 He checked that the sword was clear in its scabbard。 He hooked the quiver on his pack and shouldered his bow as he moved out onto the balcony。
With a running knot； Richard attached the rope to the stone railing。 He put his knife between his teeth； and then slipped over the edge； into the darkness； into his element。
CHAPTER 51
Night didn’t seem to diminish the number of people on the streets of Tanimura。 The little fires cooking meat on sticks still burned； and the hawkers still conducted a brisk business。 Men called to him to e throw dice with them。 Once they saw his collar； people tried to entice him into buying everything from food to shell necklaces for his lady。 He told them that he had no coins。 They laughed； saying that the palace would pay for anything he wanted。 Richard hunched his shoulders and kept walking。
Women dressed in flimsy； revealing clothes pressed against him； giggling and smiling as they ran their hands over him； trying to get fingers into his pockets。 They made him offers he could hardly believe。 Pushing didn’t get them away。 His glare did。
Richard was relieved to leave the city behind； to leave the lights of torches； lamps； candles； and fires behind； to leave behind the smells and the noise。 He breathed easier when he was into the moonlit country。 He glanced over his shoulder at the twinkling lights while he climbed the hills。
He was constantly aware of the collar around his neck； and wondered what would happen if he went too far； though； from what Pasha had told him； that was many more miles than he intended to go。 Still； he worried she might be wrong； and that the slack in his chain might suddenly snap tight。
Finally； he reached a satisfactory spot。 He surveyed the grassy prominence overlooking the city in the distance。 A little way off to the side； in the swale； he could see the dark shapes of old trees looming up in the moonlight。 Shadows black as death lurked in the gaps。
Richard stared at the menacing gloom for a time； transfixed by a faint； lingering desire to go into the waiting folds of its night。 Something in him hungered to go in there； and call forth the magic。 Something in him lusted to bring forth the rage； to let it vent its wrath； vent his wrath。
It felt as if his frustration at being held against his will； his anger at being a helpless prisoner； his fear at not knowing what was going to happen to him； and his heartache for Kahlan； all needed to be let out； like pounding a fist against a wall when you were angry。 Somehow； those woods promised him that release。
Richard finally turned from the Hagen Woods and set about collecting firewood。 With his knife； he whittled a pile of shavings into a bare spot he had scooped out with his boot。 Striking steel and flint； he started the shavings to smoldering； and once they had taken with a good flame； he piled on some wood。 Once the fire was going nicely； he set out a pot； poured in water； and started cooking rice and beans。 While he waited for it to cook； he finished a small piece of bannock he still had left。
He sat； his arms curled around his knees； and watched the dark woods； the Hagen Woods。 He watched the city shimmering in the distance。 The sky overhead was a sparkling canopy of stars。 He watched the sky； too； waiting to see a familiar shape blacken a patch of stars。
After a time； he heard a soft thud behind him。 He laughed when the furry arms grabbed him and tumbled him onto the ground。 Gratch gurgled with his throaty laugh； his arms and legs and wings trying to enwrap his opponent。 Richard tickled his ribs； and Gratch roared with a deep； growling laughter。 The tussle ended with Gratch finally on top； hugging Richard with arms and wings。 Richard embraced the little gar tightly。
‘Grrratch luuug Raaaach aaarg。’
Richard squeezed him tighter。 ‘I love you； too； Gratch。’
Gratch put his wrinkly nose to Richard’s。 His glowing green eyes looked down； and he let out in a throaty giggle。
Richard wrinkled his nose。 ‘Gratch！ Your breath smells！’ He sat up； holding the gar in his lap。 ‘Did you catch some food on your own？’ Gratch nodded enthusiastically。 Richard hugged him again。
‘I’m so proud of you！ And you did it without blood flies。 What did you get？’ Gratch cocked his head to the side。 His furry ears turned forward。
‘Did you get a turtle？’ Richard asked。 Gratch giggled and shook his head。 ‘Did you get a deer？’ Gratch sagged with a regretful growl。 ‘Did you get a rabbit？’ Gratch bounced and shook his head； enjoying the game。
‘I give up。 What did you have to eat？’
Gratch covered his eyes with his claws； peeking out between them。
‘A raccoon？ You got a raccoon？’
Gratch nodded with a toothy grin； then threw his head back and roared as