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writing。 His interest was mainly theoretical； and when he wrote or spoke
on the subject his remarks were not likely to be testimonials in its
favor。 His own theory was that the alphabet needed reform； first of all；
so that each letter or character should have one sound； and one sound
only； and he offered as a solution of this an adaptation of shorthand。
He wrote and dictated in favor of this idea to the end of his life。 Once
he said：
〃Our alphabet is pure insanity。 It can hardly spell any large word in
the English language with any degree of certainty。 Its sillinesses are
quite beyond enumeration。 English orthography may need reforming and
simplifying； but the English alphabet needs it a good many times as
much。〃
He would naturally favor simplicity in anything。 I remember him reading；
as an example of beautiful English； The Death of King Arthur； by Sir
Thomas Malory； and his verdict：
〃That is one of the most beautiful things ever written in English； and
written when we had no vocabulary。〃
〃A vocabulary； then； is sometimes a handicap？〃
〃It is indeed。〃
Still I think it was never a handicap with him； but rather the plumage of
flight。 Sometimes； when just the right word did not come； he would turn
his head a little at different angles； as if looking about him for the
precise term。 He would find it directly； and it was invariably the word
needed。 Most writers employ； now and again； phrases that do not sharply
present the ideathat blur the picture like a poor opera…glass。 Mark
Twain's English always focused exactly。
CCXLVIII
〃WHAT IS MAN？〃 AND THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY
Clemens decided to publish anonymously； or； rather； to print privately；
the Gospel； which he had written in Vienna some eight years before and
added to from time to time。 He arranged with Frank Doubleday to take
charge of the matter； and the De Vinne Press was engaged to do the work。
The book was copyrighted in the name of J。 W。 Bothwell； the
superintendent of the De Vinne company； and two hundred and fifty
numbered copies were printed on hand…made paper； to be gradually
distributed to intimate friends。 ＇In an introductory word （dated
February； 1905） the author states that the studies for these papers had
been made twenty…five or twenty…seven years before。 He probably referred
to the Monday Evening Club essay； 〃What Is Happiness？〃 （February； 1883）。
See chap。 cxli。＇ A number of the books were sent to newspaper
reviewers； and so effectually had he concealed the personality of his
work that no critic seems to have suspected the book's authorship。 It
was not over…favorably received。 It was generally characterized as a
clever； and even brilliant； expose of philosophies which were no longer
startlingly new。 The supremacy of self…interest and 〃man the
irresponsible machine〃 are the main features of 'What Is Man' and both of
these and all the rest are comprehended in his wider and more absolute
doctrine of that inevitable life…sequence which began with the first
created spark。 There can be no training of the ideals； 〃upward and still
upward；〃 no selfishness and unselfishness； no atom of voluntary effort
within the boundaries of that conclusion。 Once admitting the postulate；
that existence is merely a sequence of cause and effect beginning with
the primal atom； and we have a theory that must stand or fall as a whole。
We cannot say that man is a creature of circumstance and then leave him
free to select his circumstance； even in the minutest fractional degree。
It was selected for him with his disposition； in that first instant of
created life。 Clemens himself repeatedly emphasized this doctrine； and
once； when it was suggested to him that it seemed to 〃surround every
thing； like the sky；〃 he answered：
〃Yes； like the sky； you can't break through anywhere。〃
Colonel Harvey came to Dublin that summer and persuaded Clemens to let
him print some selections from the dictations in the new volume of the
North American Review； which he proposed to issue fortnightly。 The
matter was discussed a good deal； and it was believed that one hundred
thousand words could be selected which would be usable forthwith； as well
as in that long…deferred period for which it was planned。 Colonel Harvey
agreed to take a copy of the dictated matter and make the selections
himself； and this plan was carried out。 It may be said that most of the
chapters were delightful enough； though； had it been possible to edit
them with the more positive documents as a guide； certain complications
might have been avoided。 It does not matter now； and it was not a matter
of very wide import then。
The payment of these chapters netted Clemens thirty thousand dollarsa
comfortable sum； which he promptly proposed to spend in building on the
property at Redding。 He engaged John Mead Howells to prepare some
preliminary plans。
Clara Clemens； at Norfolk； was written to of the matter。
A little later I joined her in Redding； and she was the first of the
family to see that beautiful hilltop。 She was well pleased with the
situation； and that day selected the spot where the house should stand。
Clemens wrote Howells that he proposed to call it 〃Autobiography House；〃
as it was to be built out of the Review money； and he said：
〃If you will build on my farm and live there it will set Mrs。 Howells's
health up for sure。 Come and I'll sell you the site for twenty…five
dollars。 John will tell you it is a choice place。〃
The unusual summer was near its close。 In my notebook； under date of
September 16th； appears this entry：
Windy in valleys but not cold。 This veranda is protected。 It is
peaceful here and perfect； but we are at the summer's end。
This is my last entry； and the dictations must have ceased a few days
later。 I do not remember the date of the return to New York； and
apparently I made no record of it； but I do not think it could have been
later than the 20th。 It had been four months since the day of arrival； a
long； marvelous summer such as I would hardly know again。 When I think
of that time I shall always hear the ceaseless slippered； shuffling walk；
and see the white figure with its rocking； rolling movement passing up
and down the long gallery； with that preternaturally beautiful landscape
behind； and I shall hear his deliberate speechalways deliberate； save
at rare intervals； always impressive； whatever the subject might be；
whether recalling some old absurdity of youth； or denouncing orthodox
creeds； or detailing the shortcomings of human…kind。
CCXLIX
BILLIARDS
The return to New York marked the beginning of a new era in my relations
with Mark Twain。 I have not meant to convey up to this time that there
was between us anything resembling a personal friendship。 Our relations
were friendly； certainly； but they were relations of convenience and
mainly of a business； or at least of a literary nature。 He was twenty…
six years my senior； and the discrepancy of experience and attainments
was not measurable。 With such conditions friendship must be a deliberate
growth； something there must be to bridge the dividing gulf。 Truth
requires the confession that； in this case； the bridge took a very solid；
material form； it being； in fact； nothing less than a billiard…table。
＇Clemens had been without a billiard…table since 1891； the old one having
been disposed of on the departure from Hartford。＇
It was a present from Mrs。 Henry H。 Rogers； and had been intended for
his Christmas； but when he heard of it he could not wait； and suggested
delicately that if he had it 〃right now〃 he could begin using it sooner。
So he went one day with Mr。 Rogers to the Balke…Collender Company； and
they selected a handsome combination table suitable to all gamesthe
best that money could buy。 He was greatly excited over the prospect； and
his former bedroom was carefully measured； to be certain that it was
large enough for billiard purposes。 Then his bed was moved into the
study； and the bookcases and certain appropriate pictures were placed and
hung in the billiard…room to give it the proper feeling。
The billiard…table arrived and was put in place； the brilliant green
cloth in contrast with the rich red wallpaper and the bookbindings and
pictures making the room wonderfully handsome and inviting。
Meantime； Clemens； with one of his sudden impulses； had conceived the
notion of spending the winter in Egypt； on the Nile。 He had gone so far；
within a few hours after the idea developed； as to plan the time of his
departure； and to partially engage a traveling secretary； so that he
might continue his dictations。 He was quite full of the idea just at the
moment when the billiard table was being installed。 He had sent for a
book on the subjectthe letters of Lady Duff…Gordon； whose daughter；
Janet Ross； had become a dear friend in Florence during the Viviani days。
He spoke of this new purpose on the morning when we renewed the New York
dictations； a month or more following the return from Dublin。 When the
dictation ended he said：
〃Have you any special place to lunch to…day？〃
I replied that I had