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〃Carroll！〃 he said。
She looked up at him； and shrank back。
〃No； no！ You mustn't；〃 she cried。 She did not pretend to
misunderstand。 The preliminaries seemed in some mysterious fashion
to have been said long ago。
〃It's life or death with me；〃 he said。
〃I must not；〃 she cried； fluttering like a bird。 〃I promised myself
long ago that I must always； ALWAYS take care of mother。〃
〃Please； please； dear；〃 pleaded Orde。 He had nothing more to say
than this； just the simple incoherent symbols of pleading； but in
such crises it is rather the soul than the tongue that speaks。 His
hand met hers and closed about it。 It did not respond to his grasp；
nor did it draw away； but lay limp and warm and helpless in his own。
She shook her head slowly。
〃Don't you care for me； dear？〃 asked Orde very gently。
〃I have no right to tell you that；〃 answered she。 〃I have tried；
oh； so hard； to keep you from saying this； for I knew I had no right
to hear you。〃
Orde's heart leaped with a wild exultation。
〃You do care for me！〃 he cried。
They had mounted the steps and stood just within the vestibule。
Orde drew her toward him； but she repulsed him gently。
〃No；〃 she shook her head。 〃Please be very good to me。 I'm very
weak。〃
〃Carroll！〃 cried Orde。 〃Tell me that you love me！ Tell me that
you'll marry me！〃
〃It would kill mother if I should leave her；〃 she said sadly。
〃But you must marry me； pleaded Orde。 〃We are made for each other。
God meant us for each other。〃
〃It would have to be after a great many years；〃 she said doubtfully。
She pulled the bell； which jangled faintly in the depths of the
house。
〃Good…night；〃 she said。 〃Come to me to…morrow。 No； you must not
come in。〃 She cut short Orde's insistence and the eloquence that
had just found its life by slipping inside the half…open door and
closing it after her。
Orde stood for a moment uncertain； then turned away and walked up
the street； his eyes so blinded by the greater glory that he all but
ran down an inoffensive passer…by。
At the hotel he wrote a long letter to his mother。 The first part
was full of the exultation of his discovery。 He told of his good
fortune quite as something just born； utterly forgetting his
mother's predictions before he came East。 Then as the first
effervescence died； a more gloomy view of the situation came
uppermost。 To his heated imagination the deadlock seemed complete。
Carroll's devotion to what she considered her duty appeared
unbreakable。 In the reaction Orde doubted whether he would have it
otherwise。 And then his fighting blood surged back to his heart。
All the eloquence； the arguments； the pleadings he should have
commanded earlier in the evening hurried belated to their posts。
After the manner of the young and imaginative when in the white fire
of emotion； he began dramatising scenes between Carroll and himself。
He saw them plainly。 He heard the sound of his own voice as he
rehearsed the arguments which should break her resolution。 A
woman's duty to her own soul； her obligation toward the man she
could make or mar by her love； her self…respect； the necessity of a
break some time； the advantage of having the crisis over with now
rather than later； a belief in the ultimate good even to Mrs。 Bishop
of throwing that lady more on her own resources； and so forth and so
on down a list of arguments obvious enough or trivial enough； but
all inspired by the soul of fervour； all ennobled by the spirit of
truth that lies back of the major premise that a woman should cleave
to a man； forsaking all others。 Orde sat back in his chair； his
eyes vacant； his pen all but falling from his hand。 He did not
finish the letter to his mother。 After a while he went upstairs to
his own room。
The fever of the argument coursed through his veins all that long
night。 Over and over again he rehearsed it in wearisome repetition
until it had assumed a certain and almost invariable form。 And when
he had reached the end of his pleading he began it over again； until
the daylight found him weary and fevered。 He arose and dressed
himself。 He could eat no breakfast。 By a tremendous effort of the
will he restrained himself from going over to Ninth Street until the
middle of the morning。
He entered the drawing…room to find her seated at the piano。 His
