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youth-第25章

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to slumber。 Only old hunchbacked Fokabare…footed; clad in some

sort of a woman's wadded nightdress; and carrying a candlestick

opened the door to us。 As soon as he saw who we were; he trembled

all over with joy; kissed us on the shoulders; hurriedly put on

his felt slippers; and started to dress himself properly。 I

passed in a semi…waking condition through the porch and up the

steps; but in the hall the lock of the door; the bars and bolts;

the crooked boards of the flooring; the chest; the ancient

candelabrum (splashed all over with grease as of old); the

shadows thrown by the crooked; chill; recently…lighted stump of

candle; the perennially dusty; unopened window behind which I

remembered sorrel to have grownall was so familiar; so full of

memories; so intimate of aspect; so; as it were; knit together by

a single idea; that I suddenly became conscious of a tenderness

for this quiet old house。 Involuntarily I asked myself; 〃How have

we; the house and I; managed to remain apart so long?〃 and;

hurrying from spot to spot; ran to see if all the other rooms

were still the same。 Yes; everything was unchanged; except that

everything had become smaller and lower; and I myself taller;

heavier; and more filled out。 Yet; even as I was; the old house

received me back into its arms; and aroused in me with every

board; every window; every step of the stairs; and every sound

the shadows of forms; feelings; and events of the happy but

irrevocable past。 When we entered our old night nursery; all my

childish fears lurked once more in the darkness of the corners

and doorway。 When we passed into the drawing…room; I could feel

the old calm motherly love diffusing itself from every object in

the apartment。 In the breakfast…room; the noisy; careless

merriment of childhood seemed merely to be waiting to wake to

life again。 In the divannaia (whither Foka first conducted us;

and where he had prepared our beds) everythingmirror; screen;

old wooden ikon; the lumps on the walls covered with white paper

seemed to speak of suffering and of death and of what would never

come back to us again。



We got into bed; and Foka; bidding us good…night; retired。



〃It was in this room that Mamma died; was it not?〃 said Woloda。



I made no reply; but pretended to be asleep。 If I had said

anything I should have burst into tears。 On awaking next morning;

I beheld Papa sitting on Woloda's bed in his dressing gown and

slippers and smoking a cigar。 Leaping up with a merry hoist of

the shoulders; he came over to me; slapped me on the back with

his great hand; and presented me his cheek to press my lips to。



〃Well done; DIPLOMAT!〃 he said in his most kindly jesting tone as

he looked at me with his small bright eyes。 〃Woloda tells me you

have passed the examinations well for a youngster; and that is a

splendid thing。 Unless you start and play the fool; I shall have

another fine little fellow in you。 Thanks; my dear boy。 Well; we

will have a grand time of it here now; and in the winter;

perhaps; we shall move to St。 Petersburg。 I only wish the hunting

was not over yet; or I could have given you some amusement in

THAT way。 Can you shoot; Woldemar? However; whether there is any

game or not; I will take you out some day。 Next winter; if God

pleases; we will move to St。 Petersburg; and you shall meet

people; and make friends; for you are now my two young grown…ups。

I have been telling Woldemar that you are just starting on your

careers; whereas my day is ended。 You are old enough now to walk

by yourselves; but; whenever you wish to confide in me; pray do

so; for I am no longer your nurse; but your friend。 At least; I

will be your friend and comrade and adviser as much as I can and

more than that I cannot do。 How does that fall in with your

philosophy; eh; Koko? Well or ill; eh?〃



Of course I said that it fell in with it entirely; and; indeed; I

really thought so。 That morning Papa had a particularly winning;

bright; and happy expression on his face; and these new relations

between us; as of equals and comrades; made me love him all the

more。



〃Now; tell me;〃 he went on; 〃did you call upon all our kinsfolk

and the Iwins? Did you see the old man; and what did he say to

you? And did you go to Prince Ivan's?〃



We continued talking so long that; before we were fully dressed;

