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should have liked best。 A Shetland pony was produced instead。 I
remembered my Natural History； I recalled popular report； and I got on the
little beast's back； as any other man would have done in my position；
placing implicit confidence in the sureness of his feet。 And how did he
repay that confidence？ Brother Francis； carry your mind on from morning
to noon。 Picture to yourself a howling wilderness of grass and bog；
bounded by low stony hills。 Pick out one particular spot in that
imaginary scene； and sketch me in it； with outstretched arms； curved back；
and heels in the air； plunging headforemost into a black patch of water and
mud。 Place just behind me the legs； the body； and the head of a sure…
footed Shetland pony； all stretched flat on the ground； and you will have
produced an accurate representation of a very lamentable fact。 And the
moral device； Francis； of this picture will be to testify that when
gentlemen put confidence in the legs of Shetland ponies； they will find to
their cost that they are leaning on nothing but broken reeds。 There is my
first instance … and what have you got to say to that？'
'Nothing； but that I want my hat；' answered Goodchild； starting up and
walking restlessly about the room。
'You shall have it in a minute；' rejoined Thomas。 'My second
instance' … （Goodchild groaned； and sat down again） … 'My second instance
is more appropriate to the present time and place； for it refers to a race…
horse。 Two years ago an excellent friend of mine； who was desirous of
prevailing on me to take regular exercise； and who was well enough
acquainted with the weakness of my legs to expect no very active
compliance with his wishes on their part； offered to make me a present of
one of his horses。 Hearing that the animal in question had started in life
on the turf； I declined accepting the gift with many thanks； adding； by way
of explanation； that I looked on a race…horse as a kind of embodied
hurricane； upon which no sane man of my character and habits could be
expected to seat himself。 My friend replied that； however appropriate my
metaphor might be as applied to race…horses in general； it was singularly
unsuitable as applied to the particular horse which he proposed to give me。
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From a foal upwards this remarkable animal had been the idlest and most
sluggish of his race。 Whatever capacities for speed he might possess he
had kept so strictly to himself； that no amount of training had ever brought
them out。 He had been found hopelessly slow as a racer； and hopelessly
lazy as a hunter； and was fit for nothing but a quiet； easy life of it with an
old gentleman or an invalid。 When I heard this account of the horse； I
don't mind confessing that my heart warmed to him。 Visions of Thomas
Idle ambling serenely on the back of a steed as lazy as himself； presenting
to a restless world the soothing and composite spectacle of a kind of
sluggardly Centaur； too peaceable in his habits to alarm anybody； swam
attractively before my eyes。 I went to look at the horse in the stable。
Nice fellow！ he was fast asleep with a kitten on his back。 I saw him
taken out for an airing by the groom。 If he had had trousers on his legs I
should not have known them from my own； so deliberately were they
lifted up； so gently were they put down； so slowly did they get over the
ground。 From that moment I gratefully accepted my friend's offer。 I went
home； the horse followed me … by a slow train。 Oh； Francis； how
devoutly I believed in that horse I how carefully I looked after all his little
comforts！ I had never gone the length of hiring a man…servant to wait on
myself； but I went to the expense of hiring one to wait upon him。 If I
thought a little of myself when I bought the softest saddle that could be
had for money； I thought also of my horse。 When the man at the shop
afterwards offered me spurs and a whip； I turned from him with horror。
When I sallied out for my first ride； I went purposely unarmed with the
means of hurrying my steed。 He proceeded at his own pace every step of
the way； and when he stopped； at last； and blew out both his sides with a
heavy sigh； and turned his sleepy head and looked behind him； I took him
home again； as I might take home an artless child who said to me； 〃If you
please； sir； I am tired。〃 For a week this complete harmony between me
and my horse lasted undisturbed。 At the end of that time； when he had
made quite sure of my friendly confidence in his laziness； when he had
thoroughly acquainted himself with all the little weaknesses of my seat
（and their name is Legion）； the smouldering treachery and ingratitude of
the equine nature blazed out in an instant。 Without the slightest
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provocation from me； with nothing passing him at the time but a pony…
chaise driven by an old lady； he started in one instant from a state of
sluggish depression to a state of frantic high spirits。 He kicked； he
plunged； he shied； he pranced； he capered fearfully。 I sat on him as long
as I could； and when I could sit no longer； I fell off。 No； Francis！ this is not
a circumstance to be laughed at； but to be wept over。 What would be said
of a Man who had requited my kindness in that way？ Range over all the
rest of the animal creation； and where will you find me an instance of
treachery so black as this？ The cow that kicks down the milking…pail
may have some reason for it； she may think herself taxed too heavily to
contribute to the dilution of human tea and the greasing of human bread。
The tiger who springs out on me unawares has the excuse of being hungry
at the time； to say nothing of the further justification of being a total
stranger to me。 The very flea who surprises me in my sleep may defend
his act of assassination on the ground that I； in my turn； am always ready
to murder him when I am awake。 I defy the whole body of Natural
Historians to move me； logically； off the ground that I have taken in regard
to the horse。 Receive back your hat； Brother Francis； and go to the
chemist's； if you please； for I have now done。 Ask me to take anything
you like； except an interest in the Doncaster races。 Ask me to look at
anything you like； except an assemblage of people all animated by feelings
of a friendly and admiring nature towards the horse。 You are a
remarkably well…informed man； and you have heard of hermits。 Look upon
me as a member of that ancient fraternity； and you will sensibly add to the
many obligations which Thomas Idle is proud to owe to Francis
Goodchild。'
Here； fatigued by the effort of excessive talking； disputatious Thomas
waved one hand languidly； laid his head back on the sofa… pillow； and
calmly closed his eyes。
At a later period； Mr。 Goodchild assailed his travelling companion
boldly from the impregnable fortress of common sense。 But Thomas；
though tamed in body by drastic discipline； was still as mentally
unapproachable as ever on the subject of his favourite delusion。
The view from the window after Saturday's breakfast is altogether
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changed。 The tradesmen's families have all come back again。 The
serious stationer's young woman of all work is shaking a duster out of the
window of the combination breakfast…room； a child is playing with a doll；
where Mr。 Thurtell's hair was b