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act of the Sarmatian horse…tamer； on eight steeds；〃 which we were
all of us longing to see。 The horse…tamer； to music twenty miles
an hour； rushed in on four of his horses； leading the other four；
and skurried round the ring。 You couldn't see him for the sawdust；
but everybody was delighted； and applauded like mad。 Presently；
you saw there were only three horses in front： he had slipped one
more between his legs； another followed； and it was clear that the
consequences would be fatal； if he admitted any more。 The people
applauded more than ever； and when； at last； seven and eight were
made to go in； not wholly； but sliding dexterously in and out； with
the others； so that you did not know which was which； the house； I
thought； would come down with applause； and the Sarmatian horse…
tamer bowed his great feathers to the ground。 At last the music
grew slower； and he cantered leisurely round the ring； bending；
smirking； seesawing； waving his whip； and laying his hand on his
heart； just as we have seen the Ashley's people do。 But fancy our
astonishment when； suddenly； this Sarmatian horse…tamer； coming
round with his four pair at a canter； and being opposite our box；
gave a start； and ahupp！ which made all his horses stop stock…
still at an instant。
〃Albert！〃 screamed my dear Jemmy： 〃Albert！ Bahbahbahbaron！〃 The
Sarmatian looked at her for a minute； and turning head over heels；
three times； bolted suddenly off his horses； and away out of our
sight。
It was HIS EXCELLENCY THE BARON DE PUNTER！
Jemmy went off in a fit as usual； and we never saw the Baron again；
but we heard； afterwards； that Punter was an apprentice of
Franconi's； and had run away to England； thinking to better
himself； and had joined Mr。 Richardson's army； but Mr。 Richardson；
and then London； did not agree with him； and we saw the last of him
as he sprung over the barriers at the Tuggeridgeville tournament。
〃Well； Jemimarann；〃 says Jemmy； in a fury； 〃you shall marry Tagrag；
and if I can't have a baroness for a daughter； at least you shall
be a baronet's lady。〃 Poor Jemimarann only sighed： she knew it was
of no use to remonstrate。
Paris grew dull to us after this； and we were more eager than ever
to go back to London： for what should we hear； but that that
monster； Tuggeridge； of the Cityold Tug's black son； forsooth！
was going to contest Jemmy's claim to the property； and had filed I
don't know how many bills against us in Chancery！ Hearing this； we
set off immediately； and we arrived at Boulogne； and set off in
that very same 〃Grand Turk〃 which had brought us to France。
If you look in the bills； you will see that the steamers leave
London on Saturday morning； and Boulogne on Saturday night； so that
there is often not an hour between the time of arrival and
departure。 Bless us！ bless us！ I pity the poor Captain that； for
twenty…four hours at a time； is on a paddle…box； roaring out； 〃Ease
her！ Stop her！〃 and the poor servants； who are laying out
breakfast； lunch； dinner； tea； supper；breakfast； lunch； dinner；
tea； supper again；for layers upon layers of travellers； as it
were； and most of all； I pity that unhappy steward； with those
unfortunate tin…basins that he must always keep an eye over。
Little did we know what a storm was brooding in our absence； and
little were we prepared for the awful； awful fate that hung over
our Tuggeridgeville property。
Biggs； of the great house of Higgs； Biggs； and Blatherwick； was our
man of business： when I arrived in London I heard that he had just
set off to Paris after me。 So we started down to Tuggeridgeville
instead of going to Portland Place。 As we came through the lodge…
gates； we found a crowd assembled within them； and there was that
horrid Tuggeridige on horseback； with a shabby…looking man； called
Mr。 Scapgoat； and his man of business； and many more。 〃Mr。
Scapgoat；〃 says Tuggeridge； grinning； and handing him over a sealed
paper； 〃here's the lease； I leave you in possession； and wish you
good morning。〃
〃In possession of what？〃 says the rightful lady of Tuggeridgeville；
leaning out of the carriage…window。 She hated black Tuggeridge； as
she called him； like poison： the very first week of our coming to
Portland Place； when he called to ask restitution of some plate
which he said was his private property； she called him a base…born
blackamoor； and told him to quit the house。 Since then there had
