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memoirs of carwin the biloquist(卡尔维恩)-第17章

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these regions; but water; except in that spot where the transverse parallels 

of the southern tropic and the 150th degree east longitude intersect each 

other。    On   this   spot   were   Ludlow's   islands   placed;   though   without   any 

name or inscription whatever。 

     I needed not to be told that this spot had never been explored by any 

European   voyager;   who   had   published   his   adventures。          What   authority 

had Ludlow for fixing a habitable land in this spot?               and why did he give 

us nothing but the courses of shores and rivers; and the scite of towns and 

villages; without a name? 

     As    soon   as   Ludlow     had   set  out   upon   his   proposed     journey    of  a 

fortnight;   I   unlocked   his   closet;   and   continued   rummaging   among   these 

books and maps till night。         By that time I had turned over every book and 



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almost every leaf in this small collection; and did not open the closet again 

till near  the   end   of   that   period。   Meanwhile   I   had   many  reflections   upon 

this remarkable circumstance。 Could Ludlow have intended that I should 

see this atlas?      It was the only book that could be styled a manuscript on 

these shelves; and it was placed beneath several others; in a situation far 

from   being      obvious     and   forward     to  the  eye   or   the  hand。    Was      it  an 

oversight in him to leave it in my way; or could he have intended to lead 

my   curiosity   and   knowledge   a   little   farther   onward   by   this   accidental 

disclosure?       In   either   case how   was   I   to   regulate   my  future   deportment 

toward   him?       Was   I   to   speak   and   act   as   if   this   atlas   had   escaped   my 

attention or not?        I  had already;  after  my  first examination   of it;  placed 

the volume exactly where I found it。              On every supposition I thought this 

was the safest way; and unlocked the closet a second time; to see that all 

was   precisely   in   the   original   order。   。   。   。   。 How   was   I   dismayed   and 

confounded on inspecting the shelves to perceive that the atlas was gone。 

This was a theft; which; from the closet being under lock and key; and the 

key   always   in   my   own   pocket;   and   which;   from   the   very   nature   of   the 

thing   stolen;   could   not   be   imputed   to   any  of   the   domestics。 After   a   few 

moments a suspicion occurred; which was soon changed intO certainty by 

applying      to  the   housekeeper;      who    told   me   that   Ludlow     had   returned; 

apparently in much haste; the evening of the day on which he had set out 

upon his journey; and just after I had left the house; that he had gone into 

the room where this closet of books was; and; after a few minutes' stay; 

came   out   again   and   went   away。        She   told   me   also;   that   he   had   made 

general enquiries   after me;  to which   she   had answered;  that she   had   not 

seen   me   during   the   day;   and   supposed   that   I   had   spent   the   whole   of   it 

abroad。      From this account it was plain; that Ludlow had returned for no 

other purpose but to remove this book out of my reach。                      But if he had a 

double key to this door; what should hinder his having access; by the same 

means; to every other locked up place in the house? 

     This suggestion made me start with terror。               Of so obvious a means for 

possessing a knowledge of every thing under his roof; I had never been till 

this moment   aware。         Such is   the infatuation   which lays   our most secret 



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thoughts open   to the   world's   scrutiny。 We   are   frequently  in   most   danger 

when we deem ourselves most safe; and our fortress is taken sometimes 

through a point; whose weakness nothing; it should seem; but the blindest 

stupidity could overlook。 

     My   terrors;   indeed;   quickly   subsided   when   I   came   to   recollect   that 

there was nothing in any closet or cabinet of mine which could possibly 

throw light upon subjects which I desired to keep in the dark。                    The more 

carefully   I   inspected   my   own   drawers;   and   the   more   I   reflected   on   the 

character of Ludlow; as I had known it; the less reason did there appear in 

my   suspicions;   but   I   drew   a   lesson   of   caution   from   this   circumstance; 

which contributed to my future safety。 

     From this incident I could not but infer Ludlow's unwillingness to let 

me   so   far   into   his   geographical   secret;   as   well   as   the   certainty   of   that 

suspicion;     which     had   very   early   been   suggested     to  my    thoughts;    that 

Ludlow's      plans   of   civilization   had   been    carried   into   practice   in  some 

unvisited   corner   of   the   world。   It   was   strange;   however;   that   he   should 

betray himself by such an inadvertency。               One who talked so confidently 

of his own powers; to unveil any secret of mine; and; at the same time; to 

conceal his own transactions; had surely committed an unpardonable error 

in   leaving   this   important   document   in   my   way。      My   reverence;   indeed; 

for   Ludlow   was   such;   that   I   sometimes   entertained   the   notion   that   this 

seeming oversight was; in truth; a regular contrivance to supply me with a 

knowledge; of which; when I came maturely to reflect; it was impossible 

for me to make any ill use。          There is no use in relating what would not be 

believed; and should I publish to the world the existence of islands in the 

space   allotted   by   Ludlow's   maps   to   these   ~incognitae~;   what   would   the 

world answer? That whether the space described was sea or land was of no 

importance。       That the moral and political condition of its inhabitants was 

the    only   topic   worthy     of  rational    curiosity。    Since    I  had    gained    no 

information upon this point; since I had nothing to disclose but vain and 

fantastic surmises; I might as well be ignorant of every thing。                 Thus; from 

secretly     condemning        Ludlow's       imprudence;       I  gradually      passed     to 

admiration   of   his   policy。     This    discovery   had   no     other   effect   than   to 



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stimulate my curiosity; to keep up my zeal to prosecute the journey I had 

commenced under his auspices。 

     I   had   hitherto   formed   a   resolution   to   stop   where   I   was   in   Ludlow's 

confidence:        to wait till the success should be ascertained of my projects 

with   respect   to   Mrs。   Benington;   before   I   made   any   new   advance   in   the 

perilous and mysterious road into which he had led my steps。                      But; before 

this tedious fortnight had elapsed; I was grown extremely impatient for an 

interview;   and   had   nearly   resolved   to   undertake   whatever   obligation   he 

should lay upon me。 

     This     obligation     was    indeed     a   heavy    one;    since    it  included     the 

confession of my vocal powers。                In itself the confession was little。            To 

possess   this   faculty   was   neither   laudable   nor   culpable;   nor   had   it   been 

exercised in a way which I should be very much ashamed to acknowledge。 

It   had   led   me   into   many   insincerities   and   artifices;   which;   though   not 

justifiable   by   any   creed;   was   entitled   to   some   excuse;   on   the   score   of 

youthful   ardour   and   temerity。         The   true   difficulty   in   the   way   of   these 

confessions   was   the   not   having   made   them   already。           Ludlow   had   long 

been entitled to this confidence; and; though the existence of this power 

was   venial   or   wholly   innocent;   the   obstinate   concealment   of   it   was   a 

different matter; and would certainly expose me to suspicion and rebuke。 

But   what   was   the   alternative?       To   conceal   it。    To   incur   those   dreadful 

punishments         awarded      against     treason    in   this   particular。      Ludlow's 

menaces still rung in my ears; and appalled my heart。                      How should I be 

able to shun them?          By concealing from every one what I concealed from 

him?      How   was   my   concealment   of   such   a   faculty   to   be   suspected   or 

proved?       Unless I betrayed myself; who could betray 
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