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nobody！ （EXCLAMATIONS。）
CURATE。 The situation is crepuscular。
ERNESTINE。 Father； and Mr。 Dumont （and you too； Charles）； I wish
to say one word。 You gave us leave to fall in love； we fell in
love； and as for me； my father； I will either marry Charles； or
die a maid。
CHARLES。 And you； sir； would you rob me in one day of both a
father and a wife？
DUMONT （WEEPING）。 Happy faces； happy faces！
GORIOT。 I know nothing about robbery； but she cannot marry
without my consent； and that she cannot get。
DUMONT。 O dear； O dear！ ｝
ALINE。 What spoil the wedding？ ｝ TOGETHER。
ERNESTINE。 O father！ ｝
CHARLES。 Sir； sir； you would not … ｝
GORIOT （EXASPERATED）。 I wun't； and what's more I shan't。
NOTARY。 I donno if I make myself clear？
DUMONT。 Goriot； do let's have happy faces！
GORIOT。 Fudge！ Fudge！！ Fudge！！！
CURATE。 Possibly on application to this conscientious jurist；
light may be obtained。
ALL。 The Notary； yes； yes； the Notary！
DUMONT。 Now； how about this marriage？
NOTARY。 Marriage is a contract； to which there are two
constracting parties； John Doe and Richard Roe。 I donno if I
make myself clear？
ALINE。 Poor lamb！
CURATE。 Silence； my friend； you will expose yourself to
misconstruction。
MACAIRE （TAKING THE STAGE）。 As an entire stranger in this
painful scene； will you permit a gentleman and a traveller to
interject one word？ There sits the young man； full； I am sure；
of pleasing qualities； here the young maiden； by her own
confession bashfully consenting to the match； there sits that
dear old gentleman； a lover of bright faces like myself； his own
now dimmed with sorrow； and here … （may I be allowed to add？） …
here sits this noble Roman； a father like myself； and like myself
the slave of duty。 Last you have me … Baron Henri…Frederic de
Latour de Main de la Tonnerre de Brest； the man of the world and
the man of delicacy。 I find you all … permit me the expression …
gravelled。 A marriage and an obstacle。 Now； what is marriage？
The union of two souls； and； wha is possibly more romantic； the
fusion of two dowries。 What is an obstacle？ the devil。 And
this obstacle？ to me； as a man of family； the obstacle seems
grave； but to me； as a man and a brother； what is it but a word？
O my friend （TO GORIOT）； you whom I single out as the victim of
the same noble failings with myself … of pride of birth； of pride
of honesty … O my friend； reflect。 Go now apart with your
dishevelled daughter； your tearful son…in…law； and let their
plaints constrain you。 Believe me； when you come to die； you
will recall with pride this amiable weakness。
GORIOT。 I shan't； and what's more I wun't。 （CHARLES AND
ERNESTINE LEAD HIM UP STAGE； PROTESTING。 ALL RISE； EXCEPT
NOTARY。）
DUMONT （FRONT R。； SHAKING HANDS WITH MACAIRE）。 Sir； you have a
noble nature。 （MACAIRE PICKS HIS POCKET。） Dear me； dear me； and
you are rich。
MACAIRE。 I own； sir； I deceived you： I feared some wounding
offer； and my pride replied。 But to be quite frank with you； you
behold me here； the Baron Henri…Frederic de Latour de Main de la
Tonnerre de Brest； and between my simple manhood and the infinite
these rags are all。
DUMONT。 Dear me； and with this noble pride； my gratitude is
useless。 For I； too； have delicacy： I understand you could not
stoop to take a gift。
MACAIRE。 A gift？ a small one？ never！
DUMONT。 And I will never wound you by the offer。
MACAIRE。 Bitten。 ｝
BERTRAND。 Sold again。 ｝ ASIDE。
GORIOT （TAKING THE STAGE）。 But； look'ee here； he can't marry。
MACAIRE。 Hey？ ｝
DUMONT。 Ah！ ｝
ALINE。 Hey day！ ｝
CURATE。 Wherefore？ ｝ TOGETHER。
ERNESTINE。 Oh！ ｝
CHARLES。 Ah！ ｝
GORIOT。 Not without his veyther's consent！ And he hasn't got
it； and what's more； he can't get it： and what's more； he
hasn't got a veyther to get it from。 It's the law of France。
ALINE。 Then the law of France ought to be ashamed of itself。
ERNESTINE。 O； couldn't we ask the Notary again？
CURATE。 Indubitably you may ask him。
MACAIRE。 Can't they marry？ ｝
DUMONT。 Can't he marry？ ｝
ALINE。 Can't she marry？ ｝ TOGETHER。
ERNESTINE。 Can't we marry？ ｝
CHARLES。 Can't I marry？ ｝
GORIOT。 Bain't I right？ ｝
NOTARY。 Constracting parties。
CURATE。 Possibly to…morrow at an early hour he may be more
perspicuous。
GORIOT。 Ay； before he've time to get at it。
NOTARY。 Unoffending jurisconsult overtaken by sorrow。 Possibly
by applying justice of peace might afford relief。
