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the blue flower-第26章

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farewell。〃

But John let the golden collar fall on the marble floor。
〃Tell your master that we shall talk together again; in due
time;〃 said he; as he passed sadly out of
the hall。

The love of Athenais and Hermas was like a tiny rivulet
that sinks out of sight in a cavern; but emerges again a
bright and brimming stream。  The careless comradery of
childhood was mysteriously changed into a complete
companionship。

When Athenais entered the House of the Golden Pillars as
a bride; all the music of life came with her。  Hermas called
the feast of her welcome 〃the banquet of the full chord。〃  Day
after day; night after night; week after week; month after
month; the bliss of the home unfolded like a rose of a
thousand leaves。  When a child came to them; a strong;
beautiful boy; worthy to be the heir of such a house; the
heart of the rose was filled with overflowing fragrance。
Happiness was heaped upon happiness。  Every wish brought its
own accomplishment。  Wealth; honour; beauty; peace; loveit
was an abundance of felicity so great that the soul of Hermas
could hardly contain it。

Strangely enough; it began to press upon him; to trouble
him with the very excess of joy。  He felt as if there were
something yet needed to complete and secure it all。  There was an
urgency within him; a longing to find some outlet for his
feelings; he knew not howsome expression and culmination of his
happiness; he knew not what。

Under his joyous demeanour a secret fire of restlessness
began to burnan expectancy of something yet to come which
should put the touch of perfection on his life。  He spoke of
it to Athenais; as they sat together; one summer evening; in
a bower of jasmine; with their boy playing at their feet。
There had been music in the garden; but now the singers and
lute…players had withdrawn; leaving the master and mistress
alone in the lingering twilight; tremulous with inarticulate
melody of unseen birds。  There was a secret voice in the hour
seeking vainly for utterance a word waiting to be spoken。

〃How deep is our happiness; my beloved!〃 said Hermas;
〃deeper than the sea that slumbers yonder; below the city。
And yet it is not quite full and perfect。  There is a depth of
joy that we have not yet knowna repose of happiness that is
still beyond us。  What is it?  I have no superstitions; like the
king who cast his signet…ring into the sea because he dreaded
that some secret vengeance would fall on his unbroken good
fortune。  That was an idle terror。  But there is something
that oppresses me like an invisible burden。  There is
something still undone; unspoken; unfeltsomething that we
need to complete everything。  Have you not felt it; too?  Can
you not lead me to it?〃

〃Yes;〃 she answered; lifting her eyes to his face; 〃I;
too; have felt it; Hermas; this burden; this need; this
unsatisfied longing。  I think I know what it means。  It is
gratitudethe language of the heart; the music of happiness。
There is no perfect joy without gratitude。  But we have never
learned it; and the want of it troubles us。  It is like being
dumb with a heart full of love。  We must find the word for it;
and say it together。  Then we shall be perfectly joined in
perfect joy。  Come; my dear lord; let us take the boy with us;
and give thanks。〃

Hermas lifted the child in his arms; and turned with
Athenais into the depth of the garden。  There was a dismantled
shrine of some forgotten fashion of worship half…hidden among the
luxuriant flowers。  A fallen image lay beside it; face downward
in the grass。  They stood there; hand in hand; the boy drowsily
resting on his father's shoulder。

Silently the roseate light caressed the tall spires of the
cypress…trees; silently the shadows gathered at their feet;
silently the tranquil stars looked out from the deepening arch
of heaven。  The very breath of being paused。  It was the hour
of culmination; the supreme moment of felicity waiting for its
crown。  The tones of Hermas were clear and low as he began;
half…speaking and half…chanting; in the rhythm of an ancient
song:

〃Fair is the world; the sea; the sky; the double kingdom
of day and night; in the glow of morning; in the shadow of
evening; and under the dripping light of stars。

〃Fairer still is life in our breasts; with its manifold
music and meaning; with its wonder of seeing and hearing and
feeling and knowing and being。

〃Fairer and still more fair is love; that draws us together;
mingles our lives in its flow; and bears them along like a river;
strong and clear and swift; reflecting the stars in its bosom。

