按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
with Sonetchka； for the purpose of priding myself on holding to
my troth in spite of her scarsYet； as a matter of fact； I was
not really in love with her during that drive； but having once
stirred up in myself old MEMORIES of love； felt PREPARED to fall
into that condition； and the more so because； of late； my
conscience had often been pricking me for having discarded so
many of my old flames。
The Valakhins lived in a neat little wooden mansion approached by
a courtyard。 I gained admittance by ringing a bell （then a rarity
in Moscow）； and was received by a mincing； smartly…attired page。
He either could not or made no attempt to inform me whether there
was any one at home； but； leaving me alone in the dark hall； ran
off down a still darker corridor。 For a long time I waited in
solitude in this gloomy place； out of which； in addition to the
front door and the corridor； there only opened a door which at
the moment was closed。 Rather surprised at the dismal appearance
of the house； I came to the conclusion that the reason was that
its inmates were still abroad。 After five minutes； however； the
door leading into the salon was opened by the page boy； who then
conducted me into a neat； but not richly furnished； drawing…room；
where presently I was joined by Sonetchka。
She was now seventeen years old； and very small and thin； as well
as of an unhealthy pallor of face。 No scars at all were visible；
however； and the beautiful； prominent eyes and bright； cheerful
smile were the same as I had known and loved in my childhood。 I
had not expected her to look at all like this； and therefore
could not at once lavish upon her the sentiment which I had been
preparing on the way。 She gave me her hand in the English fashion
（which was then as much a novelty as a door…bell）； and； bestowing
upon mine a frank squeeze； sat down on the sofa by my side。
〃Ah！ how glad I am to see you； my dear Nicolas！〃 she said as she
looked me in the face with an expression of pleasure so sincere
that in the words 〃my dear Nicolas〃 I caught the purely friendly
rather than the patronising note。 To my surprise she seemed to me
simpler； kinder； and more sisterly after her foreign tour than
she had been before it。 True； I could now see that she had two
small scars between her nose and temples； but her wonderful eyes
and smile fitted in exactly with my recollections； and shone as
of old。
〃But how greatly you have changed！〃 she went on。 〃You are quite
grown…up now。 And I…I…well； what do you think of me？〃
〃I should never have known you；〃 I replied； despite the fact that
at the moment I was thinking that I should have known her
anywhere and always。
〃Why？ Am I grown so ugly？〃 she inquired with a movement of her
head。
〃Oh； no； decidedly not！〃 I hastened to reply。 〃But you have grown
taller and older。 As for being uglier； why； you are even
〃Yes； yes； never mind。 Do you remember our dances and games； and
St。 Jerome； and Madame Dorat？〃 （As a matter of fact； I could not
recollect any Madame Dorat； but saw that Sonetchka was being led
away by the joy of her childish recollections； and mixing them up
a little）。 〃Ah！ what a lovely time it was！〃 she went onand once
more there shone before me the same eyes and smile as I had
always carried in my memory。 While she had been speaking； I had
been thinking over my position at the present moment； and had
come to the conclusion that I was in love with her。 The instant；
however； that I arrived at that result my careless； happy mood
vanished； a mist seemed to arise before me which concealed even
her eyes and smile； and； blushing hotly； I became tongue…tied and
ill…at…ease。
〃But times are different now；〃 she went on with a sigh and a
little lifting of her eyebrows。 〃Everything seems worse than it
used to be； and ourselves too。 Is it not so； Nicolas？〃
I could return her no answer； but sat silently looking at her。
〃Where are those Iwins and Kornakoffs now？ Do you remember them？〃
she continued； looking； I think； with some curiosity at my
blushing； downcast countenance。 〃What splendid times we used to
have！〃
Still I could not answer her。
The next moment； I was relieved from this awkward position by the
entry of old Madame Valakhin into the room。 Rising； I bowed； and
straightway recovered my faculty of speech。 On the other hand； an
extraordinary change now took place in Sonetchka。 All her gaiety
