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Well； he was to know within the week； for though she kept him a while at bay； left him restless and wretched during a series of days on each of which he asked about her only again to have to turn away； she ended his trial by receiving him where she had always received him。 Yet she had been brought out at some hazard into the presence of so many of the things that were； consciously； vainly； half their past； and there was scant service left in the gentleness of her mere desire； all too visible； to check his obsession and wind up his long trouble。 That was clearly what she wanted； the one thing more for her own peace while she could still put out her hand。 He was so affected by her state that； once seated by her chair； he was moved to let everything go； it was she herself therefore who brought him back； took up again； before she dismissed him； her last word of the other time。 She showed how she wished to leave their business in order。 〃I'm not sure you understood。 You've nothing to wait for more。 It HAS come。〃
Oh how he looked at her！ 〃Really？〃
〃Really。〃
〃The thing that； as you said； WAS to？〃
〃The thing that we began in our youth to watch for。〃
Face to face with her once more he believed her； it was a claim to which he had so abjectly little to oppose。 〃You mean that it has come as a positive definite occurrence； with a name and a date？〃
〃Positive。 Definite。 I don't know about the 'name；' but； oh with a date！〃
He found himself again too helplessly at sea。 〃But come in the nightcome and passed me by？〃
May Bartram had her strange faint smile。 〃Oh no； it hasn't passed you by！〃
〃But if I haven't been aware of it and it hasn't touched me？〃
〃Ah your not being aware of it〃and she seemed to hesitate an instant to deal with this〃your not being aware of it is the strangeness in the strangeness。 It's the wonder OF the wonder。〃 She spoke as with the softness almost of a sick child； yet now at last； at the end of all； with the perfect straightness of a sibyl。 She visibly knew that she knew； and the effect on him was of something co…ordinate； in its high character； with the law that had ruled him。 It was the true voice of the law； so on her lips would the law itself have sounded。 〃It HAS touched you；〃 she went on。 〃It has done its office。 It has made you all its own。〃
〃So utterly without my knowing it？〃
〃So utterly without your knowing it。〃 His hand； as he leaned to her； was on the arm of her chair； and； dimly smiling always now； she placed her own on it。 〃It's enough if I know it。〃
〃Oh！〃 he confusedly breathed； as she herself of late so often had done。
〃What I long ago said is true。 You'll never know now； and I think you ought to be content。 You've HAD it；〃 said May Bartram。
〃But had what？〃
〃Why what was to have marked you out。 The proof of your law。 It has acted。 I'm too glad；〃 she then bravely added； 〃to have been able to see what it's NOT。〃
He continued to attach his eyes to her； and with the sense that it was all beyond him； and that SHE was too； he would still have sharply challenged her hadn't he so felt it an abuse of her weakness to do more than take devoutly what she gave him； take it hushed as to a revelation。 If he did speak； it was out of the foreknowledge of his loneliness to come。 〃If you're glad of what it's 'not' it might then have been worse？〃
She turned her eyes away； she looked straight before her； with which after a moment： 〃Well； you know our fears。〃
He wondered。 〃It's something then we never feared？〃
On this slowly she turned to him。 〃Did we ever dream； with all our dreams； that we should sit and talk of it thus？〃
He tried for a little to make out that they had； but it was as if their dreams； numberless enough； were in solution in some thick cold mist through which thought lost itself。 〃It might have been that we couldn't talk。〃
〃Well〃she did her best for him〃not from this side。 This； you see；〃 she said； 〃is the OTHER side。〃
〃I think；〃 poor Marcher returned； 〃that all sides are the same to me。〃 Then； however； as she gently shook her head in correction： 〃We mightn't； as it were； have got across？〃
〃To where we areno。 We're HERE〃she made her weak emphasis。
〃And much good does it do us！〃 was her friend's frank comment。
〃It does us the good it can。 It does us the good that IT isn't here。 It's past。 It's behind；〃 said May Bartram。 〃Before〃 but her voice dropped。
He had got up； not to tire her； but it was hard to combat his yearning。 She after all told him nothing but that his light had failedwhich he knew well enough without her。 〃Before？〃 he blankly echoed。
