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of us would ever have been alive out of the three； but whether it
was owing to fright； or to the excessive smoke caused by so many
pieces of artillery； arrive we did。 On the platforms； too； our
work was not quite so difficult as might be imaginedkilling these
fellows was sheer butchery。 As soon as we appeared； they all
turned and fled helter…skelter； and the reader may judge of their
courage by the fact that out of about seven hundred men killed by
us； only forty had wounds in front； the rest being bayoneted as
they ran。
And beyond all other pieces of good fortune was the very letting
out of these tigers； which was the dernier ressort of Bournonville；
the second commandant of the fort。 I had observed this man
（conspicuous for a tri…colored scarf which he wore） upon every one
of the walls as we stormed them； and running away the very first
among the fugitives。 He had all the keys of the gates； and in his
tremor； as he opened the menagerie portal； left the whole bunch in
the door； which I seized when the animals were overcome。 Runty
Goss then opened them one by one； our troops entered； and the
victorious standard of my country floated on the walls of Allyghur！
When the General； accompanied by his staff； entered the last line
of fortifications； the brave old man raised me from the dead
rhinoceros on which I was seated； and pressed me to his breast。
But the excitement which had borne me through the fatigues and
perils of that fearful day failed all of a sudden； and I wept like
a child upon his shoulder。
Promotion； in our army； goes unluckily by seniority； nor is it in
the power of the General…in…Chief to advance a Caesar； if he finds
him in the capacity of a subaltern： MY reward for the above exploit
was； therefore； not very rich。 His Excellency had a favorite horn
snuff…box （for； though exalted in station； he was in his habits
most simple）： of this； and about a quarter of an ounce of high…
dried Welsh； which he always took； he made me a present； saying； in
front of the line； 〃Accept this； Mr。 Gahagan； as a token of respect
from the first to the bravest officer in the army。〃
Calculating the snuff to be worth a halfpenny； I should say that
fourpence was about the value of this gift： but it has at least
this good effectit serves to convince any person who doubts my
story； that the facts of it are really true。 I have left it at the
office of my publisher； along with the extract from the Bengal
Hurkaru； and anybody may examine both by applying in the counting…
house of Mr。 Cunningham。* That once popular expression； or
proverb； 〃are you up to snuff？〃 arose out of the above circumstance；
for the officers of my corps； none of whom； except myself； had
ventured on the storming…party； used to twit me about this modest
reward for my labors。 Never mind！ when they want me to storm a fort
AGAIN； I shall know better。
* The Major certainly offered to leave an old snuff…box at Mr。
Cunningham's office； but it contained no extract from a newspaper；
and does not QUITE prove that he killed a rhinoceros and stormed
fourteen intrenchments at the siege of Allyghur。
Well； immediately after the capture of this important fortress；
Perron； who had been the life and soul of Scindiah's army； came in
to us； with his family and treasure； and was passed over to the
French settlements at Chandernagur。 Bourquien took his command；
and against him we now moved。 The morning of the 11th of September
found us upon the plains of Delhi。
It was a burning hot day； and we were all refreshing ourselves
after the morning's march； when I； who was on the advanced piquet
along with O'Gawler of the King's Dragoons； was made aware of the
enemy's neighborhood in a very singular manner。 O'Gawler and I
were seated under a little canopy of horse…cloths； which we had
formed to shelter us from the intolerable heat of the sun； and were
discussing with great delight a few Manilla cheroots； and a stone
jar of the most exquisite； cool； weak； refreshing sangaree。 We had
been playing cards the night before； and O'Gawler had lost to me
seven hundred rupees。 I emptied the last of the sangaree into the
two pint tumblers out of which we were drinking； and holding mine
up； said； 〃Here's better luck to you next time； O'Gawler！〃
As I spoke the wordswhish！a cannon…ball cut the tumbler clean
out of my hand； and plumped into poor O'Gawler's stomach。 It
