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〃That's a nice way to speak of your great…grandmother；〃 said Felicity severely。
〃How does The Family Guide say you ought to speak of your great… grandma； sweet one？〃 asked Dan。
〃There is one thing about it that puzzles me；〃 remarked Cecily。 〃She calls herself a GRATEFUL widow。 Now； what was she grateful for？〃
〃Because she was rid of him at last；〃 said graceless Dan。
〃Oh； it couldn't have been that；〃 protested Cecily seriously。 〃I've always heard that Great…Grandfather and Great…Grandmother were very much attached to each other。〃
〃Maybe； then； it means she was grateful that she'd had him as long as she did；〃 suggested Peter。
〃She was grateful to him because he had been so kind to her in life； I think；〃 said Felicity。
〃What is a 'distressed relict'？〃 asked Felix。
〃'Relict' is a word I hate；〃 said the Story Girl。 〃It sounds so much like relic。 Relict means just the same as widow； only a man can be a relict； too。〃
〃Great…Grandmother seemed to run short of rhymes at the last of the epitaph；〃 commented Dan。
〃Finding rhymes isn't as easy as you might think；〃 avowed Peter； out of his own experience。
〃I think Grandmother King intended the last of the epitaph to be in blank verse；〃 said Felicity with dignity。
There was still only a sprinkling of people in the church when we went in and took our places in the old…fashioned； square King pew。 We had just got comfortably settled when Felicity said in an agitated whisper； 〃Here is Peg Bowen！〃
We all stared at Peg； who was pacing composedly up the aisle。 We might be excused for so doing； for seldom were the decorous aisles of Carlisle church invaded by such a figure。 Peg was dressed in her usual short drugget skirt； rather worn and frayed around the bottom； and a waist of brilliant turkey red calico。 She wore no hat； and her grizzled black hair streamed in elf locks over her shoulders。 Face； arms and feet were bareand face； arms and feet were liberally powdered with FLOUR。 Certainly no one who saw Peg that night could ever forget the apparition。
Peg's black eyes； in which shone a more than usually wild and fitful light； roved scrutinizingly over the church； then settled on our pew。
〃She's coming here；〃 whispered Felicity in horror。 〃Can't we spread out and make her think the pew is full？〃
But the manoeuvre was too late。 The only result was that Felicity and the Story Girl in moving over left a vacant space between them and Peg promptly plumped down in it。
〃Well； I'm here；〃 she remarked aloud。 〃I did say once I'd never darken the door of Carlisle church again； but what that boy there〃nodding at Peter〃said last winter set me thinking； and I concluded maybe I'd better come once in a while； to be on the safe side。〃
Those poor girls were in an agony。 Everybody in the church was looking at our pew and smiling。 We all felt that we were terribly disgraced； but we could do nothing。 Peg was enjoying herself hugely； beyond all doubt。 From where she sat she could see the whole church； including pulpit and gallery； and her black eyes darted over it with restless glances。
〃Bless me； there's Sam Kinnaird；〃 she exclaimed； still aloud。 〃He's the man that dunned Jacob Marr for four cents on the church steps one Sunday。 I heard him。 'I think； Jacob； you owe me four cents on that cow you bought last fall。 Rec'llect you couldn't make the change？' Well； you know； 'twould a…made a cat laugh。 The Kinnairds were all mighty close； I can tell you。 That's how they got rich。〃
What Sam Kinnaird felt or thought during this speech； which everyone in the church must have heard； I know not。 Gossip had it that he changed colour。 We wretched occupants of the King pew were concerned only with our own outraged feelings。
〃And there's Melita Ross；〃 went on Peg。 〃She's got the same bonnet on she had last time I was in Carlisle church six years ago。 Some folks has the knack of making things last。 But look at the style Mrs。 Elmer Brewer wears； will yez？ Yez wouldn't think her mother died in the poor…house； would yez； now？〃
Poor Mrs。 Brewer！ From the tip of her smart kid shoes to the dainty cluster of ostrich tips in her bonnetshe was most immaculately and handsomely arrayed； but I venture to think she could have taken small pleasure in her fashionable attire that evening。 Some of the unregenerate； including Dan； were shaking with suppressed laughter； but most of the people looked as if they were afraid to smile； lest their turn should come next。
