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ARETHUSA。 Kit！ Kit！
PEW （WITH THE KNIFE RAISED）。 Pew's way！
SCENE IV
TO THESE； KIT
（He leaps through window； R。； and cuts PEW down。 At the same
moment； GAUNT； who has been staring helplessly at his daughter's
peril； fully awakes。）
GAUNT。 Death and blood！ （KIT； HELPING ARETHUSA； HAS LET FALL
THE CUTLASS。 GAUNT PICKS IT UP AND RUNS ON PEW。） Damned
mutineer； I'll have your heart out！ （HE STOPS； STANDS STARING；
DROPS CUTLASS； FALLS UPON HIS KNEES。） God forgive me！ Ah； foul
sins； would you blaze forth again？ Lord； close your ears！
Hester； Hester； hear me not！ Shall all these years and tears be
unavailing？
ARETHUSA。 Father； I am not hurt。
GAUNT。 Ay； daughter； but my soul … my lost soul！
PEW （RISING ON HIS ELBOW）。 Rum？ You've done me。 For God's
sake； rum。 （ARETHUSA POURS OUT A GLASS； WHICH KIT GIVES TO HIM。）
Rum？ This ain't rum； it's fire！ （WITH GREAT EXCITEMENT。）
What's this？ I don't like rum？ （FEEBLY。） Ay； then； I'm a dead
man； and give me water。
GAUNT。 Now even his sins desert him。
PEW （DRINKING WATER）。 Jack Gaunt； you've always been my rock
ahead。 It's thanks to you I've got my papers； and this time I'm
shipped for Fiddler's Green。 Admiral； we ain't like to meet
again； and I'll give you a toast： Here's Fiddler's Green； and
damn all lubbers！ （SEIZING GAUNT'S ARM。） I say … fair dealings；
Jack！ … none of that heaven business： Fiddler's Green's my port；
now； ain't it？
GAUNT。 David； you've hove short up； and God forbid that I
deceive you。 Pray； man； pray； for in the place to which you are
bound there is no mercy and no hope。
PEW。 Ay； my lass； you're black； but your blood's red； and I'm
all a…muck with it。 Pass the rum； and be damned to you。 （TRYING
TO SING） …
'Time for us to go；
Time for us … '
（HE DIES。）
GAUNT。 But for the grace of God； there lies John Gaunt！
Christopher； you have saved my child； and I； I； that was blinded
with self…righteousness； have fallen。 Take her； Christopher； but
O； walk humbly！
CURTAIN
Play： MACAIRE … A MELODRAMATIC FARCE IN THREE ACTS
PERSONS REPRESENTED
ROBERT MACAIRE。
BERTRAND。
DUMONT； Landlord of the AUBERGE DES ADRETS。
CHARLES； a Gendarme； Dumont's supposed son。
GORIOT。
THE MARQUIS； Charles's Father。
THE BRIGADIER of Gendarmerie。
THE CURATE。
THE NOTARY。
A WAITER。
ERNESTINE； Goriot's Daughter。
ALINE。
MAIDS； PEASANTS （MALE AND FEMALE）； GENDARMES。
The Scene is laid in the Courtyard of the AUBERGE DES ADRETS； on
the frontier of France and Savoy。 The time 1800。 The action
occupies an interval of from twelve to fourteen hours： from four
in the afternoon till about five in the morning。
NOTE。 … THE TIME BETWEEN THE ACTS SHOULD BE AS BRIEF AS POSSIBLE；
AND THE PIECE PLAYED； WHERE IT IS MERELY COMIC； IN A VEIN OF
PATTER。
MACAIRE
ACT I。
The Stage represents the courtyard of the Auberge des Adrets。 It
is surrounded by the buildings of the inn； with a gallery on the
first story； approached； C。； by a straight flight of stairs。 L。
C。； the entrance doorway。 A little in front of this； a small
grated office； containing business table； brass…bound cabinet；
and portable cash…box。 In front； R。 and L。； tables and benches；
one；L。； partially laid for a considerable party。
SCENE I
ALINE and MAIDS； to whom FIDDLERS； afterwards DUMONT and CHARLES。
As the curtain rises； the sound of the violins is heard
approaching。 ALINE and the inn servants； who are discovered
laying the table； dance up to door L。 C。； to meet the FIDDLERS；
who enter likewise dancing to their own music。 Air： 'Haste to
the Wedding。' The FIDDLERS exeunt playing into house； R。 U。 E。
ALINE and MAIDS dance back to table； which they proceed to
arrange。
ALINE。 Well； give me fiddles： fiddles and a wedding feast。 It
tickles your heart till your heels make a runaway match of it。 I
don't mind extra work； I don't； so long as there's fun about it。
Hand me up that pile of plates。 The quinces there； before the
bride。 Stick a pink in the Notary's glass： that's the girl he's
courting。
DUMONT （ENTERING； WITH CHARLES）。 Good girls； good girls！
Charles； in ten minutes from now what happy faces will smile
around that board！
CHARLES。 Sir； my good fortune is complete； and most of all in
this； that my happiness has made my father happy。
DUMONT。 Your father？ Ah； well； upon that point we shall have
more to say。
CHARLES。 What more remains that has not been said already？ For
surely； sir； there are few sons more fortunate in their father：