heart bounded； and for an instant he stood still； summoning his
forces to the struggle for which he had so painfully gathered his
ammunition。 She did not look up as he approached until he stood
almost at her shoulder。 Then she turned to him and held out both
her hands。
〃It is no use； Jack；〃 she said。 〃I care for you too much。 I will
marry you whenever you say。〃
XIX
Orde left that evening early。 This was at Carroll's request。 She
preferred herself to inform her family of the news。
〃I don't know yet how mother is going to get along；〃 said she。
〃Come back to…morrow afternoon and see them all。〃
The next morning Orde； having at last finished and despatched the
letter to his mother； drifted up the avenue and into the club。 As
he passed the smoking room he caught sight of Gerald seated in an
armchair by the window。 He entered the room and took a seat
opposite the young fellow。
Gerald held out his hand silently； which the other took。
〃I'm glad to hear it；〃 said Gerald at last。 〃Very glad。 I told you
I was on your side。〃 He hesitated； then went on gravely： 〃Poor
Carroll is having a hard time； though。 I think it's worse than she
expected。 It's no worse than I expected。 You are to be one of the
family； so I am going to give you a piece of advice。 It's
something； naturally； I wouldn't speak of otherwise。 But Carroll is
my only sister； and I want her to be happy。 I think you are the man
to make her so； but I want you to avoid one mistake。 Fight it out
right now； and never give back the ground you win。〃
〃I feel that；〃 replied Orde quietly。
〃Mother made father resign from the army； and while he's a dear old
boy； he's never done anything since。 She holds mealthough I see
through herpossibly because I'm weak or indifferent； possibly
because I have a silly idea I can make a bad situation better by
hanging around。 She is rapidly turning Kendrick into a sullen
little prig； because he believes implicitly all the grievances
against the world and the individual she pours out to him。 You see；
I have no illusions concerning my family。 Only Carroll has held to
her freedom of soul； because that's the joyous； free； sweet nature
of her； bless her！ For the first time she's pitted her will against
mother's； and it's a bad clash。〃
〃Your mother objected？〃 asked Orde。
Gerald laughed a little bitterly。 〃It was very bad；〃 said he。
〃You've grown horns； hoofs； and a tail overnight。 There's nothing
too criminal to have escaped your notice。 I have been forbidden to
consort with you。 So has the general。 The battle of last night had
to do with your coming to the house at all。 As it is not Carroll's
house； naturally she has no right to insist。〃
〃I shall not be permitted to see her？〃 cried Orde。
〃I did not say that。 Carroll announced then quite openly that she
would see you outside。 I fancy that was the crux of the matter。
Don't you see？ The whole affair shifted ground。 Carroll has
offered direct disobedience。 Oh； she's a bully little fighter！〃 he
finished in admiring accents。 〃You can't quite realise what she's
doing for your sake； she's not only fighting mother； but her own
heart。〃
Orde found a note at the hotel； asking him to be in Washington
Square at half…past two。
Carroll met him with a bright smile。
〃Things aren't quite right at home；〃 she said。 〃It is a great shock
to poor mother at first； and she feels very strongly。 Oh； it isn't
you； dear； it's the notion that I can care for anybody but her。 You
see； she's been used to the other idea so long that I suppose it
seemed a part of the universe to her。 She'll get used to it after a
little； but it takes time。〃
Orde examined her face anxiously。 Two bright red spots burned on
her cheeks； her eyes flashed with a nervous animation； and a faint
shade had sketched itself beneath them。
〃You had a hard time；〃 he murmured； 〃you poor dear！〃
She smiled up at him。
〃We have to pay for the good things in life； don't we； dear？ And
they are worth it。 Things will come right after a little。 We must
not be too impatient。 Now； let's enjoy the day。 The park isn't so
bad； is it？〃
At five o'clock Orde took her back to her doorstep； where he left
her。
This went on for several days。
At the end of that time Orde could not conceal from himself that the
strain was beginning