按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
was； if anything； too outspoken and truthful。 Yet； during this
first stage of my manhood； I often found myself seized with a
strange and unreasonable tendency to lie in the most desperate
fashion。 I say advisedly 〃in the most desperate fashion；〃 for the
reason that I lied in matters in which it was the easiest thing
in the world to detect me。 On the whole I think that a vain…
glorious desire to appear different from what I was； combined
with an impossible hope that the lie would never be found out；
was the chief cause of this extraordinary impulse。
After tea； since the rain had stopped and the after…glow of
sunset was calm and clear； the Princess proposed that we should
go and stroll in the lower garden； and admire her favourite spots
there。 Following my rule to be always original； and conceiving
that clever people like myself and the Princess must surely be
above the banalities of politeness； I replied that I could not
bear a walk with no object in view； and that； if I DID walk； I
liked to walk alone。 I had no idea that this speech was simply
rude； all I thought was that； even as nothing could be more
futile than empty compliments； so nothing could be more pleasing
and original than a little frank brusquerie。 However； though much
pleased with my answer； I set out with the rest of the company。
The Princess's favourite spot of all was at the very bottom of
the lower garden； where a little bridge spanned a narrow piece of
swamp。 The view there was very restricted； yet very intimate and
pleasing。 We are so accustomed to confound art with nature that；
often enough； phenomena of nature which are never to be met with
in pictures seem to us unreal； and give us the impression that
nature is unnatural； or vice versa； whereas phenomena of nature
which occur with too much frequency in pictures seem to us
hackneyed； and views which are to be met with in real life； but
which appear to us too penetrated with a single idea or a single
sentiment； seem to us arabesques。 The view from the Princess's
favourite spot was as follows。 On the further side of a small
lake； over…grown with weeds round its edges； rose a steep ascent
covered with bushes and with huge old trees of many shades of
green； while； overhanging the lake at the foot of the ascent；
stood an ancient birch tree which； though partly supported by
stout roots implanted in the marshy bank of the lake； rested its
crown upon a tall； straight poplar； and dangled its curved
branches over the smooth surface of the pondboth branches and
the surrounding greenery being reflected therein as in a mirror。
〃How lovely！〃 said the Princess with a nod of her head； and
addressing no one in particular。
〃Yes； marvellous！〃 I replied in my desire to show that had an
opinion of my own on every subject。 〃Yet somehow it all looks to
me so terribly like a scheme of decoration。〃
The Princess went on gazing at the scene as though she had not
heard me； and turning to her sister and Lubov Sergievna at
intervals； in order to point out to them its detailsespecially
a curved； pendent bough； with its reflection in the water； which
particularly pleased her。 Sophia Ivanovna observed to me that it
was all very beautiful； and that she and her sister would
sometimes spend hours together at this spot； yet it was clear
that her remarks were meant merely to please the Princess。 I have
noticed that people who are gifted with the faculty of loving are
seldom receptive to the beauties of nature。 Lubov Sergievna also
seemed enraptured； and asked （among other things）； 〃How does that
birch tree manage to support itself？ Has it stood there long？〃
Yet the next moment she became absorbed in contemplation of her
little dog Susetka； which； with its stumpy paws pattering to and
fro upon the bridge in a mincing fashion； seemed to say by the
expression of its face that this was the first time it had ever
found itself out of doors。 As for Dimitri； he fell to discoursing
very logically to his mother on the subject of how no view can be
beautiful of which the horizon is limited。 Varenika alone said
nothing。 Glancing at her； I saw that she was leaning over the
parapet of the bridge； her profile turned towards me； and gazing
straight in front of her。 Something seemed to be interesting her
deeply； or even affecting her； since it was clear that she was
oblivious to her surroundings； and thinking neither of herself
nor of the fact that any one might be regarding her。 In the
expression of her large eyes there was nothing but wrapt
attention and quiet； concentrated thought； while her whole
attitude seemed so unconstrained and； for all her shortness； so
dignified that once more some recollection or another touched me
and once more I asked myself； 〃Is IT； then； beginning？〃 Yet again
I assured myself that I was already in love with Sonetchka； and
that Varenika was only an ordinary girl； the sister of my friend。
Though she pleased me at that moment； I somehow felt a vague
desire to show her； by word or deed； some small unfriendliness。
〃I tell you what； Dimitri；〃 I said to my friend as I moved nearer
to Varenika； so that she might overhear what I was going to say；
〃it seems to me that； even if there had been no mosquitos here；
there would have been nothing to commend this spot； whereas 〃
and here I slapped my cheek； and in very truth annihilated one of
those insects〃it is simply awful。〃
〃Then you do not care for nature？〃 said Varenika without turning
her head。
〃I think it a foolish； futile pursuit；〃 I replied； well satisfied
that I had said something to annoy her； as well as something
original。 Varenika only raised her eyebrows a little； with an
expression of pity； and went on gazing in front of her as calmly
as before。
I felt vexed with her。 Yet； for all that； the rusty； paint…
blistered parapet on which she was leaning； the way in which the
dark waters of the pond reflected the drooping branch of the
overhanging birch tree （it almost seemed to me as though branch
and its reflection met）； the rising odour of the swamp； the
feeling of crushed mosquito on my cheek； and her absorbed look
and statuesque posemany times afterwards did these things
recur with unexpected vividness to my recollection。
XXVII
DIMITRI
WHEN we returned to the house from our stroll； Varenika declined
to sing as she usually did in the evenings； and I was conceited
enough to attribute this to my doing； in the belief that its
reason lay in what I had said on the bridge。 The Nechludoffs
never had supper； and went to bed early； while to…night； since
Dimitri had the toothache （as Sophia Ivanovna had foretold）； he
departed with me to his room even earlier than usual。 Feeling
that I had done all that was required of me by my blue collar and
gilt buttons； and that every one was very pleased with me； I was
in a gratified； complacent mood； while Dimitri； on the other
hand； was rendered by his quarrel with his sister and the
toothache both taciturn and gloomy。 He sat down at the table； got
out a couple of notebooksa diary and the copy…book in which it
was his custom every evening to inscribe the tasks performed by
or awaiting himand； continually frowning and touching his cheek
with his hand； continued writing for a while。
〃Oh； DO leave me alone！〃 he cried to the maid whom Sophia
Ivanovna sent to ask him whether his teeth were still hurting
him； and whether he would not like to have a poultice made。 Then；
saying that my bed would soon be ready for me and that he would
be back presently； he departed to Lubov Sergievna's room。
〃What a pity that Varenika is not good…looking and； in general；
Sonetchka！〃 I reflected when I found myself alone。 〃How nice it
would be if； after I have left the University； I could go to her
and offer her my hand！ I would say to her； 'Princess； though no
longer young； and therefore unable to love passionately； I will
cherish you as a dear sister。 And you；' I would continue to her
mother； 'I greatly respect； and you； Sophia Ivanovna； I value
highly。 Therefore say to me； Varenika （since I ask you to be my
wife）； just the simple and direct word YES。' And she would give
me her hand； and I should press it； and say； 'Mine is a love
which depends not upon words； but upon deeds。' And suppose；〃 next
came into my head； 〃that Dimitri should suddenly fall in love
with Lubotshka （as Lubotshka has already done with him）； and
should desire to marry her？ Then either one or the other of us
would have to resign all thought of marriage。 Well； it would be
splendid； for in that case I should act thus。 As soon as I had
noticed how things were； I should make no remark； but go to
Dimitri and say； 'It is no use； my friend； for you and I to
conceal our feelings from one another。 You know that my love for
your sister will terminate only with my life。 Yet I know all； and
though you have deprived me of all hope； and have rendered me