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Sister Verna had just finished currying Jessup and was lifting on his saddle。 She eyed him with a sidelong glance before moving to her horse’s head； speaking softly and privately to him as she scratched his chin。 Richard took up the curry b and brushed quickly at Geraldine’s back； cautioning her sharply to stand still and quit turning about。 He wanted to be away quickly。
‘Did you make sure they wouldn’t find the body？’
His hand with the b froze on Geraldine’s flanks。 ‘If they find what’s left； they won’t know what happened。 I was attacked by gars。 They got the body。’
She thought this over silently for a moment。 ‘I thought I heard gars。 Well； I guess that will do。’ He went back to brushing as she spoke again。 ‘Did you kill them？’
‘I killed one。’ He considered not telling her； but decided it didn’t matter。 ‘There was a baby gar。 I didn’t kill it。’
‘Gars are murderous beasts。 You should have killed it。 Perhaps you should go back and finish it。’
‘I can’t。 It 。。。 won’t let me get close enough。’
With a little grunt she pulled the girth strap tight。 ‘You have a bow。’
‘What difference does it make？ Let’s just be off。 All by itself； it will probably die anyway。’
She bent； checking that the strap wasn’t pinching her horse。 ‘Perhaps you’re right。 It would be best if we were away from here。’
‘Sister？ Why haven’t the gars bothered us before？’
‘Because I shield against them with my Han。 You were too far away； beyond my shields； and so they came for you。’
‘So this shield will keep all gars away from us？’
‘Yes。’
Well； at least there was one thing the Han was good for。
‘Doesn’t that take a lot of power？ Gars are big beasts。 Isn’t it hard？’
The question brought a small smile to her lips。 ‘Yes； gars are big； and there are other beasts I must shield against； too。 All this would take much power。 You must always search for the way to acplish the task using the least amount of Han。’
She stroked her horse’s neck as she went on。 ‘I keep the gars away not by repelling the beasts themselves； but by shielding against their blood flies。 It’s much easier。 If the flies can’t get through the shield； the gars won’t think there is anything worthwhile and so won’t e to us either。 It uses little of my strength this way； yet achieves my aim。’
‘Why didn’t you use this shield against the people here？ Against the woman tonight？’
‘Some of the people in the wilds have charms against our power。 That’s why many Sisters die trying to cross。 If we knew how these charms or spells worked； we might be able to counter them； but we don’t。 It’s a mystery to us。’
Richard finished saddling Geraldine and Bonnie in silence。 The Sister waited patiently。 He thought she had more to say； about their argument before he had gone to bury the woman； but she remained silent。 He decided to speak first； and get it over with。
‘Sister Verna； I’m sorry about Sisters Grace and Elizabeth。’ He idly stroked Bonnie’s shoulder as he studied the ground。 ‘I said a prayer over their graves。 I just wanted you to know that。 A prayer to the good spirits to watch over them and treat them well。 I didn’t want them to die。 You may think otherwise； but I don’t want anyone to die。 I’m sick of death。 I can’t even eat meat anymore because I can’t stand the thought of anything having to die just to feed me。’
‘Thank you for the prayer； Richard； but you must learn that it is only the Creator we must pray to。 It is His light that guides。 Praying to spirits is heathenish。’ She seemed to think better of her harsh tone； and softened it。 ‘But you are unschooled； and would not know that。 I can’t fault you for doing the best you could。 I’m sure the Creator heard your prayer； and understood its benevolent intent。’
Richard didn’t like her narrow…minded attitude。 He thought that perhaps he knew more about spirits than she did。 He didn’t know much about this Creator of hers； but he had seen spirits before； both good and bad。 He knew you ignored them at your own peril。
Her dogmas seemed as foolish to him as the superstitions of the country people he knew when he had been a guide。 They had been full of stories of how people came to be。 Each remote area he had visited had its own version of man created from this or that animal or plant。 Richard had liked listening to the stories。 They were filled with wonder and magic。 But they were just stories； rooted in a need to understand how the teller fit into the world。 He was not going to accept on faith the things the Sisters said。