settled him completely； and of course I never got my seven hundred
rupees。 Such are the uncertainties of war！
To strap on my sabre and my accoutrementsto mount my Arab
chargerto drink off what O'Gawler had left of the sangareeand
to gallop to the General； was the work of a moment。 I found him as
comfortably at tiffin as if he were at his own house in London。
〃General；〃 said I； as soon as I got into his paijamahs （or tent）；
〃you must leave your lunch if you want to fight the enemy。〃
〃The enemypsha！ Mr。 Gahagan； the enemy is on the other side of
the river。〃
〃I can only tell your Excellency that the enemy's guns will hardly
carry five miles； and that Cornet O'Gawler was this moment shot
dead at my side with a cannon…ball。〃
〃Ha！ is it so？〃 said his Excellency； rising； and laying down the
drumstick of a grilled chicken。 〃Gentlemen； remember that the eyes
of Europe are upon us； and follow me！〃
Each aide…de…camp started from table and seized his cocked hat；
each British heart beat high at the thoughts of the coming melee。
We mounted our horses and galloped swiftly after the brave old
General； I not the last in the train； upon my famous black charger。
It was perfectly true； the enemy were posted in force within three
miles of our camp； and from a hillock in the advance to which we
galloped； we were enabled with our telescopes to see the whole of
his imposing line。 Nothing can better describe it than this：
_________________________________
/。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 A
/。
/。
/。
/。
A is the enemy； and the dots represent the hundred and twenty
pieces of artillery which defended his line。 He was； moreover；
intrenched； and a wide morass in his front gave him an additional
security。
His Excellency for a moment surveyed the line； and then said；
turning round to one of his aides…de…camp； 〃Order up Major…General
Tinkler and the cavalry。〃
〃HERE； does your Excellency mean？〃 said the aide…de…camp； surprised；
for the enemy had perceived us； and the cannon…balls were flying
about as thick as peas。
〃HERE； sir！〃 said the old General； stamping with his foot in a
passion； and the A。D。C。 shrugged his shoulders and galloped away。
In five minutes we heard the trumpets in our camp； and in twenty
more the greater part of the cavalry had joined us。
Up they came； five thousand men； their standards flapping in the
air； their long line of polished jack…boots gleaming in the golden
sunlight。 〃And now we are here；〃 said Major…General Sir Theophilus
Tinkler； 〃what next？〃 〃Oh； d… it；〃 said the Commander…in…Chief；
〃charge； chargenothing like charginggallopinggunsrascally
black scoundrelscharge； charge！〃 And then turning round to me
（perhaps he was glad to change the conversation）； he said；
〃Lieutenant Gahagan； you will stay with me。〃
And well for him I did； for I do not hesitate to say that the
battle WAS GAINED BY ME。 I do not mean to insult the reader by
pretending that any personal exertions of mine turned the day；
that I killed； for instance； a regiment of cavalry or swallowed a
battery of guns；such absurd tales would disgrace both the hearer
and the teller。 I； as is well known； never say a single word which
cannot be proved； and hate more than all other vices the absurd sin
of egotism； I simply mean that my ADVICE to the General； at a
quarter past two o'clock in the afternoon of that day； won this
great triumph for the British army。
Gleig； Mill； and Thorn have all told the tale of this war； though
somehow they have omitted all mention of the hero of it。 General
Lake； for the victory of that day； became Lord Lake of Laswaree。
Laswaree！ and who； forsooth； was the real conqueror of Laswaree？ I
can lay my hand upon my heart and say that I was。 If any proof is
wanting of the fact； let me give it at once； and from the highest
military testimony in the worldI mean that of the Emperor
Napoleon。
In the month of March； 1817； I was passenger on board the 〃Prince
Regent；〃 Captain Harris； which touched at St。 Helena on its passage
from Calcutta to England。 In company with the other officers on
board the ship； I paid my respects to the illustrious exile of
Longwood； who received us in his garden； where he was walking
about； in a nankeen dress and a large broad…brimmed straw…hat； with
General Montholon； Count Las Casas； and his son Emanuel； then a
little boy； who I dare say does not recollect me； but who