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silently to the sway of life's falseness and depravity； so often
raised a sudden； bold protest against all iniquity； as well as
mercilessly exposed the past； commanded； nay； compelled； me to
love only the pure vista of the present； and promised me all that
was fair and happy in the future！ O good and consoling voice！
Surely the day will never come when you are silent？
IV
OUR FAMILY CIRCLE
PAPA was seldom at home that spring。 Yet； whenever he was so； he
seemed extraordinarily cheerful as he either strummed his
favourite pieces on the piano or looked roguishly at us and made
jokes about us all； not excluding even Mimi。 For instance； he
would say that the Tsarevitch himself had seen Mimi at the rink；
and fallen so much in love with her that he had presented a
petition to the Synod for divorce； or else that I had been
granted an appointment as secretary to the Austrian ambassador
a piece of news which he imparted to us with a perfectly grave
face。 Next； he would frighten Katenka with some spiders （of which
she was very much afraid）； engage in an animated conversation
with our friends Dubkoff and Nechludoff； and tell us and our
guests； over and over again； his plans for the year。 Although
these plans changed almost from day to day； and
were for ever contradicting one another； they seemed so
attractive that we were always glad to listen to them； and
Lubotshka； in particular； would glue her eyes to his face； so as
not to lose a single word。 One day his plan would be that he
should leave my brother and myself at the University； and go and
live with Lubotshka in Italy for two years。 Next； the plan would
be that he should buy an estate on the south coast of the Crimea；
and take us for an annual visit there； next； that we should
migrate en masse to St。 Petersburg； and so forth。 Yet； in
addition to this unusual cheerfulness of his； another change had
come over him of latea change which greatly surprised me。 This
was that he had had some fashionable clothes madean olive…
coloured frockcoat； smart trousers with straps at the sides； and
a long wadded greatcoat which fitted him to perfection。 Often；
too； there was a delightful smell of scent about him when he came
home from a partymore especially when he had been to see a lady
of whom Mimi never spoke but with a sigh and a face that seemed
to say： 〃Poor orphans！ How dreadful！ It is a good thing that SHE
is gone now！〃 and so on； and so on。 From Nicola （for Papa never
spoke to us of his gambling） I had learnt that he （Papa） had been
very fortunate in play that winter； and so had won an
extraordinary amount of money； all of which he had placed in the
bank after vowing that he would play no more that spring。
Evidently； it was his fear of being unable to resist again doing
so that was rendering him anxious to leave for the country as
soon as possible。 Indeed； he ended by deciding not to wait until
I had entered the University； but to take the girls to Petrovskoe
immediately after Easter； and to leave Woloda and myself to
follow them at a later season。
All that winter； until the opening of spring； Woloda had been
inseparable from Dubkoff； while at the same time the pair of them
had cooled greatly towards Dimitri。 Their chief amusements （so I
gathered from conversations overheard） were continual drinking of
champagne； sledge…driving past the windows of a lady with whom
both of them appeared to be in love； and dancing with hernot at
children's parties； either； but at real balls！ It was this last
fact which； despite our love for one another； placed a vast gulf
between Woloda and myself。 We felt that the distance between a
boy still taking lessons under a tutor and a man who danced at
real； grown…up balls was too great to allow of their exchanging
mutual ideas。 Katenka； too； seemed grown…up now； and read
innumerable novels； so that the idea that she would some day be
getting married no longer seemed to me a joke。 Yet； though she
and Woloda were thus grown…up； they never made friends with one
another； but； on the contrary； seemed to cherish a mutual
contempt。 In general； when Katenka was at home alone； nothing but
novels amused her； and they but slightly； but as soon as ever a
visitor of the opposite sex called； she at once grew lively and
amiable； and used her eyes for saying things which I could not
then understand。 It was only later； when she one day informed me
in conversation that the only thing a girl was allowed to indulge
in was coquetrycoquetry of the eyes； I meanthat I understood
those strange contortions of her features which to every one else
had seemed a matter for no surprise at all。 Lubotshka also had
begun to wear what was almost a long dressa dress which almost
concealed her goose…shaped feet； yet she still remained as ready
a weeper as ever。 She dreamed now of marrying； not a hussar； but
a singer or an instrumentalist； and accordingly applied herself
to her music with greater diligence than ever。 St。 Jerome； who
knew that he was going to remain with us only until my
examinations were over； and so had obtained for himself a new
post in the family of some count or another； now looked with
contempt upon the members of our household。 He stayed indoors
very little； took to smoking cigarettes （then all the rage）； and
was for ever whistling lively tunes on the edge of a card。 Mimi
daily grew more and more despondent； as though； now that we were
beginning to grow up； she looked for nothing good from any one or
anything。
When； on the day of which I am speaking； I went in to luncheon I
found only Mimi； Katenka； Lubotshka； and St。 Jerome in the
dining…room。 Papa was away； and Woloda in his own room； doing
some preparation work for his examinations in company with a
party of his comrades： wherefore he had requested that lunch
should be sent to him there。 Of late； Mimi had usually taken the
head of the table； and as none of us had any respect for her；
luncheon had lost most of its refinement and charm。 That is to
say； the meal was no longer what it had been in Mamma's or our
grandmother's time； namely； a kind of rite which brought all the
family together at a given hour and divided the day into two
halves。 We allowed ourselves to come in as late as the second
course； to drink wine in tumblers （St。 Jerome himself set us the
example）； to roll about on our chairs； to depart without saying
grace； and so on。 In fact； luncheon had ceased to be a family
ceremony。 In the old days at Petrovskoe； every one had been used
to wash and dress for the meal； and then to repair to the
drawing…room as the appointed hour （two o'clock） drew near； and
pass the time of waiting in lively conversation。 Just as the
clock in the servants' hall was beginning to whirr before
striking the hour； Foka would enter with noiseless footsteps； and；
throwing his napkin over his arm and assuming a dignified； rather
severe expression； would say in loud； measured tones： 〃Luncheon
is ready！〃 Thereupon； with pleased； cheerful faces； we would form
a processionthe elders going first and the juniors following；
and； with much rustling of starched petticoats and subdued
creaking of boots and shoeswould proceed to the dining…room；
where； still talking in undertones； the company would seat
themselves in their accustomed places。 Or； again； at Moscow； we
would all of us be standing before the table ready…laid in the
hall； talking quietly among ourselves as we waited for our
grandmother； whom the butler； Gabriel； had gone to acquaint with
the fact that luncheon was ready。 Suddenly the door would open；
there would come the faint swish of a dress and the sound of
footsteps； and our grandmotherdressed in a mob…cap trimmed with
a quaint old lilac bow； and wearing either a smile or a severe
expression on her face according as the state of her health
inclined herwould issue from her room。 Gabriel would hasten to
precede her to her arm…chair； the other chairs would make a
scraping sound； and； with a feeling as though a cold shiver （the
precursor of appetite） were running down one's back； one would
seize upon one's damp； starched napkin； nibble a morsel or two of
bread； and； rubbing one's hands softly under the table； gaze with
eager； radiant impatience at the steaming plates of soup which
the butler was beginning to dispense in order of ranks and ages
or according to the favour of our grandmother。
On the present occasion； however； I was conscious of neither
excitement nor pleasure when I went in to luncheon。 Even the
mingled chatter of Mimi； the girls； and St。 Jerome about the
horrible boots of our Russian tutor； the pleated dresses worn by
the young Princesses Kornakoff； and so forth （chatter which at
any other time would have filled me with a sincerity of contempt
which I should have been at no pains to concealat all events so
far as Lubotshka and Katenka were concerned）； failed to shake the
benevolent frame of mind i