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indulgence of their luxuries。 The nobles of England； quitting
their homes； their wives； miladies and mistriss； so fair but so
cold； dine universally at the tavern。 That from which I write is
frequented by Peel and Palmerston。 I fremis to think that I may
meet them at the board to…day。〃
Singlar to say； Peel and Palmerston didn't dine at the 〃Hotel de
l'Ail〃 on that evening。 〃It's quite igstronnary they don't come；〃
said Munseer de l'Ail。
〃Peraps they're ingaged at some boxing…match or some combaw de
cock；〃 Munseer Jools sejested； and the landlord egreed that was
very likely。
Instedd of English there was； however； plenty of foring sociaty； of
every nation under the sun。 Most of the noblemen were great
hamatures of hale and porter。 The tablecloth was marked over with
brown suckles； made by the pewter…pots on that and the previous
days。
〃It is the usage here；〃 wrote Jools to his newspaper； 〃among the
Anglais of the fashonne to absorb immense quantities of ale and
porter during their meals。 These stupefying； but cheap； and not
unpalatable liquors are served in shining pewter vessels。 A mug of
foaming hafanaf （so a certain sort of beer is called） was placed by
the side of most of the convives。 I was disappointed of seeing Sir
Peel： he was engaged to a combat of cocks which occurs at Windsor。〃
Not one word of English was spoke during this dinner； excep when
the gentlemen said 〃Garsong de l'afanaf；〃 but Jool was very much
pleased to meet the eleet of the foringers in town； and ask their
opinion about the reel state of thinx。 Was it likely that the
bishops were to be turned out of the Chambre des Communes？ Was it
true that Lor Palmerston had boxed with Lor Broghamm in the House
of Lords； until they were sepparayted by the Lor Maire？ Who was
the Lor Maire？ Wasn't he Premier Minister？ and wasn't the
Archeveque de Cantorbery a Quaker？ He got answers to these
questions from the various gents round about during the dinner
which； he remarked； was very much like a French dinner； only
dirtier。 And he wrote off all the infamation he got to his
newspaper。
〃The Lord Maire； Lord Lansdowne； is Premier Ministre。 His Grace
has his dwelling in the City。 The Archbishop of Cantabery is not
turned Quaker； as some people stated。 Quakers may not marry； nor
sit in the Chamber of Peers。 The minor bishops have seats in
the House of Commons； where they are attacked by the bitter
pleasantries of Lord Brougham。 A boxer is in the house； he taught
Palmerston the science of the pugilate； who conferred upon him the
seat；〃 &c。 &c。
His writing hover； Jools came down and ad a gaym at pool with two
Poles； a Bulgian； and 2 of his own countrymen。 This being done
amidst more hafanaf； without which nothink is done in England； and
as there was no French play that night； he & the two French gents
walked round and round Lester Squarr smoking segaws in the faces of
other French gents who were smoaking 2。 And they talked about the
granjer of France and the perfidgusness of England； and looked at
the aluminated pictur of Madame Wharton as Haryadney till bedtime。
But befor he slep； he finished his letter you may be sure； and
called it his 〃Fust Imprestiuns of Anglyterre。〃
〃Mind and wake me early；〃 he said to Boots； the ony Brittish
subject in the 〃Hotel de l'Ail；〃 and who therefore didn't
understand him。 〃I wish to be at Smithfield at 6 hours to see THE
MEN SELL THEIR WIVES。〃 And the young roag fell asleep； thinking
what sort of a one he'd buy。
This was the way Jools passed his days； and got infamation about
Hengland and the Henglishwalking round and round Lester Squarr
all day； and every day with the same company； occasionally
dewussified by an Oprer Chorus…singer or a Jew or two； and every
afternoon in the Quadrant admiring the genteal sosiaty there。
Munseer Jools was not over well funnisht with pocket…money； and so
his pleasure was of the gratis sort cheafly。
Well； one day as he and a friend was taking their turn among the
aristoxy under the Quadrantthey were struck all of a heap by
seeing But； stop！ who WAS Jools's friend？ Here you have
pictures of bothbut the Istory of Jools's friend must be kep for
another innings。
II。
Not fur from that knowble and cheerflie Squear which Munseer Jools
de Chacabac had selacted for his eboad in Londonnot fur； I say；
from Lester Squarr； is a rainje of bildings called Pipping's
