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Hicks received a ball in his jaw； and was half choked by a quantity
of carroty whisker forced down his throat with the ball。
2。 Capt。 Macgillicuddy； B。N。I。； 。 。 Cornet Gahagan。 I was run
through the body； but the sword passed between the ribs； and
injured me very slightly。
3。 Capt。 Macgillicuddy； B。N。I。； 。 。 Mr。 Mulligatawny； B。C。S。；
Deputy…Assistant Vice Sub…Controller of the Boggleywollah Indigo
grounds； Ramgolly branch。
Macgillicuddy should have stuck to sword's…play； and he might have
come off in his second duel as well as in his first； as it was； the
civilian placed a ball and a part of Mac's gold repeater in his
stomach。 A remarkable circumstance attended this shot； an account
of which I sent home to the 〃Philosophical Transactions：〃 the
surgeon had extracted the ball； and was going off； thinking that
all was well； when the gold repeater struck thirteen in poor
Macgillicuddy's abdomen。 I suppose that the works must have been
disarranged in some way by the bullet； for the repeater was one of
Barraud's； never known to fail before； and the circumstance
occurred at SEVEN o'clock。*
* So admirable are the performances of these watches； which will
stand in any climate； that I repeatedly heard poor Macgillicuddy
relate the following fact。 The hours； as it is known； count in
Italy from one to twenty…four： the day Mac landed at Naples his
repeater rung the Italian hours； from one to twenty…four； as soon
as he crossed the Alps it only sounded as usual。G。 O'G。 G。
I could continue； almost ad infinitum； an account of the wars which
this Helen occasioned； but the above three specimens will； I should
think； satisfy the peaceful reader。 I delight not in scenes of
blood； heaven knows； but I was compelled in the course of a few
weeks； and for the sake of this one woman； to fight nine duels
myself； and I know that four times as many more took place
concerning her。
I forgot to say that Jowler's wife was a half…caste woman； who had
been born and bred entirely in India； and whom the Colonel had
married from the house of her mother； a native。 There were some
singular rumors abroad regarding this latter lady's history： it was
reported that she was the daughter of a native Rajah； and had been
carried off by a poor English subaltern in Lord Clive's time。 The
young man was killed very soon after； and left his child with its
mother。 The black Prince forgave his daughter and bequeathed to
her a handsome sum of money。 I suppose that it was on this account
that Jowler married Mrs。 J。； a creature who had not； I do believe；
a Christian name； or a single Christian quality： she was a hideous；
bloated； yellow creature； with a beard； black teeth； and red eyes：
she was fat； lying； ugly； and stingyshe hated and was hated by
all the world； and by her jolly husband as devoutly as by any
other。 She did not pass a month in the year with him； but spent
most of her time with her native friends。 I wonder how she could
have given birth to so lovely a creature as her daughter。 This
woman was of course with the Colonel when Julia arrived； and the
spice of the devil in her daughter's composition was most carefully
nourished and fed by her。 If Julia had been a flirt before； she
was a downright jilt now； she set the whole cantonment by the ears；
she made wives jealous and husbands miserable； she caused all those
duels of which I have discoursed already； and yet such was the
fascination of THE WITCH that I still thought her an angel。 I made
court to the nasty mother in order to be near the daughter； and I
listened untiringly to Jowler's interminable dull stories； because
I was occupied all the time in watching the graceful movements of
Miss Julia。
But the trumpet of war was soon ringing in our ears； and on the
battle…field Gahagan is a man！ The Bundelcund Invincibles received
orders to march； and Jowler； Hector…like； donned his helmet and
prepared to part from his Andromache。 And now arose his
perplexity： what must be done with his daughter； his Julia？ He
knew his wife's peculiarities of living； and did not much care to
trust his daughter to her keeping； but in vain he tried to find her
an asylum among the respectable ladies of his regiment。 Lady Gutch
offered to receive her； but would have nothing to do with Mrs。
Jowler； the surgeon's wife； Mrs。 Sawbone； would have neither mother
nor daughter； there was no help for it； Julia and her mother must
