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burlesques-第38章

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some of my adventures in a monthly magazine) unprincipled men have

endeavored to rob me of the only good I possess; to question the

statements that I make; and; themselves without a spark of honor or

good feeling; to steal from me that which is my sole wealthmy

character as a teller of THE TRUTH。



The reader will understand that it is to the illiberal strictures

of a profligate press I now allude; among the London journalists;

none (luckily for themselves) have dared to question the veracity

of my statements: they know me; and they know that I am IN LONDON。

If I can use the pen; I can also wield a more manly and terrible

weapon; and would answer their contradictions with my sword!  No

gold or gems adorn the hilt of that war…worn scimitar; but there is

blood upon the bladethe blood of the enemies of my country; and

the maligners of my honest fame。  There are others; howeverthe

disgrace of a disgraceful tradewho; borrowing from distance a

despicable courage; have ventured to assail me。  The infamous

editors of the Kelso Champion; the Bungay Beacon; the Tipperary

Argus; and the Stoke Pogis Sentinel; and other dastardly organs of

the provincial press; have; although differing in politics; agreed

upon this one point; and with a scoundrelly unanimity; vented a

flood of abuse upon the revelations made by me。



They say that I have assailed private characters; and wilfully

perverted history to blacken the reputation of public men。  I ask;

was any one of these men in Bengal in the year 1803?  Was any

single conductor of any one of these paltry prints ever in

Bundelcund or the Rohilla country?  Does this EXQUISITE Tipperary

scribe know the difference between Hurrygurrybang and Burrumtollah?

Not he! and because; forsooth; in those strange and distant lands

strange circumstances have taken place; it is insinuated that the

relater is a liar: nay; that the very places themselves have no

existence but in my imagination。  Fools!but I will not waste my

anger upon them; and proceed to recount some other portions of my

personal history。



It is; I presume; a fact which even THESE scribbling assassins will

not venture to deny; that before the commencement of the campaign

against Scindiah; the English General formed a camp at Kanouge on

the Jumna; where he exercised that brilliant little army which was

speedily to perform such wonders in the Dooab。  It will be as well

to give a slight account of the causes of a war which was speedily

to rage through some of the fairest portions of the Indian

continent。



Shah Allum; the son of Shah Lollum; the descendant by the female

line of Nadir Shah (that celebrated Toorkomaun adventurer; who had

wellnigh hurled Bajazet and Selim the Second from the throne of

Bagdad)Shah Allum; I say; although nominally the Emperor of

Delhi; was in reality the slave of the various warlike chieftains

who lorded it by turns over the country and the sovereign; until

conquered and slain by some more successful rebel。  Chowder Loll

Masolgee; Zubberdust Khan; Dowsunt Row Scindiah; and the celebrated

Bobbachy Jung Bahawder; had held for a time complete mastery in

Delhi。  The second of these; a ruthless Afghan soldier; had

abruptly entered the capital; nor was he ejected from it until he

had seized upon the principal jewels; and likewise put out the eyes

of the last of the unfortunate family of Afrasiab。  Scindiah came

to the rescue of the sightless Shah Allum; and though he destroyed

his oppressor; only increased his slavery; holding him in as

painful a bondage as he had suffered under the tyrannous Afghan。



As long as these heroes were battling among themselves; or as long

rather as it appeared that they had any strength to fight a battle;

the British Government; ever anxious to see its enemies by the

ears; by no means interfered in the contest。  But the French

Revolution broke out; and a host of starving sans…culottes appeared

among the various Indian States; seeking for military service; and

inflaming the minds of the various native princes against the

British East India Company。  A number of these entered into

Scindiah's ranks: one of them; Perron; was commander of his army;

