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Garden。＇ What's about the figure？
JEAN。 It's paid for。 Ye can sweir to that。
HUNT。 Yes； my dear； and so is King George's crown； but I don't
know what it cost； and I don't know where the blunt came from to
pay for it。
JEAN。 I'm thinking ye'll be a vera clever gentleman。
HUNT。 So I am； my dear； and I like you none the worse for being
artful yourself。 But between friends now； and speaking as a
family man …
JEAN。 I'll be wishin' ye a fine nicht。 （CURTSIES AND GOES OUT。）
SCENE IV
HUNT （SOLUS）
HUNT。 Ah！ that's it； is it？ 'My fancy man's my 'ole delight；'
as we say in Bow Street。 But which IS the fancy man？ George the
Dock； or William the Deacon？ One or both？ （HE WINKS SOLEMNLY。）
Well； Jerry； my boy； here's your work cut out for you； but if you
took one…nine…five for that 'ere little two hundred you'd be a
disgrace to the profession。
TABLEAU III。 MOTHER CLARKE'S
SCENE I
The Stage represents a room of coarse and sordid appearance：
settles； spittoons； etc。； sanded floor。 A large table at back；
where AINSLIE； HAMILTON； and others are playing cards and
quarrelling。 In front； L。 and R。 smaller tables； at one of which
are BRODIE and MOORE； drinking。 MRS。 CLARKE and women serving。
MOORE。 You've got the devil's own luck； Deacon； that's what
you've got。
BRODIE。 Luck！ Don't talk of luck to a man like me！ Why not say
I've the devil's own judgment？ Men of my stamp don't risk … they
plan； Badger； they plan； and leave chance to such cattle as you
＇and Jingling Geordie。 They make opportunities before they take
them＇。
MOORE。 You're artful； ain't you？
BRODIE。 Should I be here else？ When I leave my house I leave an
ALIBI behind me。 I'm ill … ill with a jumping headache； and the
fiend's own temper。 I'm sick in bed this minute； and they're all
going about with the fear of death on them lest they should
disturb the poor sick Deacon。 ＇My bedroom door is barred and
bolted like the bank … you remember！ … and all the while the
window's open； and the Deacon's over the hills and far away。
What do you think of me？＇
MOORE。 I've seen your sort before； I have。
BRODIE。 Not you。 As for Leslie's …
MOORE。 That was a nick above you。
BRODIE。 Ay was it。 He wellnigh took me red…handed； and that was
better luck than I deserved。 If I'd not been drunk； and in my
tantrums； you'd never have got my hand within a thousand years of
such a job。
MOORE。 Why not？ You're the King of the Cracksmen； ain't you？
BRODIE。 Why not！ He asks me why not！ Gods； what a brain it is！
Hark ye； Badger； it's all very well to be King of the Cracksmen；
as you call it； but however respectable he may have the
misfortune to be； one's friend is one's friend； and as such must
be severely let alone。 What！ shall there be no more honour among
thieves than there is honesty among politicians？ Why； man； if
under heaven there were but one poor lock unpicked； and that the
lock of one whose claret you've drunk； and who has babbled of
woman across your own mahogany … that lock； sir； were entirely
sacred。 Sacred as the Kirk of Scotland； sacred as King George
upon his throne； sacred as the memory of Bruce and Bannockburn。
MOORE。 Oh； rot！ I ain't a parson； I ain't； I never had no
college education。 Business is business。 That's wot's the
matter with me。
BRODIE。 Ay； so we said when you lost that fight with Newcastle
Jemmy； and sent us all home poor men。 That was a nick above YOU。
MOORE。 Newcastle Jemmy！ Muck： that's my opinion of him： muck。
I'll mop the floor up with him any day； if so be as you or any on
'em 'll make it worth my while。 If not； muck！ That's my motto。
Wot I now ses is； about that 'ere crib at Leslie's； wos I right；
I ses？ or wos I wrong？ That's wot's the matter with you。
BRODIE。 You are both right and wrong。 You dared me to do it。 I
was drunk； I was upon my mettle； and I as good as did it。 More
than that； black…guardly as it was； I enjoyed the doing。 He is
my friend。 He had dined with me that day； and I felt like a man
in a story。 I climbed his wall； I crawled along his pantry roof；
I mounted his window…sill。 That one turn of my wrist … you know
it I … and the casement was open。 It was as dark as the pit； and
I thought I'd won my wager； when； phewt！ down went something
inside； and down went somebody with it。 I made one leap； and was
off like a rocket。 It was my poor friend in person； and if he'd
caught and passed me on to the watchman under the window； I
should have felt no viler rogue than I feel just now。