been law squabbles between us without end； and all sorts of
writings； meetings； and arbitrations。
〃Possession of my estate of Tuggeridgeville； madam；〃 roars he；
〃left me by my father's will； which you have had notice of these
three weeks； and know as well as I do。〃
〃Old Tug left no will；〃 shrieked Jemmy； 〃he didn't die to leave his
estates to blackamoorsto negroesto base…born mulatto story…
tellers； if he did may I be …〃
〃Oh； hush！ dearest mamma；〃 says Jemimarann。 〃Go it again； mother！〃
says Tug； who is always sniggering。
〃What is this business； Mr。 Tuggeridge？〃 cried Tagrag （who was the
only one of our party that had his senses）。 〃What is this will？〃
〃Oh； it's merely a matter of form；〃 said the lawyer； riding up。
〃For heaven's sake； madam； be peaceable； let my friends； Higgs；
Biggs； and Blatherwick； arrange with me。 I am surprised that none
of their people are here。 All that you have to do is to eject us；
and the rest will follow； of course。〃
〃Who has taken possession of this here property？〃 roars Jemmy；
again。
〃My friend Mr。 Scapgoat；〃 said the lawyer。Mr。 Scapgoat grinned。
〃Mr。 Scapgoat；〃 said my wife； shaking her fist at him （for she is a
woman of no small spirit）； 〃if you don't leave this ground I'll
have you pushed out with pitchforks； I willyou and your beggarly
blackamoor yonder。〃 And； suiting the action to the word； she
clapped a stable fork into the hands of one of the gardeners； and
called another； armed with a rake； to his help； while young Tug set
the dog at their heels； and I hurrahed for joy to see such villany
so properly treated。
〃That's sufficient； ain't it？〃 said Mr。 Scapgoat； with the calmest
air in the world。 〃Oh； completely；〃 said the lawyer。 〃Mr。
Tuggeridge； we've ten miles to dinner。 Madam； your very humble
servant。〃 And the whole posse of them rode away。
LAW LIFE ASSURANCE。
We knew not what this meant； until we received a strange document
from Higgs； in Londonwhich begun； 〃Middlesex to wit。 Samuel Cox；
late of Portland Place； in the city of Westminster； in the said
county； was attached to answer Samuel Scapgoat； of a plea；
wherefore； with force and arms； he entered into one messuage； with
the appurtenances； which John Tuggeridge； Esq。； demised to the said
Samuel Scapgoat； for a term which is not yet expired； and ejected
him。〃 And it went on to say that 〃we； with force of arms； viz；
with swords； knives； and staves； had ejected him。〃 Was there ever
such a monstrous falsehood？ when we did but stand in defence of our
own； and isn't it a sin that we should have been turned out of our
rightful possessions upon such a rascally plea？
Higgs； Biggs； and Blatherwick had evidently been bribed； for would
you believe it？they told us to give up possession at once； as a
will was found； and we could not defend the action。 My Jemmy
refused their proposal with scorn； and laughed at the notion of the
will： she pronounced it to be a forgery； a vile blackamoor forgery；
and believes； to this day； that the story of its having been made
thirty years ago； in Calcutta； and left there with old Tug's
papers； and found there； and brought to England； after a search
made by order of Tuggeridge junior； is a scandalous falsehood。
Well； the cause was tried。 Why need I say anything concerning it？
What shall I say of the Lord Chief Justice； but that he ought to be
ashamed of the wig he sits in？ What of Mr。 and Mr。 ； who
exerted their eloquence against justice and the poor？ On our side；
too； was no less a man than Mr。 Serjeant Binks； who； ashamed I am；
for the honor of the British bar； to say it； seemed to have been
bribed too： for he actually threw up his case！ Had he behaved like
Mr。 Mulligan； his juniorand to whom； in this humble way； I offer
my thanksall might have been well。 I never knew such an effect
produced； as when Mr。 Mulligan； appearing for the first time in
that court； said； 〃Standing here upon the pidestal of secred
Thamis； seeing around me the arnymints of a profission I rispict；
having before me a vinnerable judge； and an enlightened jurythe
counthry's glory； the netion's cheap defender； the poor man's
priceless palladium： how must I thrimble； my lard； how must the
blush bejew my cheek〃（somebody cried out； 〃O CHEEKS！〃 In the
court there was a dreadful roar of laughing； and when order was
established； Mr。 Mulligan continued：）〃My lard； I heed them not； I
come from a counthry accustomed to opprission； an