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astonishment of the footman。'
Birkin declared he loved a joke as well as another； but asked if
any of the company could tell where Mr Cropdale lodged； that he
might send him a proposal about restitution； before the boots
should be made away with。 'I would willingly give him a pair of
new shoes （said he）； and half a guinea into the bargain' for the
boots； which fitted me like a glove； and I shan't be able to get
the fellows of them 'till the good weather for riding is over。
The stuttering wit declared； that the only secret which Cropdale
ever kept； was the place of his lodgings； but he believed； that；
during the heats of summer； he commonly took his repose upon a
bulk； or indulged himself； in fresco； with one of the kennel…nymphs；
under the portico of St Martin's church。 'Pox on him！
（cried the bookseller） he might as well have taken my whip and
spurs。 In that case； he might have been tempted to steal another
horse； and then he would have rid to the devil of course。'
After coffee； I took my leave of Mr S； with proper
acknowledgments of his civility； and was extremely well pleased
with the entertainment of the day； though not yet satisfied； with
respect to the nature of this connexion； betwixt a man of
character in the literary world； and a parcel of authorlings；
who； in all probability； would never be able to acquire any
degree of reputation by their labours。 On this head I
interrogated my conductor； Dick Ivy； who answered me to this
effect 'One would imagine S had some view to his own interest；
in giving countenance and assistance to those people； whom he
knows to be bad men； as well as bad writers； but； if he has any
such view； he will find himself disappointed； for if he is so
vain as to imagine he can make them； subservient to his schemes
of profit or ambition； they are cunning enough to make him their
property in the mean time。 There is not one of the company you
have seen to…day （myself excepted） who does not owe him
particular obligations One of them he bailed out of a spunging…house；
and afterwards paid the debt another he translated into
his family； and clothed； when he was turned out half naked from
jail in consequence of an act for the relief of insolvent
debtors a third； who was reduced to a woollen night cap； and
lived upon sheeps trotters； up three pair of stairs backward in
Butcher…row； he took into present pay and free quarters； and
enabled him to appear as a gentleman； without having the fear of
sheriff's officers before his eyes。 Those who are in distress he
supplies with money when he has it； and with his credit when he
is out of cash。 When they want business； he either finds
employment for them in his own service； or recommends them to
booksellers to execute some project he has formed for their
subsistence。 They are always welcome to his table （which though
plain； is plentiful） and to his good offices as far as they will
go； and when they see Occasion； they make use of his name with
the most petulant familiarity； nay； they do not even scruple to
arrogate to themselves the merit of some of his performances； and
have been known to sell their own lucubrations as the produce of
his brain。 The Scotchman you saw at dinner once personated him at
an alehouse in West…Smithfield and； in the character of S； had
his head broke by a cow…keeper； for having spoke disrespectfully
of the Christian religion； but he took the law of him in his own
person； and the assailant was fain to give him ten pounds to
withdraw his action。'
I observed； that all this appearance of liberality on the side of
Mr S was easily accounted for； on the supposition that they
flattered him in private； and engaged his adversaries in public；
and yet I was astonished； when I recollected that I often had
seen this writer virulently abused in papers； poems； and
pamphlets； and not a pen was drawn in his defence 'But you will
be more astonished （said he） when I assure you； those very guests
whom you saw at his table to…day； were the authors of great part
of that abuse； and he himself is well aware of their particular
favours； for they are all eager to detect and betray one
another。' 'But this is doing the devil's work for nothing （cried
I）。 What should induce them to revile their benefactor without
provocation？' 'Envy （answered Dick） is the general incitement；
but they are galled by an additional scourge of provocation。 S
directs a literary journal； in which their productions are
necessarily brought to trial； and though many of them have been
treated with such lenity and favour as they little deserved； yet
the slightest censure； such as； perhaps； could not be avoided
with any pretensions to candour and impartiality； has rankled in
the hearts of those authors to such a degree； that they have
taken immediate vengeance on the critic in anonymous libels；
letters； and lampoons。 Indeed； all the writers of the age； good；
bad； and indifferent； from the moment he assumed this office；
became his enemies； either professed or in petto； except those of
his friends who knew they had nothing to fear from his
strictures； and he must be a wiser man than me who can tell what
advantage or satisfaction he derives from having brought such a
nest of hornets about his ears。'
I owned； that was a point which might deserve consideration； but
still I expressed a desire to know his real motives for
continuing his friendship to a set of rascals equally ungrateful
and insignificant。 He said； he did not pretend to assign any
reasonable motive； that； if the truth must be told； the man was；
in point of conduct； a most incorrigible fool； that； though he
pretended to have a knack at hitting off characters； he blundered
strangely in the distribution of his favours； which were
generally bestowed on the most undeserving of those who had
recourse to his assistance； that； indeed； this preference was not
so much owing to want of discernment as to want of resolution；
for he had not fortitude enough to resist the importunity even of
the most worthless； and； as he did not know the value of money；
there was very little merit in parting with it so easily； that
his pride was gratified in seeing himself courted by such a
number of literary dependents； that； probably； he delighted in
hearing them expose and traduce one another； and； finally； from
their information； he became acquainted with all the transactions
of Grubstreet； which he had some thoughts of compiling for the
entertainment of the public。
I could not help suspecting； from Dick's discourse； that he had
some particular grudge against S； upon whose conduct he had put
the worst construction it would bear； and； by dint of cross…examination；
I found he was not at all satisfied with the
character which had been given in the Review of his last
performance； though it had been treated civilly in consequence of
the author's application to the critic。 By all accounts； S is not
without weakness and caprice； but he is certainly good…humoured
and civilized； nor do I find that there is any thing overbearing；
cruel； or implacable in his disposition。
I have dwelt so long upon authors； that you will perhaps suspect
I intend to enroll myself among the fraternity； but； if I were
actually qualified for the profession； it is at best but a
desperate resource against starving； as it affords no provision
for old age and infirmity。 Salmon； at the age of fourscore； is
now in a garret； compiling matter； at a guinea a sheet； for a
modern historian； who； in point of age； might be his grandchild；
and Psalmonazar； after having drudged half a century in the
literary mill； in all the simplicity and abstinence of an
Asiatic； subsists upon the charity of a few booksellers； just
sufficient to keep him from the parish； I think Guy； who was
himself a bookseller； ought to have appropriated one wing or ward
of his hospital to the use of decayed authors； though indeed；
there is neither hospital； college； nor workhouse； within the
bills of mortality； large enough to contain the poor of this
society； composed； as it is； from the refuse of every other
profession。
I know not whether you will find any amusement in this account of
an odd race of mortals； whose constitution had； I own； greatly
interested the curiosity of
Yours；
J。 MELFORD
LONDON； June 10。
To Miss LAETITIA WILLIS； at Gloucester。
MY DEAR LETTY；
There is something on my spirits； which I should not venture to
communicate by the post； but having the opportunity of Mrs
Brentwood's return； I seize it eagerly； to disburthen my poor
heart； which is oppressed with fear and vexation。 O Letty！ what
a miserable situation it is； to be without a friend to whom one
can apply for counsel and consolation in distress！ I hinted in my
last； that one Mr Barton had been very particular in his
civilities： I can no longer mistake his meaning he has formally
professed himself my admirer； and； after a thousand assiduities；
perceiving I made but a cold return to his addresses； he had
recourse to the mediation of lady Griskin； who has acted the part
of a very warm advocate in his behalf： but； my dear Willis； her
ladyship over acts her part she not only expatiates on the ample
for