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burlesques-第29章

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Three hundred steel…clad gentlemen; we drove the foe before us;

And thirty score of British bows kept twanging to the chorus!

O knights; my noble ancestors! and shall I never hear

Saint Willibald for Bareacres through battle ringing clear?

I'd cut me off this strong right hand a single hour to ride;

And strike a blow for Bareacres; my fathers; at your side!



〃Dash down; dash down; yon Mandolin; beloved sister mine!

Those blushing lips may never sing the glories of our line:

Our ancient castles echo to the clumsy feet of churls;

The spinning Jenny houses in the mansion of our Earls。

Sing not; sing not; my Angeline! in days so base and vile;

'Twere sinful to be happy; 'twere sacrilege to smile。

I'll hie me to my lonely hall; and by its cheerless hob

I'll muse on other days; and wishand wish I were。A SNOB。〃





〃All young Hengland; I'm told; considers the poim bewtifle。

They're always writing about battleaxis and shivvlery; these young

chaps; but the ideer of Southdown in a shoot of armer; and his

cuttin hoff his 'strong right hand;' is rayther too good; the

feller is about 5 fit hi;as ricketty as a babby; with a vaist

like a gal; and though he may have the art and curridge of a Bengal

tyger; I'd back my smallest cab…boy to lick him;that is; if I AD

a cab…boy。  But io! MY cab…days is over。



〃Be still my hagnizing Art!  I now am about to hunfoald the dark

payges of the Istry of my life!〃





〃My friends! you've seen me ither2 in the full kerear of Fortn;