have a house together； and Jowler knew that his wife would fill it
with her odious blackamoor friends。
I could not； however； go forth satisfied to the campaign until I
learned from Julia my fate。 I watched twenty opportunities to see
her alone； and wandered about the Colonel's bungalow as an informer
does about a public…house； marking the incomings and the outgoings
of the family； and longing to seize the moment when Miss Jowler；
unbiassed by her mother or her papa； might listen； perhaps； to my
eloquence； and melt at the tale of my love。
But it would not doold Jowler seemed to have taken all of a
sudden to such a fit of domesticity； that there was no finding him
out of doors； and his rhubarb…colored wife （I believe that her skin
gave the first idea of our regimental breeches）； who before had
been gadding ceaselessly abroad； and poking her broad nose into
every menage in the cantonment； stopped faithfully at home with her
spouse。 My only chance was to beard the old couple in their den；
and ask them at once for their cub。
So I called one day at tiffin：old Jowler was always happy to have
my company at this meal； it amused him； he said； to see me drink
Hodgson's pale ale （I drank two hundred and thirty…four dozen the
first year I was in Bengal）and it was no small piece of fun；
certainly； to see old Mrs。 Jowler attack the currie…bhaut；she was
exactly the color of it； as I have had already the honor to remark；
and she swallowed the mixture with a gusto which was never
equalled； except by my poor friend Dando apropos d'huitres。 She
consumed the first three platefuls with a fork and spoon； like a
Christian； but as she warmed to her work； the old hag would throw
away her silver implements； and dragging the dishes towards her； go
to work with her hands； flip the rice into her mouth with her
fingers； and stow away a quantity of eatables sufficient for a
sepoy company。 But why do I diverge from the main point of my
story？
Julia； then； Jowler； and Mrs。 J。 were at luncheon： the dear girl
was in the act to sabler a glass of Hodgson as I entered。 〃How do
you do； Mr。 Gagin？〃 said the old hag； leeringly。 〃Eat a bit o'
currie…bhaut；〃and she thrust the dish towards me； securing a heap
as it passed。 〃What！ Gagy my boy； how do； how do？〃 said the fat
Colonel。 〃What！ run through the body？got well againhave some
Hodgsonrun through your body too！〃and at this； I may say；
coarse joke （alluding to the fact that in these hot climates the
ale oozes out as it were from the pores of the skin） old Jowler
laughed： a host of swarthy chobdars； kitmatgars； sices； consomahs；
and bobbychies laughed too； as they provided me； unasked； with the
grateful fluid。 Swallowing six tumblers of it； I paused nervously
for a moment； and then said
〃Bobbachy； consomah； ballybaloo hoga。〃
The black ruffians took the hint and retired。
〃Colonel and Mrs。 Jowler；〃 said I solemnly； 〃we are alone； and you；
Miss Jowler； you are alone too； that isI meanI take this
opportunity to（another glass of ale； if you please）to express；
once for all； before departing on a dangerous campaign〃（Julia
turned pale）〃before entering； I say； upon a war which may stretch
in the dust my high…raised hopes and me； to express my hopes while
life still remains to me； and to declare in the face of heaven；
earth； and Colonel Jowler； that I love you； Julia！〃 The Colonel；
astonished； let fall a steel fork； which stuck quivering for some
minutes in the calf of my leg； but I heeded not the paltry
interruption。 〃Yes； by yon bright heaven；〃 continued I； 〃I love
you； Julia！ I respect my commander； I esteem your excellent and
beauteous mother； tell me； before I leave you； if I may hope for a
return of my affection。 Say that you love me； and I will do such
deeds in this coming war as shall make you proud of the name of
your Gahagan。〃
The old woman； as I delivered these touching words； stared；
snapped； and ground her teeth； like an enraged monkey。 Julia was
now red； now white； the Colonel stretched forward； took the fork
out of the calf of my leg； wiped it； and then seized a bundle of
letters which I had remarked by his side。
〃A cornet！〃 said he； in a voice choking with emotion； 〃a pitiful；
beggarly Irish cornet aspire to the hand of Julia Jowler！ Gag；
Gahagan； are you mad； or laughing at us？ Look at these letters；
young manat these letters； I sayone hundred and twenty…four
epistles from every part of India （n