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on to say that at the seventeenth round the awe…stricken savage
said solemnly that that man was being reserved by the Great Spirit
for some mighty mission； and he dared not lift his sacrilegious rifle
against him again； the narrative seriously impairs the integrity
of history。 What he did say was：
〃It ain't no （hic） no use。 'At man's so drunk he can't stan'
still long enough for a man to hit him。 I （hic） I can't 'ford
to fool away any more am'nition on him。〃
That was why he stopped at the seventeenth round； and it was a good；
plain； matter…of…fact reason； too； and one that easily commends itself
to us by the eloquent； persuasive flavor of probability there is about it。
I also enjoyed the story…book narrative； but I felt a marring misgiving
that every Indian at Braddock's Defeat who fired at a soldier
a couple of times （two easily grows to seventeen in a century）；
and missed him； jumped to the conclusion that the Great Spirit
was reserving that soldier for some grand mission； and so I somehow
feared that the only reason why Washington's case is remembered
and the others forgotten is； that in his the prophecy came true；
and in that of the others it didn't。 There are not books enough
on earth to contain the record of the prophecies Indians and other
unauthorized parties have made； but one may carry in his overcoat
pockets the record of all the prophecies that have been fulfilled。
I will remark here； in passing； that certain ancestors of mine are
so thoroughly well…known in history by their aliases； that I have
not felt it to be worth while to dwell upon them； or even mention
them in the order of their birth。 Among these may be mentioned
Richard Brinsley Twain； alias Guy Fawkes； John Wentworth Twain；
alias Sixteen…String Jack； William Hogarth Twain； alias Jack Sheppard；
Ananias Twain； alias Baron Munchausen； John George Twain；
alias Captain Kydd； and then there are George Francis Twain；
Tom Pepper； Nebuchadnezzar； and Baalam's Assthey all belong
to our family； but to a branch of it somewhat distinctly removed
from the honorable direct linein fact； a collateral branch；
whose members chiefly differ from the ancient stock in that； in order
to acquire the notoriety we have always yearned and hungered for；
they have got into a low way of going to jail instead of getting hanged。
It is not well； when writing an autobiography； to follow your ancestry
down too close to your own timeit is safest to speak only vaguely
of your great…grandfather； and then skip from there to yourself；
which I now do。
I was born without teethand there Richard III。 had the advantage
of me； but I was born without a humpback； likewise； and there I
had the advantage of him。 My parents were neither very poor nor
conspicuously honest。
But now a thought occurs to me。 My own history would really seem
so tame contrasted with that of my ancestors； that it is simply wisdom
to leave it unwritten until I am hanged。 If some other biographies I
have read had stopped with the ancestry until a like event occurred；
it would have been a felicitous thing for the reading public。
How does it strike you？