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thought not of thee。
It happened thus。 Miss Amethyst being engaged to drive with her
cousin the prince in his phaeton； her own carriage was sent into
the Park simply with her companion； who had charge of her little
Fido； the dearest little spaniel in the world。 Jeames and
Frederick were behind the carriage with their long sticks and neat
dark liveries； the horses were worth a thousand guineas each； the
coachman a late lieutenant…colonel of cavalry： the whole ring could
not boast a more elegant turn…out。
The prince drove his curricle； and had charge of his belle cousine。
It may have been the red fezzes in the carriage of the Turkish
ambassador which frightened the prince's grays； or Mrs。 Champignon's
new yellow liveries； which were flaunting in the Park； or hideous
Lady Gorgon's preternatural ugliness； who passed in a low
pony…carriage at the time； or the prince's own want of skill；
finally； but certain it is that the horses took fright； dashed
wildly along the mile； scattered equipages； pietons； dandies' cabs；
and snobs' pheaytons。 Amethyst was screaming； and the prince；
deadly pale； had lost all presence of mind； as the curricle came
rushing by the spot where Miss Amethyst's carriage stood。
〃I'm blest；〃 Frederick exclaimed to his companion； 〃if it ain't the
prince a…drivin our missis！ They'll be in the Serpingtine； or
dashed to pieces； if they don't mind。〃 And the runaway steeds at
this instant came upon them as a whirlwind。
But if those steeds ran at a whirlwind pace； Jeames was swifter。
To jump from behind； to bound after the rocking； reeling curricle；
to jump into it； aided by the long stick which he carried and used
as a leaping…pole； and to seize the reins out of the hands of the
miserable Borodino； who shrieked piteously as the dauntless valet
leapt on his toes and into his seat； was the work of an instant。
In a few minutes the mad； swaying rush of the horses was reduced to
a swift but steady gallop； presently into a canter； then a trot；
until finally they pulled up smoking and trembling； but quite
quiet； by the side of Amethyst's carriage； which came up at a rapid
pace。
〃Give me the reins； malappris！ tu m'ecrases le corps； manant！〃
yelled the frantic nobleman； writhing underneath the intrepid
charioteer。
〃Tant pis pour toi； nigaud；〃 was the reply。 The lovely Amethyst of
course had fainted； but she recovered as she was placed in her
carriage； and rewarded her preserver with a celestial smile。
The rage； the fury； the maledictions of Borodino； as he saw the
lattera liveried menialstoop gracefully forward and kiss
Amethyst's hand； may be imagined rather than described。 But Jeames
heeded not his curses。 Having placed his adored mistress in the
carriage； he calmly resumed his station behind。 Passion or danger
seemed to have no impression upon that pale marble face。
Borodino went home furious； nor was his rage diminished； when； on
coming to dinner that day； a recherche banquet served in the
Frangipane best style； and requesting a supply of a puree a la
bisque aux ecrevisses； the clumsy attendant who served him let fall
the assiette of vermeille cisele； with its scalding contents； over
the prince's chin； his Mechlin jabot； and the grand cordon of the
Legion of honor which he wore。
〃Infame；〃 howled Borodino； 〃tu l'as fait expres！〃
〃Oui； je l'ai fait expres；〃 said the man； with the most perfect
Parisian accent。 It was Jeames。
Such insolence of course could not be passed unnoticed even after
the morning's service； and he was chassed on the spot。 He had been
but a week in the house。
The next month the newspapers contained a paragraph which may
possibly elucidate the above mystery； and to the following effect：
〃Singular Wager。One night； at the end of last season； the young
and eccentric Earl of B…gn…gge laid a wager of twenty…five thousand
pounds with a broken sporting patrician； the dashing Marquis of
M…rt…ng…le； that he would pass a week under the roof of a celebrated
and lovely young heiress； who lives not a hundred miles from
B…lgr…ve Squ…re。 The bet having been made； the earl pretended an
illness； and having taken lessons from one of his lordship's own
footmen （Mr。 James Plush； whose name he also borrowed） in 'the
MYSTERIES of the PROFESSION；' actually succeeded in making an entry
into Miss P…ml…co's mansion； where he stopped one week exactly；
