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She had hoped she wouldn’t have to use them。 Whatever link he had to sanity dissolved in that instant。 She saw it in his eyes： the thing she feared more than death。
Betrayal。
She released her grip on his hair as； on his knees； he turned to Sister Verna。 She lifted the collar a little； holding it out to him。 It looked dull； gray； dead in the cold light。 Richard stared at it。 Snowflakes drifted down in the still； quiet light。 Expressionless； Sister Verna watched him。
All right；’ he whispered。 His shaking hand reached for the collar。 His fingers touched it； curled around it。 ‘I accept the offer。 I accept the collar。’
‘Then put it around your neck；’ Sister Verna said in a soft voice； ‘and close it。’
He turned to Kahlan。 ‘I would do anything for you；’ he whispered。
Kahlan wanted to die。
His hands shook so much she thought he might drop the collar as he took it from Sister Verna。 He held it； staring at it。
But then his hands stopped shaking。 He took a deep breath and put the collar around his neck。 It closed with a snap； and the seam disappeared； leaving a smooth ring of metal。
The shaft of light dimmed as if to twilight even though it was still day。 Deep； ominous thunder rumbled in every direction out across the grasslands。 It didn’t sound like any thunder Kahlan had ever heard before。 She could feel it in the ground beneath her feet。 She thought that maybe it had something to do with the magic of the collar； something to do with the Sisters。
She knew； when she glanced at Sister Verna and saw her eyes glide around； that it wasn’t。
Richard smoothly rose to his feet before the Sister。 ‘You may find； Sister Verna； that holding the leash to this collar is worse than wearing it。’ He gritted his teeth。 ‘Much worse。’
Sister Verna’s voice remained calm。 ‘We only want to help you； Richard。’
He nodded slightly。 ‘I take nothing on faith。 You will have to prove it。’
In a panic； a sudden thought came to Kahlan。 ‘What is the third reason？ What is the third reason for the collar？’
Richard turned to her with a glare that even his father could not have matched。 For a moment； she forgot how to breathe。
‘The first reason is to control the headaches and open my mind so that I may be taught to use the gift。 The second reason is to control me。’ His hand came up and grabbed her by the throat。 His eyes sliced through her。 ‘The third reason is to give me pain。’
She closed her eyes with a wail。 ‘No！ Dear spirits； no！’
He released her throat。 His expression went slack； lost。 ‘I hope I have proven my love for you； Kahlan。 I hope you believe me now。 I have given you everything。 I hope it is enough； I have nothing else to offer。 Nothing。’
‘You have。 More than you could ever realize。 I love you more than anything in the world； Richard。’
She reached out to touch his cheek。 He pushed her hand away。 His eyes said it all； she had betrayed him。
‘Do you？’ He looked away。 ‘I would like to believe you。’
She tried to swallow the painful； burning lump in her throat。 ‘You promised me you would never doubt my love。’
He nodded slightly。 ‘So I did。’
If she could have called lightning down on herself； she would have done it。 ‘Richard 。。。 I know you don’t understand right now； but I only did what I had to … to help you live。 To keep you from being killed by the headaches； the gift。 I hope that someday you will understand。 I will always wait for you； I love you with all my heart。’
He nodded tearfully。 ‘If that’s true； then find Zedd。 Tell him what you have done。 Tell him。’
Sister Verna’s voice broke in。 ‘Richard； take your things and go wait with the horses。’
Looking back at her； he nodded。 He went to the far corner and picked up his cloak； bow； and pack。 Reaching in； he pulled out the three leather thongs； the one with the Bird Man’s whistle； the one with Scarlet’s tooth； and the one with Denna’s Agiel。 As Kahlan watched him hang the three of them around his neck； she wished she had something of her own to give him。 She tried desperately to think of something。
As he went past her； she put a hand to his arm and stopped him。 ‘Wait。’ Kahlan pulled the knife from his belt。 She held out a long lock of her hair and severed it with the knife。 She didn’t even think about what she was doing； what happened when Confessors cut their own hair。
With a scream of pain； she found herself on the ground。 The magic seared through her； burning every nerve in its passing。 She fought to remain conscious as she gulped for air。 She struggled against the wrenching pain of it。
