友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
九色书籍 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

the man who was afraid-第27章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!




His conduct at the funeral feast for his father became known to all the merchants and gave him a bad reputation。 On the Exchange; he noticed; everybody looked at him sneeringly; malevolently; and spoke to him in some peculiar way。 One day he heard behind him a low exclamation; full of contempt:

〃Gordyeeff! Milksop!〃

He felt that this was said of him; but he did not turn around to see who it was that flung those words at him。 The rich people; who had inspired him with timidity before; were now losing in his eyes the witchery of their wealth and wisdom。 They had more than once snatched out of his hands this or that profitable contract; he clearly saw that they would do it again; and they all seemed to him alike greedy for money; always ready to cheat one another。 When he imparted to his godfather his observation; the old man said:

〃How then? Business is just the same as wara hazardous affair。 There they fight for the purse; and in the purse is the soul。〃

〃I don't like this;〃 announced Foma。

〃Neither do I like everythingthere's too much fraud。

But to be fair in business matters is utterly impossible; you must be shrewd! In business; dear; on approaching a man you must hold honey in your left hand; and clutch a knife in your right。 Everybody would like to buy five copecks' worth for a half a copeck。〃

〃Well; this isn't too good;〃 said Foma; thoughtfully。 〃But it will be good later。 When you have taken the upper hand; then it will be good。 Life; dear Foma; is very simple: either bite everybody; or lie in the gutter。

The old man smiled; and the broken teeth in his mouth roused in Foma the keen thought:

〃You have bitten many; it seems。〃

〃There's but one wordbattle!〃 repeated the old man。

〃Is this the real one?〃 asked Foma; looking at Mayakin searchingly。

〃That is; what do you meanthe real?〃

〃Is there nothing better than this? Does this contain everything?〃

〃Where else should it be? Everybody lives for himself。 Each of us wishes the best for himself。 And what is the best? To go in front of others; to stand above them。 So that everybody is trying to attain the first place in lifeone by this means; another by that means。 But everyone is positively anxious to be seen from afar; like a tower。 And man was indeed appointed to go upward。 Even the Book of Job says: 'Man is born unto trouble; as the sparks; to fly upward。' Just see: even children at play always wish to surpass one another。 And each and every game has its climax; which makes it interesting。 Do you understand?〃

〃I understand this!〃 said Foma; firmly and confidently。

〃But you must also feel this。 With understanding alone you cannot go far; and you must desire; and desire so that a big mountain should seem to you but a hillock; and the sea but a puddle。 Eh! When I was of your age I had an easy life; while you are only taking aim。 But then; good fruit does not ripen early。〃

The old man's monotonous speeches soon accomplished what they were intended to do。 Foma listened to them and made clear to himself the aim of life。 He must be better than others; he resolved; and the ambition; kindled by the old man; took deep root in his heart。 It took root within his heart; but did not fill it up; for Foma's relations toward Medinskaya assumed that character; which they were bound to assume。 He longed for her; he always yearned to see her; while in her presence he became timid; awkward and stupid; he knew it and suffered on this account。 He frequently visited her; but it was hard to find her at home alone; perfumed dandies like flies over a piece of sugarwere always flitting about her。 They spoke to her in French; sang and laughed; while he looked at them in silence; tortured by anger and jealousy。 His legs crossed; he sat somewhere in a corner of her richly furnished drawing…room; where it was extremely difficult to walk without overturning or at least striking against somethingFoma sat and watched them sternly。

Over the soft rugs she was noiselessly passing hither and thither; casting to him kind glances and smiles; while her admirers were fawning upon her; and they all; like serpents; were cleverly gliding by the various little tables; chairs; screens; flower…standsa storehouse full of beautiful and frail things; scattered about the room with a carelessness equally dangerous to them and to Foma。 But when he walked there; the rugs did not drown his footsteps; and all these things caught at his coat; trembled and fell。 Beside the piano stood a sailor made of bronze; whose hand was lifted; ready to throw the life…saving ring; on this ring were ropes of wire; and these always pulled Foma by the hair。 All this provoked laughter among Sophya Pavlovna and her admirers; and Foma suffered greatly; changing from heat to cold。