MACAIRE。 Bravo！ ｝
DUMONT。 Excellent！ ｝ TOGETHER。
CHARLES。 Let's go at once！ ｝
ALINE。 The very thing！ ｝
ERNESTINE。 Yes； this minute！
GORIOT。 I'll go。 I don't mind getting advice； but I wun't take
it。
MACAIRE。 My friends； one word： I perceive by your downcast
looks that you have not recognised the true nature of your
responsibility as citizens of time。 What is care？ impiety。
Joy？ the whole duty of man。 Here is an opportunity of duty it
were sinful to forego。 With a word； I could lighten your hearts；
but I prefer to quicken your heels； and send you forth on your
ingenuous errand with happy faces and smiling thoughts； the
physicians of your own recovery。 Fiddlers； to your catgut！ Up；
Bertrand； and show them how one foots it in society； forward；
girls； and choose me every one the lad she loves； Dumont； benign
old man； lead forth our blushing Curate； and you； O bride；
embrace the uniform of your beloved； and help us dance in your
wedding…day。 （DANCE； IN THE COURSE OF WHICH MACAIRE PICKS
DUMONT'S POCKET OF HIS KEYS； SELECTS THE KEY OF THE CASH…BOX； AND
RETURNS THE OTHERS TO HIS POCKET。 IN THE END； ALL DANCE OUT：
THE WEDDING…PARTY； HEADED BY FIDDLERS； L。 C； THE MAIDS AND ALINE
INTO THE INN； R。 U。 E。 MANET BERTRAND AND MACAIRE。）
SCENE VIII
MACAIRE； BERTRAND； who instantly takes a bottle from the
wedding…table； and sits with it； L。
MACAIRE。 Bertrand； there's a devil of a want of a father here。
BERTRAND。 Ay； if we only knew where to find him。
MACAIRE。 Bertrand； look at me： I am Macaire； I am that father。
BERTRAND。 You； Macaire？ you a father？
MACAIRE。 Not yet； but in five minutes。 I am capable of
anything。 （PRODUCING KEY。） What think you of this？
BERTRAND。 That？ Is it a key？
MACAIRE。 Ay； boy； and what besides？ my diploma of
respectability； my patent of fatherhood。 I prigged it … in the
ardour of the dance I prigged it； I change it beyond recognition；
thus （TWISTS THE HANDLE OF THE KEY）； and now 。 。 。？ Where is my
long…lost child？ produce my young policeman！ show me my gallant
boy！
BERTRAND。 I don't understand。
MACAIRE。 Dear innocence； how should you？ Your brains are in
your fists。 Go and keep watch。 （HE GOES INTO THE OFFICE AND
RETURNS WITH THE CASH…BOX。） Keep watch； I say。
BERTRAND。 Where？
MACAIRE。 Everywhere。 （HE OPENS BOX。）
BERTRAND。 Gold。
MACAIRE。 Hands off！ Keep watch。 （BERTRAND AT BACK OF STAGE。）
Beat slower； my paternal heart！ The third compartment； let me
see。
BERTRAND。 S'st！ （MACAIRE SHUTS BOX。） No； false alarm。
MACAIRE。 The third compartment。 Ay； here t…
BERTRAND。 S'st！ （SAME BUSINESS。） No： fire away。
MACAIRE。 The third compartment： it must be this。
BERTRAND。 S'st！ （MACAIRE； KEEPS BOX OPEN； WATCHING BERTRAND。）
All serene； it's the wind。
MACAIRE。 Now； see here！ （HE DARTS HIS KNIFE INTO THE STAGE。） I
will either be backed as a man should be； or from this minute out
I'll work alone。 Do you understand？ I said alone。
BERTRAND。 For the Lord's sake； Macaire！ …
MACAIRE。 Ay； here it is。 （READING LETTER）。 'Preserve this
letter secretly； its terms are known only to you and me： hence
when the time comes； I shall repeat them； and my son will
recognise his father。' Signed： 'Your Unknown Benefactor。' （HE
TURNS IT OVER TWICE AND REPLACES IT。 THEN； FINGERING THE GOLD）
Gold！ The yellow enchantress； happiness ready…made and laughing
in my face！ Gold： what is gold？ The world； the term of ills；
the empery of all； the multitudinous babble of the change； the
sailing from all ports of freighted argosies； music； wine； a
palace； the doors of the bright theatre； the key of consciences；
and love … love's whistle！ All this below my itching fingers；
and to set this by； turn a deaf ear upon the siren present； and
condescend once more； naked； into the ring with fortune …
Macaire； how few would do it！ But you； Macaire； you are
compacted of more subtile clay。 No cheap immediate pilfering：
no retail trade of petty larceny； but swoop at the heart of the
position； and clutch all！
BERTRAND （AT HIS SHOULDER）。 Halves！
MACAIRE。 Halves？ （HE LOCKS THE BOX。） Bertrand； I am a father。
（REPLACES BOX IN OFFICE。）
BERTRAND （LOOKING AFTER HIM）。 Well； I … am … damned！
DROP。
ACT II。
When the curtain rises； the night has come。 A hanging cluster of
lighted lamps over each table； R。 and L。 MACAIRE； R。； smoking a
cigarette； BERTRAND； L。； with a church…warden： each with bottle
and glas