prawsprus but not hover prowd of my prawsperraty; not dizzy though

mounted on the haypix of Good Luckfeasting hall the great (like

the Good Old Henglish Gent in the song; which he has been my moddle

and igsample through life); but not forgitting the smallNo; my

beayvior to my granmother at Healing shows that。  I bot her a new

donkey cart (what the French call a cart…blansh) and a handsome set

of peggs for anging up her linning; and treated Huncle Bill to a

new shoot of close; which he ordered in St。 Jeames's Street; much

to the estonishment of my Snyder there; namely an olliffgreen

velvyteen jackit and smalclose; and a crimsn plush weskoat with

glas…buttns。  These pints of genarawsaty in my disposishn I never

should have eluded to; but to show that I am naturally of a noble

sort; and have that kind of galliant carridge which is equel to

either good or bad forting。



〃What was the substns of my last chapter?  In that everythink was

prepayred for my marridgethe consent of the parents of my

Hangelina was gaynd; the lovely gal herself was ready (as I

thought) to be led to Himing's halterthe trooso was horderedthe

wedding dressis were being phitted hona weddinkake weighing half

a tunn was a gettn reddy by Mesurs Gunter of Buckley Square; there

was such an account for Shantilly and Honiton laces as would have

staggerd hennyboddy (I know they did the Commissioner when I came

hup for my Stiffikit); and has for Injar…shawls I bawt a dozen sich

fine ones as never was given awayno not by Hiss Iness the Injan

Prins Juggernaut Tygore。  The juils (a pearl and dimind shoot) were

from the establishmint of Mysurs Storr and Mortimer。  The honey…

moon I intended to pass in a continentle excussion; and was in

treaty for the ouse at Halberd…gate (hopsit Mr。 Hudson's) as my

town…house。  I waited to cumclude the putchis untle the Share…

Markit which was rayther deprest (oing I think not so much to the

atax of the misrable Times as to the prodidjus flams of the Morning

Erald) was restored to its elthy toan。  I wasn't goin to part with

scrip which was 20 primmium at 2 or 3: and bein confidnt that the

Markit would rally; had bought very largely for the two or three

new accounts。



〃This will explane to those unfortnight traydsmen to womb I gayv

orders for a large igstent ow it was that I couldn't pay their

accounts。  I am the soal of onourbut no gent can pay when he has

no moneyit's not MY fault if that old screw Lady Bareacres

cabbidged three hundred yards of lace; and kep back 4 of the

biggest diminds and seven of the largist Injar Shawlsit's not MY

fault if the tradespeople didn git their goods back; and that Lady

B。 declared they were LOST。  I began the world afresh with the

close on my back; and thirteen and six in money; concealing

nothink; giving up heverythink; Onist and undismayed; and though

beat; with pluck in me still; and ready to begin agin。



〃Wellit was the day before that apinted for my Unium。  The

'Ringdove' steamer was lying at Dover ready to carry us hoff。  The

Bridle apartmince had been hordered at Salt Hill; and subsquintly

at Balong sur Marethe very table cloth was laid for the weddn

brexfst in Ill Street; and the Bride's Right Reverend Huncle; the

Lord Bishop of Bullocksmithy; had arrived to sellabrayt our unium。

All the papers were full of it。  Crowds of the fashnable world went

to see the trooso; and admire the Carridges in Long Hacre。  Our

travleng charrat (light bloo lined with pink satting; and

vermillium and goold weals) was the hadmaration of all for quiet

ellygns。  We were to travel only 4; viz。 me; my lady; my vally; and

Mary Hann as famdyshamber to my Hangelina。  Far from oposing our

match; this worthy gal had quite givn into it of late; and laught

and joakt; and enjoyd our plans for the fewter igseedinkly。



〃I'd left my lovely Bride very gay the night beforeaving a

multachewd of bisniss on; and Stockbrokers' and bankers' accounts

to settle: atsettrey atsettrey。  It was layt before I got these in

horder: my sleap was feavrish; as most mens is when they are going

to be marrid or to be hanged。  I took my chocklit in bed about one:

tride on my wedding close; and found as ushle that they became me

exeedingly。



〃One thing distubbed my mindtwo weskts had been sent home。  A

blush…white satting and gold; and a kinary colored tabbinet

imbridered in silver: which should I wear on the hospicious day?

This hadgitated and perplext me a good deal。  I detummined to go

down to Hill Street and cumsult the Lady whose wishis were

henceforth to be my HALLINALL; and wear whichever SHE phixt on。



〃There was a great bussel and distubbans in the Hall in Ill Street:

which I etribyouted to the eproaching event。  The old porter stared

meost uncommon when I kem inthe footman who was to enounce me

laft I thoughtI was going up stairs



〃'Her ladyship's notnot at HOME;' says the man; 'and my lady's

hill in bed。'



〃'Git lunch;' says I; 'I'll wait till Lady Hangelina returns。'



〃At this the feller loox at me for a momint with his cheex blown

out like a bladder; and then busts out in a reglar guffau! the

porter jined in it; the impident old raskle: and Thomas says;

slapping his and on his thy; without the least respectI say;

Huffy; old boy! ISN'T this a good un?'



〃'Wadyermean; you infunnle scoundrel;' says I; 'hollaring and

laffing at me?'



〃'Oh; here's Miss Mary Hann coming up;' says Thomas; 'ask HER'and

indeed there came my little Mary Hann tripping down the stairsher

&s in her pockits; and when she saw me; SHE began to blush and look

hod & then to grin too。



〃'In the name of Imperence;' says I; rushing on Thomas; and

collaring him fit to throttle him'no raskle of a flunky shall

insult ME;' and I sent him staggerin up aginst the porter; and both

of 'em into the hall…chair with a floppwhen Mary Hann; jumping

down; says; 'O James!  O Mr。 Plush! read this'and she pulled out

a billy doo。



〃I reckanized the and…writing of Hangelina。〃





〃Deseatful Hangelina's billy ran as follows:



〃'I had all along hoped that you would have relinquished

pretensions which you must have seen were so disagreeable to me;

and have spared me the painful necessity of the step which I am

compelled to take。  For a long time I could not believe my parents

were serious in wishing to sacrifice me; but have in vain entreated

them to spare me。  I cannot undergo the shame and misery of a union

with you。  To the very last hour I remonstrated in vain; and only

now anticipate by a few hours; my departure from a home from which

they themselves were about to expel me。



〃'When you receive this; I shall be united to the person to whom;

as you are aware; my heart was given long ago。  My parents are

already informed of the step I have taken。  And I have my own honor

to consult; even before their benefit: they will forgive me; I hope

and feel; before long。



〃'As for yourself; may I not hope that time will calm your

exquisite feelings too?  I leave Mary Ann behind me to console you。

She admires you as you deserve to be admired; and with a constancy

which I entreat you to try and imitate。  Do; my dear Mr。 Plush;

tryfor the sake of your sincere friend and admirer; A。



〃'P。S。  I leave the wedding…dresses behind for her: the diamonds

are beautiful; and will become Mrs。 Plush admirably。'





〃This was hall!Confewshn!  And there stood the footmen sniggerin;

and that 
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