〃Wide is our world; we are rich; we have all things。  Life
is abundant within usa measureless deep。  Deepest of all is
our love; and it longs to speak。

〃Come; thou final word; Come; thou crown of speech!  Come;
thou charm of peace!  Open the gates of our hearts。  Lift the
weight of our joy and bear it upward。

〃For all good gifts; for all perfect gifts; for love; for
life; for the world; we praise; we bless; we thank〃


As a soaring bird; struck by an arrow; falls headlong from
the sky; so the song of Hermas fell。  At the end of his flight
of gratitude there was nothinga blank; a hollow space。


He looked for a face; and saw a void。  He sought for a
hand; and clasped vacancy。  His heart was throbbing and
swelling with passion; the bell swung to and fro within him;
beating from side to side as if it would burst; but not a
single note came from it。  All the fulness of his feeling;
that had risen upward like a fountain; fell back from the empty
sky; as cold as snow; as hard as hail; frozen and dead。  There
was no meaning in his happiness。  No one had sent it to him。
There was no one to thank for it。  His felicity was a closed
circle; a wall of ice。

〃Let us go back;〃 he said sadly to Athenais; 〃the child is
heavy upon my shoulder。  We will lay him to sleep; and go into
the library。  The air grows chilly。  We were mistaken。  The
gratitude of life is only a dream。  There is no one to thank。〃

And in the garden it was already night。



V

No outward change came to the House of the Golden Pillars。
Everything moved as smoothly; as delicately; as prosperously;
as before。  But inwardly there was a subtle; inexplicable
transformation。  A vague discontent; a final and inevitable
sense of incompleteness; overshadowed existence from that
night when Hermas realised that his joy could never go beyond
itself。

The next morning the old man whom he had seen in the Grove
of Daphne; but never since; appeared mysteriously at the door
of the house; as if he had been sent for; and entered like an
invited guest。

Hermas could not but make him welcome; and at first he
tried to regard him with reverence and affection as the one
through whom fortune had come。  But it was impossible。  There
was a chill in the inscrutable smile of Marcion; as he called
himself; that seemed to mock at reverence。  He was in the
house as one watching a strange experimenttranquil;
interested; ready to supply anything that might be needed for
its completion; but thoroughly indifferent to the feelings of
the subject; an anatomist of life; looking curiously to see
how long it would continue; and how it would act; after the
heart had been removed。

In his presence Hermas was conscious of a certain
irritation; a resentful anger against the calm; frigid
scrutiny of the eyes that followed him everywhere; like a pair
of spies; peering out over the smiling mouth and the long
white beard。

〃Why do you look at me so curiously?〃 asked Hermas; one
morning; as they sat together in the library。  〃Do you see
anything strange in me?〃

〃No;〃 answered  Marcion; 〃something familiar。〃

〃And what is that?〃

〃A singular likeness to a discontented young man that I
met some years ago in the Grove of Daphne。〃

〃But why should that interest you?  Surely it was to be
expected。〃

〃A thing that we expect often surprises us when we see it。
Besides; my curiosity is piqued。  I suspect you of keeping a
secret from me。〃

〃You are jesting with me。  There is nothing in my life
that you do not know。  What is the secret?〃

〃Nothing more than the wish to have one。  You are growing
tired of your bargain。  The play wearies you。  That is
foolish。  Do you want to try a new part?〃

The question was like a mirror upon which one comes
suddenly in a half…lighted room。  A quick illumination falls on
it; and the passer…by is startled by the look of his own face。

〃You are right;〃 said Hermas。  〃I am tired。  We have been
going on stupidly in this house; as if nothing were possible
but what my father had done before me。  There is nothing
original in being rich; and well…fed; and well…dressed。
Thousands of men have tried it; and have not been satisfied。  Let
us do something new。  Let us make a mark in the world。〃

〃It is well said;〃 nodded the old man; 〃you are speaking
again like a man after my own heart。  There is no folly but
the loss of an opportunity to enjoy a new sensation。〃

From that day Hermas seemed to be possessed with a
perpetual haste; an uneasiness that left him no repose。  The
summit of life had been attained; the highest possible point
of felicity。  Henceforward 
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