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least I did！ You are a cad； young sir！〃 he shouted in reply。
〃But what right have you to shout at me like that？〃 I exclaimed；
feeling that it was now HE that was insulting ME； and growing
angry accordingly。
〃This much right；〃 he replied； 〃that I never allow myself to be
overlooked by any one； and that I always teach young fellows like
yourself their manners。 What is your name； young sir； and where
do you live？〃
At this I felt so hurt that my teeth chattered； and I felt as
though I were choking。 Yet all the while I was conscious of being
in the wrong； and so； instead of offering any further rudeness to
the offended one； humbly told him my name and address。
〃And MY name； young sir；〃 he returned； 〃is Kolpikoff； and I will
trouble you to be more polite to me in future。However； You will
hear from me again〃 （〃vous aurez de mes nouvelles〃the
conversation had been carried on wholly in French）； was his
concluding remark。
To this I replied； 〃I shall be delighted；〃 with an infusion of as
much hauteur as I could muster into my tone。 Then； turning on my
heel； I returned with my cigarettewhich had meanwhile gone out
to our own room。
I said nothing； either to my brother or my friends； about what
had happened （and the more so because they were at that moment
engaged in a dispute of their own）； but sat down in a corner to
think over the strange affair。 The words； 〃You are a cad； young
sir；〃 vexed me more and more the longer that they sounded in my
ears。 My tipsiness was gone now； and； in considering my conduct
during the dispute； the uncomfortable thought came over me that I
had behaved like a coward。
〃Yet what right had he to attack me？〃 I reflected。 〃Why did he
not simply intimate to me that I was annoying him？ After all； it
may have been he that was in the wrong。 Why； too； when he called
me a young cad； did I not say to him； 'A cad； my good sir； is one
who takes offence'？ Or why did I not simply tell him to hold his
tongue？ That would have been the better course。 Or why did I not
challenge him to a duel？ No； I did none of those things； but
swallowed his insults like a wretched coward。〃
Still the words； 〃You are a cad； young sir；〃 kept sounding in my
ears with maddening iteration。 〃I cannot leave things as they
are；〃 I at length decided as I rose to my feet with the fixed
intention of returning to the gentleman and saying something
outrageous to himperhaps； also； of breaking the candelabrum
over his head if occasion offered。 Yet； though I considered the
advisability of this last measure with some pleasure； it was not
without a good deal of trepidation that I re…entered the main
salon。 As luck would have it； M。 Kolpikoff was no longer there；
but only a waiter engaged in clearing the table。 For a moment I
felt like telling the waiter the whole story； and explaining to
him my innocence in the matter； but for some reason or another I
thought better of it； and once more returned； in the same hazy
condition of mind； to our own room。
〃What has become of our DIPLOMAT？〃 Dubkoff was just saying。 〃Upon
him now hang the fortunes of Europe。〃
〃Oh； leave me alone；〃 I said； turning moodily away。 Then； as I
paced the room； something made me begin to think that Dubkoff was
not altogether a good fellow。 〃There is nothing very much to
admire in his eternal jokes and his nickname of 'DIPLOMAT；'〃 I
reflected。 〃All he thinks about is to win money from Woloda and
to go and see his 'Auntie。' There is nothing very nice in all
that。 Besides； everything he says has a touch of blackguardism in
it； and he is forever trying to make people laugh。 In my opinion
he is simply stupid when he is not absolutely a brute。〃 I spent
about five minutes in these reflections； and felt my enmity
towards Dubkoff continually increasing。 For his part； he took no
notice of me； and that angered me the more。 I actually felt vexed
with Woloda and Dimitri because they went on talking to him。
〃I tell you what； gentlemen： the DIPLOMAT ought to be
christened；〃 said Dubkoff suddenly； with a glance and a smile
which seemed to me derisive； and even treacherous。 〃Yet； 0 Lord；
what a poor specimen he is！〃
〃You yourself ought to be christened； and you yourself are a
sorry specimen！〃 I retorted with an evil smile； and actually
forgetting to address him as 〃thou。〃 ＇In Russian as in French；
the second person singular is the form of speech used between