〃Before you see； it was always to COME。 That kept it present。〃
〃Oh I don't care what comes now！ Besides；〃 Marcher added； 〃it seems to me I liked it better present； as you say； than I can like it absent with YOUR absence。〃
〃Oh mine！〃and her pale hands made light of it。
〃With the absence of everything。〃 He had a dreadful sense of standing there before her forso far as anything but this proved； this bottomless drop was concernedthe last time of their life。 It rested on him with a weight he felt he could scarce bear； and this weight it apparently was that still pressed out what remained in him of speakable protest。 〃I believe you； but I can't begin to pretend I understand。 NOTHING； for me； is past； nothing WILL pass till I pass myself； which I pray my stars may be as soon as possible。 Say； however；〃 he added； 〃that I've eaten my cake； as you contend； to the last crumbhow can the thing I've never felt at all be the thing I was marked out to feel？〃
She met him perhaps less directly； but she met him unperturbed。 〃You take your 'feelings' for granted。 You were to suffer your fate。 That was not necessarily to know it。〃
〃How in the worldwhen what is such knowledge but suffering？〃
She looked up at him a while in silence。 〃Noyou don't understand。〃
〃I suffer；〃 said John Marcher。
〃Don't； don't！〃
〃How can I help at least THAT？〃
〃DON'T！〃 May Bartram repeated。
She spoke it in a tone so special； in spite of her weakness； that he stared an instantstared as if some light； hitherto hidden； had shimmered across his vision。 Darkness again closed over it； but the gleam had already become for him an idea。 〃Because I haven't the right？〃
〃Don't KNOWwhen you needn't；〃 she mercifully urged。 〃You needn'tfor we shouldn't。〃
〃Shouldn't？〃 If he could but know what she meant！
〃Noit's too much。〃
〃Too much？〃 he still asked but with a mystification that was the next moment of a sudden to give way。 Her words； if they meant something； affected him in this lightthe light also of her wasted faceas meaning ALL； and the sense of what knowledge had been for herself came over him with a rush which broke through into a question。 〃Is it of that then you're dying？〃
She but watched him； gravely at first； as to see； with this； where he was； and she might have seen something or feared something that moved her sympathy。 〃I would live for you stillif I could。〃 Her eyes closed for a little； as if； withdrawn into herself； she were for a last time trying。 〃But I can't！〃 she said as she raised them again to take leave of him。
She couldn't indeed； as but too promptly and sharply appeared； and he had no vision of her after this that was anything but darkness and doom。 They had parted for ever in that strange talk； access to her chamber of pain； rigidly guarded； was almost wholly forbidden him； he was feeling now moreover； in the face of doctors； nurses； the two or three relatives attracted doubtless by the presumption of what she had to 〃leave；〃 how few were the rights； as they were called in such cases； that he had to put forward； and how odd it might even seem that their intimacy shouldn't have given him more of them。 The stupidest fourth cousin had more； even though she had been nothing in such a person's life。 She had been a feature of features in HIS； for what else was it to have been so indispensable？ Strange beyond saying were the ways of existence； baffling for him the anomaly of his lack； as he felt it to be； of producible claim。 A woman might have been； as it were； everything to him； and it might yet present him； in no connexion that any one seemed held to recognise。 If this was the case in these closing weeks it was the case more sharply on the occasion of the last offices rendered； in the great grey London cemetery； to what had been mortal； to what had been precious； in his friend。 The concourse at her grave was not numerous； but he saw himself treated as scarce more nearly concerned with it than if there had been a thousand others。 He was in short from this moment face to face with the fact that he was to profit extraordinarily little by the interest May Bartram had taken in him。 He couldn't quite have said what he expected； but he hadn't surely expected this approach to a double privation。 Not only had her interest failed him； but he seemed to feel himself unattendedand for a reason he couldn't seizeby the distinction； the dignity； the propriety； if nothing else； of the man markedly bereaved。 It was as if； in the view of society he had not BEEN markedly bereaved； as if there still failed some sign or proof of it； and as if none