and； since you approve of this marriage； may I not conceive you
to be in that sense fortunate in your son？
DUMONT。 Dear boy； there is always a variety of considerations。
But the moment is ill chosen for dispute； to…night； at least； let
our felicity be unalloyed。 （LOOKING OFF L。 C。） Our guests
arrive： here is our good Curate； and here our cheerful Notary。
CHARLES。 His old infirmity； I fear。
DUMONT。 But Charles … dear boy！ … at your wedding feast！ I
should have taken it unneighbourly had he come strictly sober。
SCENE II
To these； by the door L。 C。； the CURATE and the NOTARY； arm in
arm； the latter owl…like and titubant。
CURATE。 Peace be on this house！
NOTARY （SINGING）。 'Prove an excuse for the glass。'
DUMONT。 Welcome； excellent neighbours！ The Church and the Law。
CURATE。 And you； Charles； let me hope your feelings are in
solemn congruence with this momentous step。
NOTARY （DIGGING CHARLES IN THE RIBS）。 Married？ Lovely bride？
Prove an excuse！
DUMONT （TO CURATE）。 I fear our friend？ perhaps？ as usual？ eh？
CURATE。 Possibly： I had not yet observed it。
DUMONT。 Well； well； his heart is good。
CURATE。 He doubtless meant it kindly。
NOTARY。 Where's Aline？
ALINE。 Coming； sir！ （NOTARY MAKES FOR HER。）
CURATE （CAPTURING HIM）。 You will infallibly expose yourself to
misconstruction。 （TO CHARLES。） Where is your commanding
officer？
CHARLES。 Why； sir； we have quite an alert。 Information has been
received from Lyons that the notorious malefactor； Robert
Macaire； has broken prison； and the Brigadier is now scouring the
country in his pursuit。 I myself am instructed to watch the
visitors to our house。
DUMONT。 That will do； Charles： you may go。 （EXIT CHARLES。）
You have considered the case I laid before you？
NOTARY。 Considered a case？
DUMONT。 Yes； yes。 Charles； you know； Charles。 Can he marry？
under these untoward and peculiar circumstances； can he marry？
NOTARY。 Now； lemme tell you： marriage is a contract to which
there are two constracting parties。 That being clear； I am
prepared to argue categorically that your son Charles … who； it
appears； is not your son Charles … I am prepared to argue that
one party to a contract being null and void； the other party to a
contract cannot by law oblige or constrain the first party to
constract or bind himself to any contract； except the other party
be able to see his way clearly to constract himself with him。 I
donno if I make myself clear？
DUMONT。 No。
NOTARY。 Now； lemme tell you： by applying justice of peace might
possibly afford relief。
DUMONT。 But how？
NOTARY。 Ay； there's the rub。
DUMONT。 But what am I to do？ He's not my son； I tell you：
Charles is not my son。
NOTARY。 I know。
DUMONT。 Perhaps a glass of wine would clear him？
NOTARY。 That's what I want。 （THEY GO OUT； L。 U。 E。）
ALINE。 And now； if you've done deranging my table； to the cellar
for the wine； the whole pack of you。 （MANET SOLA； CONSIDERING
TABLE。） There： it's like a garden。 If I had as sweet a table
for my wedding； I would marry the Notary。
SCENE III
The Stage remains vacant。 Enter； by door L。 C。； MACAIRE；
followed by BERTRAND with bundle； in the traditional costume。
MACAIRE。 Good！ No police。
BERTRAND （LOOKING OFF； L。 C。）。 Sold again！
MACAIRE。 This is a favoured spot； Bertrand： ten minutes from
the frontier： ten minutes from escape。 Blessings on that
frontier line！ The criminal hops across； and lo！ the reputable
man。 （READING） 'AUBERGE DES ADRETS； by John Paul Dumont。' A
table set for company； this is fate： Bertrand； are we the first
arrivals？ An office； a cabinet； a cash…box … aha！ and a
cash…box； golden within。 A money…box is like a Quaker beauty：
demure without； but what a figure of a woman！ Outside gallery：
an architectural feature I approve； I count it a convenience both
for love and war： the troubadour … twang…twang； the craftsmen …
（MAKES AS IF TURNING KEY。） The kitchen window： humming with
cookery； truffles； before Jove！ I was born for truffles。 Cock
your hat： meat； wine； rest； and occupation； men to gull； women
to fool； and still the door open； the great unbolted door of the
frontier！
BERTRAND。 Macaire； I'm hungry。
MACAIRE。 Bertrand； excuse me； you are a sensualist。 I should
have left you in the stone…yard at Lyons； and written no
passport but my own。 Your soul is incorporate with your
stomach。 Am I not hungry； too？ My body； thanks to immortal
Jupiter； is but the boy that holds the kite…string； my
aspirations and designs swim like the ki