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Whistlebinkie。'
〃On driving up to the 'Cairngorm Arms；' I found a gentleman of
military appearance standing at the doer； and occupied seemingly in
smoking a cigar。 It was very dark as I descended from my carriage；
and the gentleman in question exclaimed； 'Is it you； Southdown my
boy？ You have come too late； unless you are come to have some
supper；' or words to that effect。 I explained that I was not the
Lord Viscount Southdown； and politely apprised Captain Silvertop
（for I justly concluded the individual before me could be no other）
of his mistake。
〃'Who the deuce' （the Captain used a stronger term） 'are you；
then？' said Mr。 Silvertop。 'Are you Baggs and Tapewell； my uncle's
attorneys？ If you are； you have come too late for the fair。'
〃I briefly explained that I was not Baggs and Tapewell； but that my
name was Jms； and that I was a gentleman connected with the
establishment of the Morning Tatler newspaper。
〃'And what has brought you here； Mr。 Morning Tatler？' asked my
interlocutor； rather roughly。 My answer was frankthat the
disappearance of a noble lady from the house of her friends had
caused the greatest excitement in the metropolis； and that my
employers were anxious to give the public every particular
regarding an event so singular。
〃'And do you mean to say； sir； that you have dogged me all the way
from London； and that my family affairs are to be published for the
readers of the Morning Tatler newspaper？ The Morning Tatter be
（the Captain here gave utterance to an oath which I shall not
repeat） and you too； sir； you unpudent meddling scoundrel。'
〃'Scoundrel； sir！' said I。 'Yes；' replied the irate gentleman；
seizing me rudely by the collarand he would have choked me； but
that my blue satin stock and false collar gave way； and were left
in the hands of this GENTLEMAN。 'Help； landlord！' I loudly
exclaimed； adding； I believe； 'murder；' and other exclamations of
alarm。 In vain I appealed to the crowd； which by this time was
pretty considerable； they and the unfeeling post…boys only burst
into laughter； and called out； 'Give it him； Captain。' A struggle
ensued； in which I have no doubt I should have had the better； but
that the Captain； joining suddenly in the general and indecent
hilarity； which was doubled when I fell down； stopped and said；
'Well； Jims； I won't fight on my marriage…day。 Go into the tap；
Jims； and order a glass of brandy…and…water at my expenseand mind
I don't see your face to…morrow morning； or I'll make it more ugly
than it is。'
〃With these gross expressions and a cheer from the crowd； Mr。
Silvertop entered the inn。 I need not say that I did not partake
of his hospitality； and that personally I despise his insults。 I
make them known that they may call down the indignation of the body
of which I am a member； and throw myself on the sympathy of the
public； as a gentleman shamefully assaulted and insulted in the
discharge of a public duty。〃
〃Thus you've sean how the flower of my affeckshns was tawn out of
my busm； and my art was left bleading。 Hangelina！ I forgive thee。
Mace thou be appy！ If ever artfelt prayer for others wheel awailed
on i； the beink on womb you trampled addresses those subblygations
to Evn in your be1/2！
〃I went home like a maniack； after hearing the announcement of
Hangelina's departur。 She'd been gone twenty hours when I heard
the fatle noose。 Purshoot was vain。 Suppose I DID kitch her up；
they were married； and what could we do？ This sensable remark I
made to Earl Bareacres； when that distragted nobleman igspawstulated
with me。 Er who was to have been my mother…in…lor； the Countiss； I
never from that momink sor agin。 My presnts； troosoes； juels； &c。；
were sent backwith the igsepshn of the diminds and Cashmear shawl；
which her Ladyship COODN'T FIND。 Ony it was whispered that at the
nex buthday she was seen with a shawl IGSACKLY OF THE SAME PATTN。
Let er keep it。
〃Southdown was phurius。 He came to me hafter the ewent； and wanted
me adwance 50 lb。； so that he might purshew his fewgitif sister
but I wasn't to be ad with that sort of chaughthere was no more
money for THAT famly。 So he went away； and gave huttrance to his
feelinx in a poem； which appeared （price 2 guineas） in the Bel
Assombly。
〃All the juilers； manchumakers； lacemen； coch bilders； apolstrers；
hors dealers； and weddencake makers came pawring in with their