MOORE。 I s'pose he knows you pretty well by this time？
BRODIE。 'Tis the worst of friendship。 Here； Kirsty； fill these
glasses。 Moore； here's better luck … and a more honourable
plant！ … next time。
MOORE。 Deacon； I looks towards you。 But it looks thundering
like rotten eggs； don't it？
BRODIE。 I think not。 I was masked； for one thing； and for
another I was as quick as lightning。 He suspects me so little
that he dined with me this very afternoon。
MOORE。 Anyway； you ain't game to try it on again； I'll lay odds
on that。 Once bit； twice shy。 That's your motto。
BRODIE。 Right again。 I'll put my ALIBI to a better use。 And；
Badger； one word in your ear： there's no Newcastle Jemmy about
ME。 Drop the subject； and for good； or I shall drop you。 （HE
RISES； AND WALKS BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS； A LITTLE UNSTEADILY。
THEN RETURNS； AND SITS L。； AS BEFORE。）
SCENE II
To these； HUNT； disguised He is disguised as a 'flying stationer'
with a patch over his eye。 He sits at table opposite BRODIE'S
and is served with bread and cheese and beer。
HAMILTON （FROM BEHIND）。 The deevil tak' the cairts！
AINSLIE。 Hoot； man； dinna blame the cairts。
MOORE。 Look here； Deacon； I mean business； I do。 （HUNT LOOKS UP
AT THE NAME OF 'DEACON。'）
BRODIE。 Gad； Badger； I never meet you that you do not。 ＇You
have a set of the most commercial intentions！＇ You make me
blush。
MOORE。 That's all blazing fine； that is！ But wot I ses is； wot
about the chips？ That's what I ses。 I'm after that thundering
old Excise Office； I am。 That's my motto。
BRODIE。 'Tis a very good motto； and at your lips； Badger； it
kind of warms my heart。 But it's not mine。
MOORE。 Muck！ why not？
BRODIE。 'Tis too big and too dangerous。 I shirk King George； he
has a fat pocket； but he has a long arm。 ＇You pilfer sixpence
from him； and it's three hundred reward for you； and a hue and
cry from Tophet to the stars。＇ It ceases to be business； it
turns politics； and I'm not a politician； Mr。 Moore。 （RISING。）
I'm only Deacon Brodie。
MOORE。 All right。 I can wait。
BRODIE （SEEING HUNT）。 Ha； a new face； … and with a patch！
＇There's nothing under heaven I like so dearly as a new face with
a patch。＇ Who the devil； sir； are you that own it？ And where
did you get it？ And how much will you take for it second…hand？
HUNT。 Well； sir； to tell you the truth （BRODIE BOWS） it's not
for sale。 But it's my own； and I'll drink your honour's health
in anything。 BRODIE。 An Englishman； too！ Badger； behold a
countryman。 What are you； and what part of southern Scotland do
you come from？
HUNT。 Well； your honour； to tell you the honest truth …
＇BRODIE （BOWING）。 Your obleeged！＇
HUNT。 I knows a gentleman when I sees him； your honour ＇and； to
tell your honour the truth …
BRODIE。 JE VOUS BAISE LES MAINS！ （BOWING。）＇
HUNT。 A gentleman as is a gentleman； your honour ＇is always a
gentleman； and to tell you the honest truth＇ …
BRODIE。 Great heavens！ answer in three words； and be hanged to
you！ What are you； and where are you from？
HUNT。 A patter…cove from Seven Dials。
BRODIE。 Is it possible？ All my life long have I been pining to
meet with a patter…cove from Seven Dials！ Embrace me； at a
distance。 ＇A patter…cove from Seven Dials！＇ Go； fill yourself
as drunk as you dare； at my expense。 Anything he likes； Mrs。
Clarke。 He's a patter…cove from Seven Dials。 Hillo！ what's all
this？
AINSLIE。 Dod； I'm for nae mair！ （AT BACK； AND RISING。）
PLAYERS。 Sit down； Ainslie。 … Sit down； Andra。 … Ma revenge！
AINSLIE。 Na； na； I'm for canny goin'。 （COMING FORWARD WITH
BOTTLE。） Deacon； let's see your gless。
BRODIE。 Not an inch of it。
MOORE。 No rotten shirking； Deacon！
＇AINSLIE。 I'm sayin'； man； let's see your gless。
BRODIE。 Go to the deuce！＇
AINSLIE。 But I'm sayin' …
BRODIE。 Haven't I to play to…night？
AINSLIE。 But； man； ye'll drink to bonnie Jean Watt？
BRODIE。 Ay； I'll follow you there。 A LA REINE DE MES AMOURS！
（DRINKS。） What fiend put this in your way； you hound？ You've
filled me with raw stuff。 By the muckle deil！ …
MOORE。 Don't hit him； Deacon； tell his mother。
HUNT （ASIDE）。 Oho！
SCENE III
To these； SMITH； RIVERS
SMITH。 Where's my beloved？ Deakin； my beauty； where are you？
Come to the arms of George； and let him introduce you。 Capting
Starlight Rivers！ Capting； the Deakin： Deakin； the Capting。 An
English nobleman on the grand tour； to open his mind； by the
Lard！
RIVERS。 Stupendiously pleased to make your acquaintance； Mr。
Deakin； split me！
＇BRODIE。