She had to remain conscious； or Richard might leave before she could give it to him。 She thought of only that； and forced herself to her feet。 As she did so； the pain finally abated。
Still panting； Kahlan pulled a small blue ribbon from the waist of the dress； cut it too； and after wrapping the long strand of hair around two fingers； tied it together in the middle with the ribbon。 As he watched； she returned the knife to its sheath at his belt and put the lock of hair in his shirt pocket。
‘To remind you always that my heart is with you 。。。 that I love you。’
Expressionless； he looked at her a long moment。 ‘Find Zedd；’ was all he said before turning and going through the doorway。
Kahlan stood； staring at the door after he was gone。 She felt numb； empty； lost。
Sister Verna stopped next to her； watching the door with her。 That was probably the most courageous act I have ever witnessed；’ she said softly。 The people of the Midlands are fortunate to have you as their Mother Confessor。’
Kahlan continued to stare at the door。 ‘He thinks I betrayed him。’ She turned and looked at the Sister； tears welling up in her eyes。 ‘He thinks I betrayed him。’
The Sister studied her face for a time。 ‘You have not。 I promise you that in time I will help him to see the truth of what you have done this day。’
‘Please；’ she begged； ‘don’t hurt him。’
Sister Verna clasped her hands in front of herself and took a deep breath。 ‘You have just hurt him to save his life。 Would you have me do any less？’
A tear ran down her cheek。 ‘I guess not。 And I doubt you could do anything as cruel as what I have just done。’
Sister Verna nodded。 ‘I fear you are right。 But I will give you my promise that I will personally watch over him； and see to it that what is done is only what is necessary。 I promise you that I will not let it go one inch beyond that。 Not one breath。 On my word as a Sister of the Light。’
Thank you。’ She looked down at the knife in the other’s hand。 The sister pushed it back up her sleeve。 ‘You would have killed him。 If he said no； you would have killed him。’
She nodded。 ‘If he had said no； the pain and madness at the end would have been grotesque。 I would have spared him that。 But it doesn’t matter now。 You have saved his life。 Thank you； Mother Confessor 。。。 Kahlan。’
Sister Verna stepped toward the door。 ‘Sister？ How long？ How long will you have him？ How long will I have to wait？’
The Sister didn’t turn。 ‘I’m sorry； I can’t say。 It takes as long as it takes。 Much of it is up to him。 It depends on how fast he learns。’
Kahlan smiled for the first time。 ‘I think you will be surprised at how fast Richard learns。’
Sister Verna nodded。 That is what I fear most。 Knowledge before wisdom。 It frightens me more than anything else。’
‘I think； too； that Richard’s wisdom may surprise you。’
‘I pray you are right。 Good…bye； Kahlan。 Don’t try to follow； or he will die。’
‘Sister； one more thing。’ The cold danger in her own voice surprised her。 ‘If you are lying to me about any of it； if you kill him； I will hunt down every Sister of the Light。 I will kill every last one。 But not before each of you begs endlessly to die。’
The Sister stood still as stone a moment before nodding and then going on her way。
Kahlan followed her out and stood with the people outside as she watched the sister mount her horse。 Richard already sat tall on a big bay gelding。 His back was to her as he waited。
Kahlan’s heart was breaking。 She wanted to see his face one more time； but he didn’t turn as the two of them started away。
Kahlan sank to her knees。 ‘Richard；’ she cried。 ‘I love you。’
He seemed not to hear her as he and Sister Verna disappeared into the snowy grasslands。 Kahlan sat on the ground； in her wedding dress； her head hanging down； crying。 Weselan put an arm around her； forting her。
Kahlan remembered what he had said： Find Zedd。 She forced herself to her feet。 The elders were all there。 She looked around at them all。
‘I must leave at once。 I must get to Aydindril。 I need some men to go with me； to help me； to be sure I make it。’
Savidlin came up next to her。 ‘I go。 And as many of my hunters as you wish。 All of them； if you wish。 We will take a hundred。’
Kahlan put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a little smile。 Wo I do not wish it to be you； my friend； or your hunters。 I will t