〃There's old Stephen Grant coming in；〃 exclaimed Peg viciously； shaking her floury fist at him； 〃and looking as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth。 He may be an elder； but he's a scoundrel just the same。 He set fire to his house to get the insurance and then blamed ME for doing it。 But I got even with him for it。 Oh； yes！ He knows that； and so do I！ He； he！〃
Peg chuckled quite fiendishly and Stephen Grant tried to look as if nothing had been said。
〃Oh； will the minister never come？〃 moaned Felicity in my ear。 〃Surely she'll have to stop then。〃
But the minister did not come and Peg had no intention of stopping。
〃There's Maria Dean。〃 she resumed。 〃I haven't seen Maria for years。 I never call there for she never seems to have anything to eat in the house。 She was a Clayton and the Claytons never could cook。 Maria sorter looks as if she'd shrunk in the wash； now； don't she？ And there's Douglas Nicholson。 His brother put rat poison in the family pancakes。 Nice little trick that； wasn't it？ They say it was by mistake。 I hope it WAS a mistake。 His wife is all rigged out in silk。 Yez wouldn't think to look at her she was married in cottonand mighty thankful to get married in anything； it's my opinion。 There's Timothy Patterson。 He's the meanest man alivemeaner'n Sam Kinnaird even。 Timothy pays his children five cents apiece to go without their suppers； and then steals the cents out of their pockets after they've gone to bed。 It's a fact。 And when his old father died he wouldn't let his wife put his best shirt on him。 He said his second best was plenty good to be buried in。 That's another fact。〃
〃I can't stand much more of this；〃 wailed Felicity。
〃See here； Miss Bowen； you really oughtn't to talk like that about people；〃 expostulated Peter in a low tone； goaded thereto； despite his awe of Peg； by Felicity's anguish。
〃Bless you； boy；〃 said Peg good…humouredly； 〃the only difference between me and other folks is that I say these things out loud and they just think them。 If I told yez all the things I know about the people in this congregation you'd be amazed。 Have a peppermint？〃
To our horror Peg produced a handful of peppermint lozenges from the pocket of her skirt and offered us one each。 We did not dare refuse but we each held our lozenge very gingerly in our hands。
〃Eat them；〃 commanded Peg rather fiercely。
〃Mother doesn't allow us to eat candy in church；〃 faltered Felicity。
〃Well； I've seen just as fine ladies as your ma give their children lozenges in church；〃 said Peg loftily。 She put a peppermint in her own mouth and sucked it with gusto。 We were relieved； for she did not talk during the process； but our relief was of short duration。 A bevy of three very smartly dressed young ladies； sweeping past our pew； started Peg off again。
〃Yez needn't be so stuck up；〃 she said； loudly and derisively。 〃Yez was all of yez rocked in a flour barrel。 And there's old Henry Frewen； still above ground。 I called my parrot after him because their noses were exactly alike。 Look at Caroline Marr； will yez？ That's a woman who'd like pretty well to get married； And there's Alexander Marr。 He's a real Christian； anyhow； and so's his dog。 I can always size up what a man's religion amounts to by the kind of dog he keeps。 Alexander Marr is a good man。〃
It was a relief to hear Peg speak well of somebody； but that was the only exception she made。
〃Look at Dave Fraser strutting in；〃 she went on。 〃That man has thanked God so often that he isn't like other people that it's come to be true。 He isn't！ And there's Susan Frewen。 She's jealous of everybody。 She's even jealous of Old Man Rogers because he's buried in the best spot in the graveyard。 Seth Erskine has the same look he was born with。 They say the Lord made everybody but I believe the devil made all the Erskines。〃
〃She's getting worse all the time。 What WILL she say next？〃 whispered poor Felicity。
But her martyrdom was over at last。 The minister appeared in the pulpit and Peg subsided into silence。 She folded her bare； floury arms over her breast and fastened her black eyes on the young preacher。 Her behaviour for the next half…hour was decorum itself； save that when the minister prayed that we might all be charitable in judgment Peg ejaculated 〃Amen〃 several times； loudly and forcibly； somewhat to the discomfiture of the Young man； to whom Peg was a stranger。 He opened his eyes； glanced at our pew in a startled way； then collected himself and went on。
Peg listened to the sermon； silently and motionlessly； until Mr。 Davidson was half through。 Then she suddenly got on her feet。
〃This is too dull for me；〃 she exclaimed。 〃I want something more exciting。〃
Mr。 Davidson stopped shor