But he felt no less uncomfortable even when alone with her。 Greeting him with a kindly smile; she would take a seat beside him in one of the cosy corners of her drawing…room and would usually start her conversation by complaining to him of everybody:

〃You wouldn't believe how glad I am to see you!〃 Bending like a cat; she would gaze into his eyes with her dark glance; in which something avidious would now flash up。

〃I love to speak to you;〃 she said; musically drawling her words。 〃I've grown tired of all the rest of them。 They're all so boring; ordinary and worn…out; while you are fresh; sincere。 You don't like those people either; do you?〃

〃I can't bear them!〃 replied Foma; firmly。

〃And me?〃 she asked softly。

Foma turned his eyes away from her and said; with a sigh:

〃How many times have you asked me that?〃

〃Is it hard for you to tell me?〃

〃It isn't hard; but what for?〃

〃I must know it。〃

〃You are making sport of me;〃 said Foma; sternly。 And she opened her eyes wide and inquired in a tone of great astonishment:

〃How do I make sport of you? What does it mean to make sport?〃

And her face looked so angelic that he could not help believing her。

〃I love you! I love you! It is impossible not to love you!〃 said he hotly; and immediately added sadly; lowering his voice: 〃But you don't need it!〃

〃There you have it!〃 sighed Medinskaya; satisfied; drawing back from him。 〃I am always extremely pleased to hear you say this; with so much youthfulness and originality。 Would you like to kiss my hand?〃

Without saying a word he seized her thin; white little hand and carefully bending down to it; he passionately kissed it for a long time。 Smiling and graceful; not in the least moved by his passion; she freed her hand from his。 Pensively; she looked at him with that strange glitter in her eyes; which always confused Foma; she examined him as something rare and extremely curious; and said:

〃How much strength and power and freshness of soul you possess! Do you know? You merchants are an altogether new race; an entire race with original traditions; with an enormous energy of body and soul。 Take you; for instanceyou are a precious stone; and you should be polished。 Oh!〃

Whenever she told him: 〃You;〃 or 〃according to your merchant fashion;〃 it seemed to Foma that she was pushing him away from her with these words。 This at once saddened and offended him。 He was silent; looking at her small maidenly figure; which was always somehow particularly well dressed; always sweet…scented like a flower。 Sometimes he was seized with a wild; coarse desire to embrace and kiss her。 But her beauty and the fragility of her thin; supple body awakened in him a fear of breaking and disfiguring her; and her calm; caressing voice and the clear; but somewhat cautious look of her eyes chilled his passion; it seemed to him as though she were looking straight into his soul; divining all his thoughts。 But these bursts of emotion were rare。 Generally the youth regarded Medinskaya with adoration; admiring everything in herher beauty; her words; her dresses。 And beside this adoration there was in him a painfully keen consciousness of his remoteness from her; of her supremacy over him。

These relations were established between them within a short time; after two or three meetings Medinskaya was in full possession of the youth and she slowly began to torture him。 Evidently she liked to have a healthy; strong youth at her mercy; she liked to rouse and tame the animal in him merely with her voice and glance; and confident of the power of her superiority; she found pleasure in thus playing with him。 On leaving her; he was usually half…sick from excitement; bearing her a grudge; angry with himself; filled with many painful and intoxicating sensations。 And about two days later he would come to undergo the same torture again。

One day he asked her timidly:

〃Sophya Pavlovna! Have you ever had any children?〃

〃No。〃

〃I thought not!〃 exclaimed Foma with delight。

She cast at him the look of a very naive little girl; and said:

〃What made you think so? And why do you want to know whether I had any children or not?〃

Foma blushed; and; bending his head; began to speak to her in a heavy voice; as though he was lifting every word from the ground and as though each word weighed a few puds。

〃You seea woman whohas given birth to childrensuch a woman has altogether different eyes。〃

〃So? What kind are they then?〃

〃Shameless!〃 Foma bl
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 1
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!