bills； haggravating feelings already woondid beyond enjurants。
That madniss didn't seaze me that night was a mussy。 Fever； fewry；
and rayge rack'd my hagnized braind； and drove sleap from my
throbbink ilids。 Hall night I follered Hangelinar in imadganation
along the North Road。 I wented cusses & mallydickshuns on the
hinfamus Silvertop。 I kickd and rord in my unhuttarable whoe！ I
seazed my pillar： I pitcht into it： pummld it； strangled it。 Ha
har！ I thought it was Silvertop writhing in my Jint grasp； and taw
the hordayshis villing lim from lim in the terrible strenth of my
despare！ 。 。 。 Let me drop a cutting over the memries of that
night。 When my boddy…suvnt came with my ot water in the mawning；
the livid copse in the charnill was not payler than the gashly De
la Pluche！
〃'Give me the Share…list； Mandeville；' I micanickly igsclaimed。 I
had not perused it for the past 3 days； my etention being engayged
elseware。 Hevns & huth！what was it I red there？ What was it
that made me spring outabed as if sumbady had given me cold pig？I
red Rewin in that Share…listthe Pannick was in full hoparation！
。 。 。 。 。 。
Shall I describe that kitastrafy with which hall Hengland is
familliar？ My & rifewses to cronnicle the misfortns which
lassarated my bleeding art in Hoctober last。 On the fust of
Hawgust where was I？ Director of twenty…three Companies； older of
scrip hall at a primmium； and worth at least a quarter of a
millium。 On Lord Mare's day my Saint Helenas quotid at 14 pm； were
down at 1/2 discount； my Central Ichaboes at 3/8 discount； my Table
Mounting & Hottentot Grand Trunk； no where； my Bathershins and
Derrynane Beg； of which I'd bought 2000 for the account at 17
primmium； down to nix； my Juan Fernandez； my Great Central Oregons；
prostrit。 There was a momint when I thought I shouldn't be alive
to write my own tail！〃
（Here follow in Mr。 Plush's MS。 about twenty…four pages of railroad
calculations； which we pretermit。）
〃Those beests； Pump & Aldgate； once so cringing and umble； wrote me
a threatnen letter because I overdrew my account three…and…
sixpence： woodn't advance me five thousand on 25；000 worth of
scrip； kep me waiting 2 hours when I asked to see the house； and
then sent out Spout； the jewnior partner； saying they wouldn't
discount my paper； and implawed me to clothes my account。 I did： I
paid the three…and…six balliance； and never sor 'em mor。
〃The market fell daily。 The Rewin grew wusser and wusser。
Hagnies； Hagnies！ it wasn't in the city aloan my misfortns came
upon me。 They beerded me in my own ome。 The biddle who kips watch
at the Halbany wodn keep misfortn out of my chambers； and Mrs。
Twiddler； of Pall Mall； and Mr。 Hunx； of Long Acre； put egsicution
into my apartmince； and swep off every stick of my furniture。
'Wardrobe & furniture of a man of fashion。' What an adwertisement
George Robins DID make of it； and what a crowd was collected to
laff at the prospick of my ruing！ My chice plait； my seller of
wine； my pictursthat of myself included （it was Maryhann； bless
her！ that bought it； unbeknown to me）； allall went to the ammer。
That brootle Fitzwarren； my ex…vally； womb I met； fimilliarly slapt
me on the sholder； and said； 'Jeames； my boy； you'd best go into
suvvis aginn。'
〃I DID go into suvvisthe wust of all suvvicesI went into the
Queen's Bench Prison； and lay there a misrabble captif for 6
mortial weeks。 Misrabble shall I say？ no； not misrabble
altogether； there was sunlike in the dunjing of the pore prisner。
I had visitors。 A cart used to drive hup to the prizn gates of
Saturdays； a washywoman's cart； with a fat old lady in it； and a
young one。 Who was that young one？ Every one who has an art can
gess； it was my blue…eyed blushing hangel of a Mary Hann！ 'Shall
we take him out in the linnen…basket； grandmamma？' Mary Hann said。
Bless her； she'd already learned to say grandmamma quite natral：
but I didn't go out that way； I went out by the door a whitewashed
man。 Ho； what a feast there was at Healing the day I came out！
I'd thirteen shillings left when I'd bought the gold ring。 I
wasn't prowd。 I turned the mangle for three weeks； and then Uncle
Bill said； 'Well； there IS some good in the feller；' and it was
agreed that we should marry。〃
The Plush manuscript finishes here： it is many weeks since we saw
the accomplished writer； and we have only just learned his fate。
We are happy