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Eight or nine lists came out； and were duly
pencilled with the suggestion。
〃And where are the Klammersteins？〃 asked Lady
Blonze； 〃they're usually so punctual。〃
〃Another character pose； perhaps；〃 said Bertie van
Tahn； 〃 'the Lost Ten Tribes。' 〃
〃But there are only three of them。 Besides； they'll
want their lunch。 Hasn't anyone seen anything of them？〃
〃Didn't you take them out in your car？〃 asked
Blanche Boveal； addressing herself to Cyril Skatterly。
〃Yes； took them out to Slogberry Moor immediately
after breakfast。 Miss Durmot came too。〃
〃I saw you and Vera come back；〃 said Lady Blonze；
〃but I didn't see the Klammersteins。 Did you put them
down in the village？〃
〃No；〃 said Skatterly shortly。
〃But where are they？ Where did you leave them？〃
〃We left them on Slogberry Moor；〃 said Vera calmly。
〃On Slogberry Moor？ Why； it's more than thirty
miles away！ How are they going to get back？〃
〃We didn't stop to consider that；〃 said Skatterly；
〃we asked them to get out for a moment； on the pretence
that the car had stuck； and then we dashed off full speed
and left them there。〃
〃But how dare you do such a thing？ It's most
inhuman！ Why； it's been snowing for the last hour。〃
〃I expect there'll be a cottage or farmhouse
somewhere if they walk a mile or two。〃
〃But why on earth have you done it？〃
The question came in a chorus of indignant
bewilderment。
〃THAT would be telling what our characters are meant
to be；〃 said Vera。
〃Didn't I warn you？〃 said Sir Nicholas tragically to
his wife。
〃It's something to do with Spanish history； we don't
mind giving you that clue；〃 said Skatterly； helping
himself cheerfully to salad； and then Bertie van Tahn
broke forth into peals of joyous laughter。
〃I've got it！ Ferdinand and Isabella deporting the
Jews！ Oh； lovely！ Those two have certainly won the
prize； we shan't get anything to beat that for
thoroughness。〃
Lady Blonze's Christmas party was talked about and
written about to an extent that she had not anticipated
in her most ambitious moments。 The letters from Waldo's
mother would alone have made it memorable。
COUSIN TERESA
BASSET HARROWCLUFF returned to the home of his
fathers； after an absence of four years； distinctly well
pleased with himself。 He was only thirty…one； but he had
put in some useful service in an out…of…the…way； though
not unimportant； corner of the world。 He had quieted a
province； kept open a trade route； enforced the tradition
of respect which is worth the ransom of many kings in
out…of…the…way regions； and done the whole business on
rather less expenditure than would be requisite for
organising a charity in the home country。 In Whitehall
and places where they think； they doubtless thought well
of him。 It was not inconceivable； his father allowed
himself to imagine； that Basset's name might figure in
the next list of Honours。
Basset was inclined to be rather contemptuous of his
half…brother； Lucas； whom he found feverishly engrossed
in the same medley of elaborate futilities that had
claimed his whole time and energies； such as they were；
four years ago； and almost as far back before that as he
could remember。 It was the contempt of the man of action
for the man of activities； and it was probably
reciprocated。 Lucas was an over…well nourished
individual； some nine years Basset's senior； with a
colouring that would have been accepted as a sign of
intensive culture in an asparagus； but probably meant in
this case mere abstention from exercise。 His hair and
forehead furnished a recessional note in a personality
that was in all other respects obtrusive and assertive。
There was certainly no Semitic blood in Lucas's
parentage； but his appearance contrived to convey at
least a suggestion of Jewish extraction。 Clovis
Sangrail； who knew most of his associates by sight； said
it was undoubtedly a case of protective mimicry。
Two days after Basset's return； Lucas frisked in to
lunch in a state of twittering excitement that could not
be restrained even for the immediate consideration of
soup； but had to be verbally discharged in spluttering
competition with mouthfuls of vermicelli。
〃I've got hold of an idea for something immense；〃 he
babbled； 〃something that is simply It。〃
Basset gave a short laugh that would have done
