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contented； and have occupations which interest you； while； on the
other hand； your wife may be too weak to superintend the
household work （which； in consequence； will be left to the
servants）； or to look after the children （who； in consequence；
will be left to the nurses）； or to put her heart into any work
whatsoever： and all because she loves nobody and nothing but
yourself。 She may be patently ill； yet she will say not a word to
you about it； for fear of distressing you。 She may be patently
ennuyee； yet for your sake she will be prepared to be so for the
rest of her life。 She may be patently depressed because you stick
so persistently to your occupations （whether sport； books；
farming； state service； or anything else） and see clearly that
they are doing you harm； yet； for all that； she will keep
silence； and suffer it to be so。 Yet； should you but fall sick
and； despite her own ailments and your prayers that she will not
distress herself in vain； your loving wife will remain sitting
inseparably by your bedside。 Every moment you will feel her
sympathetic gaze resting upon you and； as it were； saying：
〃There！ I told you so； but it is all one to me； and I shall not
leave you。〃 In the morning you maybe a little better； and move
into another room。 The room； however； will be insufficiently
warmed or set in order； the soup which alone you feel you could
eat will not have been cooked； nor will any medicine have been
sent for。 Yet； though worn out with night watching； your loving
wife will continue to regard you with an expression of sympathy；
to walk about on tiptoe； and to whisper unaccustomed and obscure
orders to the servants。 You may wish to be read toand your
loving wife will tell you with a sigh that she feels sure you
will be unable to hear her reading； and only grow angry at her
awkwardness in doing it； wherefore you had better not be read to
at all。 You may wish to walk about the roomand she will tell you
that it would be far better for you not to do so。 You may wish to
talk with some friends who have calledand she will tell you that
talking is not good for you。 At nightfall the fever may come upon
you again； and you may wish to be left alone whereupon your
loving wife； though wasted； pale； and full of yawns； will go on
sitting in a chair opposite you； as dusk falls； until her very
slightest movement； her very slightest sound； rouses you to
feelings of anger and impatience。 You may have a servant who has
lived with you for twenty years； and to whom you are attached；
and who would tend you well and to your satisfaction during the
night； for the reason that he has been asleep all day and is；
moreover； paid a salary for his services； yet your wife will not
suffer him to wait upon you。 No； everything she must do herself
with her weak； unaccustomed fingers （of which you follow the
movements with suppressed irritation as those pale members do
their best to uncork a medicine bottle； to snuff a candle； to
pour out physic； or to touch you in a squeamish sort of way）。 If
you are an impatient； hasty sort of man； and beg of her to leave
the room； you will hear by the vexed； distressed sounds which
come from her that she is humbly sobbing and weeping behind the
door； and whispering foolishness of some kind to the servant。
Finally if you do not die； your loving wifewho has not slept
during the whole three weeks of your illness （a fact of which she
will constantly remind you）will fall ill in her turn； waste
away； suffer much； and become even more incapable of any useful
pursuit than she was before； while by the time that you have
regained your normal state of health she will express to you her
self…sacrificing affection only by shedding around you
a kind of benignant dullness which involuntarily communicates
itself both to yourself and to every one else in your vicinity。
The third kind of lovepractical loveconsists of a yearning to
satisfy every need； every desire； every caprice； nay； every vice；
of the being beloved。 People who love thus always love their life
long； since； the more they love； the more they get to know the
object beloved； and the easier they find the task of loving it
that is to say； of satisfying its desires。 Their love seldom
finds expression in words； but if it does so； it expresses itself
neither with assurance nor beauty； but rather in a shamefaced；
awkward manner； since people of this kind invariably have
misgivings that they are loving unworthily。 People of this kind
love even the faults of their adored one； for the reason that
those faults afford them the power of constantly satisfying new
desires。 They look for their affection to be returned； and even
deceive themselves into believing that it is returned； and are
happy accordingly： yet in the reverse case they will still
continue to desire happiness for their beloved one； and try by
every means in their powerwhether moral or material； great or
smallto provide it。
Such practical love it waslove for her nephew； for her niece；
for her sister； for Lubov Sergievna； and even for myself； because
I loved Dimitrithat shone in the eyes； as well as in the every
word and movement； of Sophia Ivanovna。
Only long afterwards did I learn to value her at her true worth。
Yet even now the question occurred to me： 〃What has made Dimitri
who throughout has tried to understand love differently to other
young fellows； and has always had before his eyes the gentle；
loving Sophia Ivanovnasuddenly fall so deeply in love with the
incomprehensible Lubov Sergievna； and declare that in his aunt he
can only find good QUALITIES？ Verily it is a true saying that 'a
prophet hath no honour in his own country。' One of two things：
either every man has in him more of bad than of good； or every
man is more receptive to bad than to good。 Lubov Sergievna he has
not known for long； whereas his aunt's love he has known since
the day of his birth。〃
XXV
I BECOME BETTER ACQUAINTED WITH THE NECHLUDOFFS
WHEN I returned to the verandah； I found that they were not
talking of me at all； as I had anticipated。 On the contrary；
Varenika had laid aside the book； and was engaged in a heated
dispute with Dimitri； who； for his part； was walking up and down
the verandah； and frowningly adjusting his neck in his collar as
he did so。 The subject of the quarrel seemed to be Ivan
Yakovlevitch and superstition； but it was too animated a
difference for its underlying cause not to be something which
concerned the family much more nearly。 Although the Princess and
Lubov Sergievna were sitting by in silence； they were following
every word； and evidently tempted at times to take part in the
dispute； yet always； just when they were about to speak； they
checked themselves； and left the field clear for the two
principles； Dimitri and Varenika。 On my entry； the latter glanced
at me with such an indifferent air that I could see she was
wholly absorbed in the quarrel and did not care whether she spoke
in my presence or not。 The Princess too looked the same； and was
clearly on Varenika's side； while Dimitri began； if anything； to
raise his voice still more when I appeared； and Lubov Sergievna；
for her part； observed to no one in particular： 〃Old people are
quite right when they say； 'Si jeunesse savait； si vieillesse
pouvait。'〃
Nevertheless this quotation did not check the dispute； though it
somehow gave me the impression that the side represented by the
speaker and her friend was in the wrong。 Although it was a little
awkward for me to be present at a petty family difference； the
fact that the true relations of the family revealed themselves
during its progress； and that my presence did nothing to hinder
that revelation； afforded me considerable gratification。
How often it happens that for years one sees a family cover
themselves over with a conventional cloak of decorum； and
preserve the real relations of its members a secret from every
eye！ How often； too； have I remarked that； the more impenetrable
（and therefore the more decorous） is the cloak； the harsher are
the relations which it conceals！ Yet； once let some unexpected
questionoften a most trivial one （the colour of a woman's hair；
a visit； a man's horses； and so forth）arise in that family
circle； and without any visible cause there will also arise an
ever…growing difference； until in time the cloak of decorum
becomes unequal to confining the quarrel within due bounds； and；
to the dismay of the disputants and the astonishment of the
auditors； the real and ill…adjusted relations of the family are
laid bare； and the cloak； now useless for concealment； is bandied
from hand to hand among the contending factions until it serves
only to remind one of the years during which it successfully
deceived one's perceptions。 Sometimes to strike one's head
violently against a ceiling hurts one less than just to graze
some spot which has been hurt and b