He did not think that the Creator was like some king； sitting upon a throne； listening to every petty prayer to e his way。 Spirits had been alive once； and they understood the needs of mortals； understood the exigencies of living flesh and blood。
Zedd had taught him that the Creator was simply another name for the force of balance in all things； and not some wise man sitting in judgment。
But what did it matter？ He knew people held tightly to their doctrines and were closed…minded about it。 Sister Verna believed what she did and he wasn’t going to change it。 He had never faulted people for the beliefs they held； he was not about to start now。 Such beliefs； true or not； could be a balm。
He pulled the baldric off over his head and held the sword out to her。 ‘I’ve thought about the things you said before。 I’ve decided I don’t want the sword anymore。’
Her hands came up and he laid the weight of the sword； scabbard； and baldric in them。
She showed no emotion。 ‘Do you really mean this？’
He nodded。 ‘I do。 I am finished with it。 The sword is yours now。’
He turned to check his saddle。 Even without the sword at his hip； he could still feel the tingle of its magic。 He could give up the sword； but the magic was still within him； he was the true Seeker； and could not be rid of that。 At least he could be rid of the blade； and thereby the things he did with it。
‘You are a very dangerous man； Richard；’ she whispered。
He looked back over his shoulder。 That’s why I’m giving you the sword。 I don’t want it any longer； and you do； so it’s yours。 We’ll see now how you like killing with it。’
He tucked the end of the girth strap through the buckle and drew it tight。 He gave Bonnie a gentle pat before turning around。 Sister Verna was still holding out the sword。
‘Until now I had no idea just how dangerous you are。’
‘Not anymore。 You have the sword now。’
‘I cannot accept it；’ she whispered。 ‘It was my duty to take the sword from you when you came back … to test you。 There was only one thing you could have done to prevent losing it。 And you have done it。’ She lifted the sword to him。 ‘There is no man more dangerous than one who is unpredictable。 There is no way to forecast what you will do when pushed。 It is going to be great trouble。 For you。 For us。’
Richard didn’t know what she was talking about。 ‘There’s nothing unpredictable about it。 You wanted the sword； and I’m weary of the things I do with it； so I gave it to you。’
‘You understand； because it is the way you think。 Others don’t think that way。 You’re an enigma。 Worse； your inexplicable behavior es at the times you need it most。 That is the gift at work。 You’re using your Han without understanding what you are doing。 That is dangerous。’
‘One reason for the collar is to open my mind to the gift。 That’s what you said。 If I’m using the gift； which is what you want me to do； and if it is what I need； then I don’t see how that is dangerous。’
‘What you need and what’s right are not necessarily the same。 Just because you want something； that does not make it right。’ She nodded to the sword。 Take it back。 I cannot accept it now。 You must keep it。’
‘I told you； I don’t want it。’
Then throw it in the fire。 I cannot take it。 It’s tainted。’
Richard snatched it out of her hands。 ‘I’m not throwing it in the fire。’ He put his head through the baldric and straightened the scabbard at his hip。 ‘I think you’re too superstitious； Sister。 It’s just a sword。 It is not tainted。’
She was wrong。 It was the magic that was tainted； and he had not offered that to her。 Even if he wanted to be rid of its magic； all magic； he could not。 It was part of him。 Kahlan had seen that； and she had rid herself of it。 Of him。
She turned from him and mounted Jessup。 Her voice was cold and distant。 ‘We must be on our way。’
Richard settled into his saddle and followed after。 He hoped the little gar would have a chance at life； after the meal it had needed。 He said a silent good…bye to it as he rode into the night behind Sister Verna。
Though he had meant what he said about giving her the sword； he felt strangely relieved to have it back。 It belonged with him； and somehow made him whole。 Zedd had given it to him； it was what had changed him； but it was also all he had to remind him of his friend and home。
CHAPTER 25
The horse was exhausted； but still ran with wild abandon。 Adie held a