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to share even a commodious bedroom with samples of
henroost and stye products。
〃Wouldn't they be happier somewhere outside?〃 he
asked; tactfully expressing his own preference in the
matter in an apparent solicitude for theirs。
〃There is no outside;〃 said Vera impressively;
〃nothing but a waste of dark; swirling waters。 The
reservoir at Brinkley has burst。〃
〃I didn't know there was a reservoir at Brinkley;〃
said Latimer。
〃Well; there isn't now; it's jolly well all over the
place; and as we stand particularly low we're the centre
of an inland sea just at present。 You see the river has
overflowed its banks as well。〃
〃Good gracious! Have any lives been lost?〃
〃Heaps; I should say。 The second housemaid has
already identified three bodies that have floated past
the billiard…room window as being the young man she's
engaged to。 Either she's engaged to a large assortment
of the population round here or else she's very careless
at identification。 Of course it may be the same body
coming round again and again in a swirl; I hadn't thought
of that。〃
〃But we ought to go out and do rescue work; oughtn't
we?〃 said Latimer; with the instinct of a Parliamentary
candidate for getting into the local limelight。
〃We can't;〃 said Vera decidedly; 〃we haven't any
boats and we're cut off by a raging torrent from any
human habitation。 My aunt particularly hoped you would
keep to your room and not add to the confusion; but she
thought it would be so kind of you if you would take in
Hartlepool's Wonder; the gamecock; you know; for the
night。 You see; there are eight other gamecocks; and
they fight like furies if they get together; so we're
putting one in each bedroom。 The fowl…houses are all
flooded out; you know。 And then I thought perhaps you
wouldn't mind taking in this wee piggie; he's rather a
little love; but he has a vile temper。 He gets that from
his mother … not that I like to say things against her
when she's lying dead and drowned in her stye; poor
thing。 What he really wants is a man's firm hand to keep
him in order。 I'd try and grapple with him myself; only
I've got my chow in my room; you know; and he goes for
pigs wherever he finds them。〃
〃Couldn't the pig go in the bathroom?〃 asked Latimer
faintly; wishing that he had taken up as determined a
stand on the subject of bedroom swine as the chow had。
〃The bathroom?〃 Vera laughed shrilly。 〃It'll be
full of Boy Scouts till morning if the hot water holds
out。〃
〃Boy Scouts?〃
〃Yes; thirty of them came to rescue us while the
water was only waist…high; then it rose another three
feet or so and we had to rescue them。 We're giving them
hot baths in batches and drying their clothes in the hot…
air cupboard; but; of course; drenched clothes don't dry
in a minute; and the corridor and staircase are beginning
to look like a bit of coast scenery by Tuke。 Two of the
boys are wearing your Melton overcoat; I hope you don't
mind。〃
〃It's a new overcoat;〃 said Latimer; with every
indication of minding dreadfully。
〃You'll take every care of Hartlepool's Wonder;
won't you?〃 said Vera。 〃His mother took three firsts at
Birmingham; and he was second in the cockerel class last
year at Gloucester。 He'll probably roost on the rail at
the bottom of your bed。 I wonder if he'd feel more at
home if some of his wives were up here with him? The
hens are all in the pantry; and I think I could pick out
Hartlepool Helen; she's his favourite。〃
Latimer showed a belated firmness on the subject of
Hartlepool Helen; and Vera withdrew without pressing the
point; having first settled the gamecock on his
extemporised perch and taken an affectionate farewell of
the pigling。 Latimer undressed and got into bed with all
due speed; judging that the pig would abate its
inquisitorial restlessness once the light was turned out。
As a substitute for a cosy; straw…bedded sty the room
offered; at first inspection; few attractions; but the
disconsolate animal suddenly discovered an appliance in
which the most luxuriously contrived piggeries were
notably deficient。 The sharp edge of the underneath part
of the bed was pitched at exactly the right elevation to
permit the pigling to scrape himself ecstatically
backwards and forwards; with an artistic humping of the