having time to win his bet； and to save the life of the lady； whom
we hear he is about to lead to the altar。 He disarmed the Prince
of Borodino in a duel fought on Calais sandsand； it is said；
appeared at the C club wearing his PLUSH COSTUME under a cloak；
and displaying it as a proof that he had won his wager。〃
Such； indeed； were the circumstances。 The young couple have not
more than nine hundred thousand a year； but they live cheerfully；
and manage to do good； and Emily de Pentonville； who adores her
daughter…in…law and her little grandchildren； is blest in seeing
her darling son enfin un homme range。
CRINOLINE。
BY JE…MES PL…SH； ESQ。
I。
I'm not at libbaty to divulj the reel names of the 2 Eroes of the
igstrawny Tail which I am abowt to relait to those unlightnd
paytrons of letarature and true connyshures of merritthe great
Brittish publicBut I pledj my varacity that this singlar story of
rewmantic love； absobbing pashn； and likewise of GENTEEL LIFE； is；
in the main fax； TREW。 The suckmstanzas I elude to； ocurd in the
rain of our presnt Gratious Madjisty and her beluvd and roil
Concert Prince Halbert。
Welthen。 Some time in the seazen of 18 （mor I dar not rewheel）
there arrived in this metropulus； per seknd class of the London and
Dover Railway； an ellygant young foring gentleman； whom I shall
danomminate Munseer Jools De Chacabac。
Having read through 〃The Vicker of Wackfield〃 in the same oridganal
English tung in which this very harticle I write is wrote too； and
halways been remarkyble； both at collidge and in the estamminy； for
his aytred and orror of perfidgus Halbion； Munseer Jools was
considered by the prapriretors of the newspaper in which he wrote；
at Parris； the very man to come to this country； igsamin its
manners and customs； cast an i upon the politticle and finalshle
stat of the Hempire； and igspose the mackynations of the infyamous
Palmerston； and the ebomminable Sir Pillboth enemies of France；
as is every other Britten of that great； gloarus； libberal； and
peasable country。 In one word； Jools de Chacabac was a penny…a…
liner。
〃I will go see with my own I's；〃 he said； 〃that infimus hiland of
which the innabitants are shopkeepers； gorged with roast beef and
treason。 I will go and see the murderers of the Hirish； the
pisoners of the Chynese； the villians who put the Hemperor to death
in Saintyleany； the artful dodges who wish to smother Europe with
their cotton； and can't sleep or rest heasy for henvy and hatred of
the great inwinsable French nation。 I will igsammin； face to face；
these hotty insularies； I will pennytrate into the secrets of their
Jessywhittickle cabinet； and beard Palmerston in his denn。〃 When
he jumpt on shor at Foaxton （after having been tremenguously sick
in the fourcabbing）； he exclaimed； 〃Enfin je te tiens； Ile maudite！
je te crache a la figure； vieille Angleterre！ Je te foule a mes
pieds an nom du monde outrage；〃 and so proseaded to inwade the
metropulus。
As he wisht to micks with the very chicest sosiaty； and git the
best of infamation about this country； Munseer Jools of coarse went
and lodgd in Lester SquareLester Squarr； as he calls itwhich；
as he was infommed in the printed suckular presented to him by a
very greasy but polite comishner at the Custumus Stares； was in the
scenter of the town； contiggus to the Ouses of Parlyment； the
prinsple theayters； the parx； St。 Jams Pallice； and the Corts of
Lor。 〃I can surwhey them all at one cut of the eye；〃 Jools
thought； 〃the Sovring； the infamus Ministers plotting the
destruction of my immortial country； the business and pleasure of
these pusprond Londoners and aristoxy； I can look round and see
all。〃 So he took a three…pair back in a French hotel； the 〃Hotel
de l'Ail；〃 kep by Monsieur Gigotot； Cranbourne Street； Lester
Squarr； London。
In this otell there's a billiard…room on the first floor； and a
tabble…doat at eighteenpence peredd at 5 o'clock； and the landlord；
who kem into Jools's room smoaking a segar； told the young gent
that the house was friquented by all the Brittish nobillaty； who
reglar took their dinners there。 〃They can't ebide their own
quiseen；〃 he said。 〃You'll see what a dinner we'll serve you to…
day。〃 Jools wrote off to his paper
〃The members of the haughty and luxurious English aristocracy； like
all the rest of the world； are obliged to fly to France for the
indulgence of their luxuries。 The nobles of England； quitting
their