and though that chief was as yet quite engaged in his hereditary

quarrel with Jeswunt Row Holkar; and never thought of an invasion

of the British territory; the Company all of a sudden discovered

that Shah Allum; his sovereign; was shamefully ill…used; and

determined to re…establish the ancient splendor of his throne。



Of course it was sheer benevolence for poor Shah Allum that

prompted our governors to take these kindly measures in his favor。

I don't know how it happened that; at the end of the war; the poor

Shah was not a whit better off than at the beginning; and that

though Holkar was beaten; and Scindiah annihilated; Shah Allum was

much such a puppet as before。  Somehow; in the hurry and confusion

of this struggle; the oyster remained with the British Government;

who had so kindly offered to dress it for the Emperor; while his

Majesty was obliged to be contented with the shell。



The force encamped at Kanouge bore the title of the Grand Army of

the Ganges and the Jumna; it consisted of eleven regiments of

cavalry and twelve battalions of infantry; and was commanded by

General Lake in person。



Well; on the 1st of September we stormed Perron's camp at Allyghur;

on the fourth we took that fortress by assault; and as my name was

mentioned in general orders; I may as well quote the Commander…in…

Chief's words regarding methey will spare me the trouble of

composing my own eulogium:



〃The Commander…in…Chief is proud thus publicly to declare his high

sense of the gallantry of Lieutenant Gahagan; of the  cavalry。

In the storming of the fortress; although unprovided with a single

ladder; and accompanied but by a few brave men; Lieutenant Gahagan

succeeded in escalading the inner and fourteenth wall of the place。

Fourteen ditches lined with sword…blades and poisoned chevaux…de…

frise; fourteen walls bristling with innumerable artillery and as

smooth as looking…glasses; were in turn triumphantly passed by that

enterprising officer。  His course was to be traced by the heaps of

slaughtered enemies lying thick upon the platforms; and alas! by

the corpses of most of the gallant men who followed him!when at

length he effected his lodgment; and the dastardly enemy; who dared

not to confront him with arms; let loose upon him the tigers and

lions of Scindiah's menagerie。  This meritorious officer destroyed;

with his own hand; four of the largest and most ferocious animals;

and the rest; awed by the indomitable majesty of BRITISH VALOR;

shrank back to their dens。  Thomas Higgory; a private; and Runty

Goss; havildar; were the only two who remained out of the nine

hundred who followed Lieutenant Gahagan。  Honor to them! honor and

tears for the brave men who perished on that awful day!〃



        。        。        。        。        。        。



I  have copied this; word for word; from the Bengal Hurkaru of

September 24; 1803: and anybody who has the slightest doubt as to

the statement; may refer to the paper itself。



And here I must pause to give thanks to Fortune; which so

marvellously preserved me; Sergeant…Major Higgory; and Runty Goss。

Were I to say that any valor of ours had carried us unhurt through

this tremendous combat; the reader would laugh me to scorn。  No:

though my narrative is extraordinary; it is nevertheless authentic;

and never; never would I sacrifice truth for the mere sake of

effect。  The fact is this:the citadel of Allyghur is situated

upon a rock; about a thousand feet above the level of the sea; and

is surrounded by fourteen walls; as his Excellency was good enough

to remark in his despatch。  A man who would mount these without

scaling…ladders; is an ass; he who would SAY he mounted them

without such assistance; is a liar and a knave。  We HAD scaling…

ladders at the commencement of the assault; although it was quite

impossible to carry them beyond the first line of batteries。

Mounted on them; however; as our troops were falling thick about

me; I saw that we must ignominiously retreat; unless some other

help could be found for our brave fellows to escalade the next

wall。  It was about seventy feet high。  I instantly turned the guns

of wall A on wall B; and peppered the latter so as to make; not a

breach; but a scaling place; the men mounting in the holes made by

the shot。  By this simple stratagem; I managed to pass each

successive barrierfor to ascend a wall which the General was

pleased to call 〃as smooth as glass〃 is an absurd impossibility: I

seek to achieve none such:





     〃I dare do all that may become a man;

      Who dares do more; is neither more nor less。〃





Of course; had the enemy's guns been commonly well served; not one

of us would ever have been alive out of the three; but whether it

was owin
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