intimate friends。＇
This reply evidently surprised Dubkoff； but he turned away good…
humouredly； and went on talking to Woloda and Dimitri。 I tried to
edge myself into the conversation； but； since I felt that I could
not keep it up； I soon returned to my corner； and remained there
until we left。
When the bill had been paid and wraps were being put on； Dubkoff
turned to Dimitri and said： 〃Whither are Orestes and Pedalion
going now？ Home； I suppose； to talk about love。 Well； let US go
and see my dear Auntie。 That will be far more entertaining than
your sour company。〃
〃How dare you speak like that； and laugh at us？〃 I burst out as I
approached him with clenched fists。 〃How dare you laugh at
feelings which you do not understand？ I will not have you do it！
Hold your tongue！〃 At this point I had to hold my own； for I did
not know what to say next； and was； moreover； out of breath with
excitement。 At first Dubkoff was taken aback； but presently he
tried to laugh it off； and to take it as a joke。 Finally I was
surprised to see him look crestfallen； and lower his eyes。
〃I NEVER laugh at you or your feelings。 It is merely my way of
speaking；〃 he said evasively。
〃Indeed？〃 I cried； yet the next moment I felt ashamed of myself
and sorry for him； since his flushed； downcast face had in it no
other expression than one of genuine pain。
〃What is the matter with you？〃 said Woloda and Dimitri
simultaneously。 〃No one was trying to insult you。〃
〃Yes； he DID try to insult me！〃 I replied。
〃What an extraordinary fellow your brother is！〃 said Dubkoff to
Woloda。 At that moment he was passing out of the door； and could
not have heard what I said。 Possibly I should have flung myself
after him and offered him further insult； had it not been that
just at that moment the waiter who had witnessed my encounter
with Kolpikoff handed me my greatcoat； and I at once quietened
downmerely making such a pretence of having had a difference
with Dimitri as was necessary to make my sudden appeasement
appear nothing extraordinary。 Next day； when I met Dubkoff at
Woloda's； the quarrel was not raked up； yet he and I still
addressed each other as 〃you；〃 and found it harder than ever to
look one another in the face。
The remembrance of my scene with Kolpikoffwho； by the way；
never sent me 〃de ses nouvelles；〃 either the following day or any
day afterwardsremained for years a keen and unpleasant memory。
Even so much as five years after it had happened I would begin
fidgeting and muttering to myself whenever I remembered the
unavenged insult； and was fain to comfort myself with the
satisfaction of recollecting the sort of young fellow I had shown
myself to be in my subsequent affair with Dubkoff。 In fact； it
was only later still that I began to regard the matter in another
light； and both to recall with comic appreciation my passage of
arms with Kolpikoff； and to regret the undeserved affront which I
had offered my good friend Dubkoff。
When； at a later hour on the evening of the dinner； I told
Dimitri of my affair with Kolpikoff； whose exterior I described
in detail； he was astounded。
〃That is the very man！〃 he cried。 〃Don't you know that this
precious Kolpikoff is a known scamp and sharper； as well as；
above all things； a coward； and that he was expelled from his
regiment by his brother officers because； having had his face
slapped； he would not fight？ But how came you to let him get
away？〃 he added； with a kindly smile and glance。 〃Surely he could
not have said more to you than he did when he called you a cad？〃
〃No；〃 I admitted with a blush。
〃Well； it was not right； but there is no great harm done；〃 said
Dimitri consolingly。
Long afterwards； when thinking the matter over at leisure； I
suddenly came to the conclusion that it was quite possible that
Kolpikoff took the opportunity of vicariously wiping off upon me
the slap in the face which he had once received； just as I myself
took the opportunity of vicariously wiping off upon the innocent
Dubkoff the epithet 〃cad〃 which Kolpikoff had just applied to me。
XVII
I GET READY TO PAY SOME CALLS
On awaking next morning my first thoughts were of the affair with
Kolpikoff。 Once again I muttered to myself and stamped about the
room； but there was no help for it。 To…day was the last day that
I was to spend in Moscow； and it was to be spent； by Papa's
orders； in my paying a round of calls which he had written out
for me on