the sun had left the window of the divannaia; and Jakoff (the

same old man who of yore had twirled his fingers behind his back

and always repeated his words) had entered the room and reported

to Papa that the carriage was ready。



〃Where are you going to?〃 I asked Papa。



〃Oh; I had forgotten all about it!〃 he replied; with a cough and

the usual hoisting of his shoulder。 〃I promised to go and call

upon Epifanova to…day。 You remember Epifanova'la belle

Flamande'don't you; who used to come and see your Mamma? They

are nice people。〃 And with a self…conscious shrug of his

shoulders (so it appeared to me) Papa left the room。



During our conversation; Lubotshka had more than once come to the

door and asked 〃Can I come in?〃 but Papa had always shouted to

her that she could not do so; since we were not dressed yet。



〃What rubbish!〃 she replied。 〃Why; I have seen you in your

dressing…gown。〃



〃Never mind; you cannot see your brothers without their

inexpressibles;〃 rejoined Papa。 〃If they each of them just go to

the door; let that be enough for you。 Now go。 Even for them to

SPEAK to you in such a neglige costume is unbecoming。〃



〃How unbearable you are!〃 was Lubotshka's parting retort。 〃Well;

at least hurry up and come down to the drawing…room; for Mimi

wants to see them。〃



As soon as Papa had left the room; I hastened to array myself in

my student's uniform; and to repair to the drawing…room。



Woloda; on the other hand; was in no hurry; but remained sitting

on his bed and talking to Jakoff about the best places to find

plover and snipe。 As I have said; there was nothing in the world

he so much feared as to be suspected of any affection for his

father; brother; and sister; so that; to escape any expression of

that feeling; he often fell into the other extreme; and affected

a coldness which shocked people who did not comprehend its cause。

In the hall; I collided with Papa; who was hurrying towards the

carriage with short; rapid steps。 He had a new and fashionable

Moscow greatcoat on; and smelt of scent。 On seeing me; he gave a

cheerful nod; as much as to say; 〃Do you remark my splendour?〃

and once again I was struck with the happy expression of face

which I had noted earlier in the morning。



The drawing…room looked the same lofty; bright room as of Yore;

with its brown English piano; and its large open windows looking

on to the green trees and yellowish…red paths of the garden。


After kissing Mimi and Lubotshka; I was approaching Katenka for

the same purpose when it suddenly struck me that it might be

improper for me to salute her in that fashion。 Accordingly I

halted; silent and blushing。 Katenka; for her part; was quite at

her ease as she held out a white hand to me and congratulated me

on my passing into the University。 The same thing took place when

Woloda entered the drawing…room and met Katenka。 Indeed; it was

something of a problem how; after being brought up together and

seeing one another daily; we ought now; after this first

separation; to meet again。 Katenka had grown better…looking than

any of us; yet Woloda seemed not at all confused as; with a

slight bow to her; he crossed over to Lubotshka; made a jesting

remark to her; and then departed somewhere on some solitary

expedition。



XXIX



RELATIONS BETWEEN THE GIRLS AND OURSELVES



OF the girls Woloda took the strange view that; although he

wished that they should have enough to eat; should sleep well; be

well dressed; and avoid making such mistakes in French as would

shame him before strangers; he would never admit that they could

think or feel like human beings; still less that they could

converse with him sensibly about anything。 Whenever they

addressed to him a serious question (a thing; by the way; which

he always tried to avoid); such as asking his opinion on a novel

or inquiring about his doings at the University; he invariably

pulled a grimace; and either turned away without speaking or

answered with some nonsensical French phrase〃Comme c'est tres

jolie!〃 or the like。 Or again; feigning to look serious and

stolidly wise; he would say something absolutely meaningless and

bearing no relation whatever to the question asked him; or else

suddenly exclaim; with a look of pretended unconsciousness; the

word bulku or poyechali or kapustu; 'Respectively; 〃 roll of

butter;〃 〃away;〃 and 〃 cabbage。〃' or something of the kind; and

when; afterwards; I happened to repeat these words to him as

having been told me by Lubotshka or Katenka; he would always

remark:



〃Hm! So you actually care about talki
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