Buildings； leading to Blue Lion Court； leading to St。 Martin's
Lane。 You know Pipping's Buildings by its greatest ornament； an am
and beefouce （where Jools has often stood admiring the degstaraty
of the carver a…cuttin the varous jints）； and by the little
fishmungur's； where you remark the mouldy lobsters； the fly…blown
picklesammon； the playbills； and the gingybear bottles in the
windowabove all； by the 〃Constantinople〃 Divan； kep by the Misses
Mordeky； and well known to every lover of 〃a prime sigaw and an
exlent cup of reel Moky Coffy for 6d。〃
The Constantinople Divann is greatly used by the foring gents of
Lester Squar。 I never ad the good fortn to pass down Pipping's
Buildings without seeing a haf a duzen of 'em on the threshole of
the extablishment； giving the street an oppertunity of testing the
odar of the Misses Mordeky's prime Avannas。 Two or three mor may
be visable inside； settn on the counter or the chestis； indulging
in their fav'rit whead； the rich and spisy Pickwhick； the ripe
Manilly； or the flagrant and arheumatic Qby。
〃These Divanns are； as is very well known； the knightly resott of
the young Henglish nobillaty。 It is ear a young Pier； after an
arjus day at the House of Commons； solazes himself with a glas of
gin…and…water （the national beveridge）； with cheerful conversation
on the ewents of the day； or with an armless gaym of baggytell in
the back…parlor。〃
So wrote at least our friend Jools to his newspaper； the Horriflam；
and of this back…parlor and baggytell…bord； of this counter； of
this 〃Constantinople〃 Divan； he became almost as reglar a
frequenter as the plaster of Parish Turk who sits smoking a hookey
between the two blue coffee…cups in the winder。
I have oftin； smokin my own shroot in silents in a corner of the
Diwann； listened to Jools and his friends inwaying aginst Hingland；
and boastin of their own immortial country。 How they did go on
about Wellintun； and what an arty contamp they ad for him！how
they used to prove that France was the Light； the Scenter…pint； the
Igsample and hadmiration of the whole world！ And though I scarcely
take a French paper now…a…days （I lived in early days as groom in a
French famly three years； and therefore knows the languidg）；
though； I say； you can't take up Jools's paper； the Orriflam；
without readin that a minister has committed bribery and perjury；
or that a littery man has committed perjury and murder； or that a
Duke has stabbed his wife in fifty places； or some story equally
horrible； yet for all that it's admiral to see how the French gents
will swaggerhow they will be the scenters of civilizationhow
they will be the Igsamples of Europ； and nothink shall prevent 'em
knowing they will have it； I say I listen； smokin my pip in
silence。 But to our tail。
Reglar every evening there came to the 〃Constantanople〃 a young
gent etired in the igth of fashn； and indead presenting by the
cleanlyness of his appearants and linning （which was generally a
pink or blew shurt； with a cricketer or a dansuse pattern） rather a
contrast to the dinjy and whistkcard sosaity of the Diwann。 As for
wiskars； this young mann had none beyond a little yallow tought to
his chin； which you woodn notas； only he was always pulling at it。
His statue was diminnative； but his coschume supubb； for he had the
tippiest Jane boots； the ivoryheadest canes； the most gawjus
scarlick Jonville ties； and the most Scotch…plaidest trowseys； of
any customer of that establishment。 He was univusaly called
Milord。
〃Que est ce jeune seigneur？ Who is this young hurl who comes
knightly to the 'Constantanople；' who is so proddigl of his gold
（for indeed the young gent would frequinly propoase gininwater to
the company）； and who drinks so much gin？〃 asked Munseer Chacabac
of a friend from the 〃Hotel de l'Ail。〃
〃His name is Lord Yardham；〃 answered that friend。 〃He never comes
here but at nightand why？〃
〃Y？〃 igsclaimed Jools； istonisht。
〃Why？ because he is engaygd all dayand do you know where he is
engaygd all day？〃
〃Where？〃 asked Jools。
〃At the Foring OfficeNOW do you begin to understand？〃Jools
trembled。
He speaks of his uncle； the head of that office。〃Who IS the head
of that offis？Palmerston。〃
〃The nephew of Palmerston！〃 said Jools； almost in a fit。
〃Lor Yardham pretends not to speak French；〃 the other went on。 〃He
pretends he can only say wee and commong porty voo。 Shallow
humbug！I h