and bonhomie disappeared； her smile became quite a different one；
and； except for the point of her shortness of stature； she became
just the lady from abroad whom I had expected to find in her。 Yet
for this change there was no apparent reason； since her mother
smiled every whit as pleasantly； and expressed in her every
movement just the same benignity； as of old。 Seating herself in
her arm…chair； the old lady signed to me to come and sit beside
her； after which she said something to her daughter in English；
and Sonetchka left the rooma fact which still further helped to
relieve me。 Madame then inquired after my father and brother； and
passed on to speak of her great bereavementthe loss of her
husband。 Presently； however； she seemed to become sensible of the
fact that I was not helping much in the conversation； for she
gave me a look as much as to say： 〃If； now； my dear boy； you were
to get up； to take your leave； and to depart； it would be well。〃
But a curious circumstance had overtaken me。 While she had been
speaking of her bereavement； I had recalled to myself； not only
the fact that I was in love； but the probability that the mother
knew of it： whereupon such a fit of bashfulness had come upon me
that I felt powerless to put any member of my body to its
legitimate use。 I knew that if I were to rise and walk I should
have to think where to plant each foot； what to do with my head；
what with my hands； and so on。 In a word； I foresaw that I should
be very much as I had been on the night when I partook too freely
of champagne； and therefore； since I felt uncertain of being able
to manage myself if I DID rise； I ended by feeling UNABLE to
rise。 Meanwhile； I should say； Sonetchka had returned to the room
with her work； and seated herself in a far cornera corner
whence； as I was nevertheless sensible； she could observe me。
Madame must have felt some surprise as she gazed at my crimson
face and noted my complete immobility； but I decided that it was
better to continue sitting in that absurd position than to risk
something unpleasant by getting up and walking。 Thus I sat on and
on； in the hope that some unforeseen chance would deliver me from
my predicament。 That unforeseen chance at length presented itself
in the person of an unforeseen young man； who entered the room
with an air of being one of the household； and bowed to me
politely as he did so： whereupon Madame rose； excused herself to
me for having to speak with her 〃homme d'affaires；〃 and finally
gave me a glance which said： 〃Well； if you DO mean to go on
sitting there for ever； at least I can't drive you away。〃
Accordingly； with a great effort I also rose； but； finding it
impossible to do any leave…taking； moved away towards the door；
followed by the pitying glances of mother and daughter。 All at
once I stumbled over a chair； although it was lying quite out of
my route： the reason for my stumbling being that my whole
attention was centred upon not tripping over the carpet。 Driving
through the fresh air； howeverwhere at first I muttered and
fidgeted about so much that Kuzma； my coachman； asked me what was
the matterI soon found this feeling pass away； and began to
meditate quietly concerning my love for Sonetchka and her
relations with her mother； which had appeared to me rather
strange。 When； afterwards； I told my father that mother and
daughter had not seemed on the best of terms with one another； he
said：
〃Yes； Madame leads the poor girl an awful life with her meanness。
Yet；〃 added my father with a greater display of feeling than a
man might naturally conceive for a mere relative； 〃she used to be
such an original； dear； charming woman！ I cannot think what has
made her change so much。 By the way； you didn't notice a
secretary fellow about； did you？ Fancy a Russian lady having an
affaire with a secretary！〃
〃Yes； I saw him；〃 I replied。
〃And was he at least good…looking？〃
〃No； not at all。〃
〃It is extraordinary！〃 concluded Papa； with a cough and an
irritable hoist of his shoulder。
〃Well； I am in love！〃 was my secret thought to myself as I drove
along in my drozhki。
XIX
THE KORNAKOFFS
MY second call on the route lay at the Kornakoffs'； who lived on
the first floor of a large mansion facing the Arbat。 The
staircase of the building looked extremely neat and orderly； yet
in no way luxuriousbeing lined only with drugget pinned down
with highly…polished brass rods。 Nowhere were there any flowers
or mir