back at the crucial moment and an accompanying gurgle of
long…drawn delight。 The gamecock; who may have fancied
that he was being rocked in the branches of a pine…tree;
bore the motion with greater fortitude than Latimer was
able to command。 A series of slaps directed at the pig's
body were accepted more as an additional and pleasing
irritant than as a criticism of conduct or a hint to
desist; evidently something more than a man's firm hand
was needed to deal with the case。 Latimer slipped out of
bed in search of a weapon of dissuasion。 There was
sufficient light in the room to enable the pig to detect
this manoeuvre; and the vile temper; inherited from the
drowned mother; found full play。 Latimer bounded back
into bed; and his conqueror; after a few threatening
snorts and champings of its jaws; resumed its massage
operations with renewed zeal。 During the long wakeful
hours which ensued Latimer tried to distract his mind
from his own immediate troubles by dwelling with decent
sympathy on the second housemaid's bereavement; but he
found himself more often wondering how many Boy Scouts
were sharing his Melton overcoat。 The role of Saint
Martin malgre lui was not one which appealed to him。
Towards dawn the pigling fell into a happy slumber;
and Latimer might have followed its example; but at about
the same time Stupor Hartlepooli gave a rousing crow;
clattered down to the floor and forthwith commenced a
spirited combat with his reflection in the wardrobe
mirror。 Remembering that the bird was more or less under
his care Latimer performed Hague Tribunal offices by
draping a bath…towel over the provocative mirror; but the
ensuing peace was local and short…lived。 The deflected
energies of the gamecock found new outlet in a sudden and
sustained attack on the sleeping and temporarily
inoffensive pigling; and the duel which followed was
desperate and embittered beyond any possibility of
effective intervention。 The feathered combatant had the
advantage of being able; when hard pressed; to take
refuge on the bed; and freely availed himself of this
circumstance; the pigling never quite succeeded in
hurling himself on to the same eminence; but it was not
from want of trying。
Neither side could claim any decisive success; and
the struggle had been practically fought to a standstill
by the time that the maid appeared with the early morning
tea。
〃Lor; sir;〃 she exclaimed in undisguised
astonishment; 〃do you want those animals in your room?〃
WANT!
The pigling; as though aware that it might have
outstayed its welcome; dashed out at the door; and the
gamecock followed it at a more dignified pace。
〃If Miss Vera's dog sees that pig … !〃 exclaimed the
maid; and hurried off to avert such a catastrophe。
A cold suspicion was stealing over Latimer's mind;
he went to the window and drew up the blind。 A light;
drizzling rain was falling; but there was not the
faintest trace of any inundation。
Some half…hour later he met Vera on the way to the
breakfast…room。
〃I should not like to think of you as a deliberate
liar;〃 he observed coldly; 〃but one occasionally has to
do things one does not like。〃
〃At any rate I kept your mind from dwelling on
politics all the night;〃 said Vera。
Which was; of course; perfectly true。
THE UNKINDEST BLOW
THE season of strikes seemed to have run itself to a
standstill。 Almost every trade and industry and calling
in which a dislocation could possibly be engineered had
indulged in that luxury。 The last and least successful
convulsion had been the strike of the World's Union of
Zoological Garden attendants; who; pending the settlement
of certain demands; refused to minister further to the
wants of the animals committed to their charge or to
allow any other keepers to take their place。 In this
case the threat of the Zoological Gardens authorities
that if the men 〃came out〃 the animals should come out
also had intensified and precipitated the crisis。 The
imminent prospect of the larger carnivores; to say
nothing of rhinoceroses and bull bison; roaming at large
and unfed in the heart of London; was not one which
permitted of prolonged conferences。 The Government of
the day; which from its tendency to be a few hours behind
the course of events had been nicknamed the Government of
the afternoon; was obliged to intervene wit