equally well as a snort； if one had wanted to make the
exchange。 His half…brother was in the habit of
discovering futilities that were 〃simply It〃 at
frequently recurring intervals。 The discovery generally
meant that he flew up to town； preceded by glowingly…
worded telegrams； to see some one connected with the
stage or the publishing world； got together one or two
momentous luncheon parties； flitted in and out of
〃Gambrinus〃 for one or two evenings； and returned home
with an air of subdued importance and the asparagus tint
slightly intensified。 The great idea was generally
forgotten a few weeks later in the excitement of some new
discovery。
〃The inspiration came to me whilst I was dressing；〃
announced Lucas； 〃it will be THE thing in the next music…
hall REVUE。 All London will go mad over it。 It's just a
couplet； of course there will be other words； but they
won't matter。 Listen：
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar；
Fido； Jock； and the big borzoi。
A lifting； catchy sort of refrain； you see； and big…
drum business on the two syllables of bor…zoi。 It's
immense。 And I've thought out all the business of it；
the singer will sing the first verse alone； then during
the second verse Cousin Teresa will walk through；
followed by four wooden dogs on wheels； Caesar will be an
Irish terrier； Fido a black poodle； Jock a fox…terrier；
and the borzoi； of course； will be a borzoi。 During the
third verse Cousin Teresa will come on alone； and the
dogs will be drawn across by themselves from the opposite
wing； then Cousin Teresa will catch on to the singer and
go off…stage in one direction； while the dogs' procession
goes off in the other； crossing en route； which is always
very effective。 There'll be a lot of applause there； and
for the fourth verse Cousin Teresa will come on in sables
and the dogs will all have coats on。 Then I've got a
great idea for the fifth verse； each of the dogs will be
led on by a Nut； and Cousin Teresa will come on from the
opposite side； crossing en route； always effective； and
then she turns round and leads the whole lot of them off
on a string； and all the time every one singing like mad：
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar
Fido； Jock； and the big borzoi。
Tum…Tum！ Drum business on the two last syllables。
I'm so excited； I shan't sleep a wink to…night。 I'm off
to…morrow by the ten…fifteen。 I've wired to Hermanova to
lunch with me。〃
If any of the rest of the family felt any excitement
over the creation of Cousin Teresa； they were signally
successful in concealing the fact。
〃Poor Lucas does take his silly little ideas
seriously；〃 said Colonel Harrowcluff afterwards in the
smoking…room。
〃Yes；〃 said his younger son； in a slightly less
tolerant tone； 〃in a day or two he'll come back and tell
us that his sensational masterpiece is above the heads of
the public； and in about three weeks' time he'll be wild
with enthusiasm over a scheme to dramatise the poems of
Herrick or something equally promising。〃
And then an extraordinary thing befell。 In defiance
of all precedent Lucas's glowing anticipations were
justified and endorsed by the course of events。 If
Cousin Teresa was above the heads of the public； the
public heroically adapted itself to her altitude。
Introduced as an experiment at a dull moment in a new
REVUE； the success of the item was unmistakable； the
calls were so insistent and uproarious that even Lucas'
ample devisings of additional 〃business〃 scarcely
sufficed to keep pace with the demand。 Packed houses on
successive evenings confirmed the verdict of the first
night audience； stalls and boxes filled significantly
just before the turn came on； and emptied significantly
after the last ENCORE had been given。 The manager
tearfully acknowledged that Cousin Teresa was It。 Stage
hands and supers and programme sellers acknowledged it to
one another without the least reservation。 The name of
the REVUE dwindled to secondary importance； and vast
letters of electric blue blazoned the words 〃Cousin
Teresa〃 from the front of the great palace of pleasure。
And； of course； the magic of the famous refrain laid its
spell all over the Metropolis。 Restaurant proprietors
were obliged to provide the members of their orchestras
with painted wooden dogs on wheels； in order that the