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release； and that his most intimate friend the English ambassador
would move heaven and earth to revenge his fall； he directed my
attention to a portmanteau passably well filled； which he hoped
would satisfy the cupidity of my troops。 I said； though with much
regret； that I must subject his person to a search； and hence arose
the circumstance which has called for what I fear you will consider
a somewhat tedious explanation。 I found upon Mr。 Sheeny's person
three sovereigns in English money （which I have to this day）； and
singularly enough a copy of The New Monthly Magazine； containing a
portion of my adventures。 It was a toss…up whether I should let
the poor young man be shot or no； but this little circumstance
saved his life。 The gratified vanity of authorship induced me to
accept his portmanteau and valuables； and to allow the poor wretch
to go free。 I put the Magazine in my coat…pocket； and left him and
the podesta。
The men； to my surprise； had quitted the building； and it was full
time for me to follow； for I found our sallying party； after
committing dreadful ravages in Oraa's lines； were in full retreat
upon the fort； hotly pressed by a superior force of the enemy。 I
am pretty well known and respected by the men of both parties in
Spain （indeed I served for some months on the Queen's side before I
came over to Don Carlos）； and； as it is my maxim never to give
quarter； I never expect to receive it when taken myself。 On
issuing from the podesta with Sheeny's portmanteau and my sword in
my hand； I was a little disgusted and annoyed to see our own men in
a pretty good column retreating at double…quick； and about four
hundred yards beyond me； up the hill leading to the fort； while on
my left hand； and at only a hundred yards； a troop of the Queenite
lancers were clattering along the road。
I had got into the very middle of the road before I made this
discovery； so that the fellows had a full sight of me； and whiz！
came a bullet by my left whisker before I could say Jack Robinson。
I looked roundthere were seventy of the accursed malvados at the
least； and within； as I said； a hundred yards。 Were I to say that
I stopped to fight seventy men； you would write me down a fool or a
liar： no； sir； I did not fight； I ran away。
I am six feet fourmy figure is as well known in the Spanish army
as that of the Count de Luchana； or my fierce little friend Cabrera
himself。 〃GAHAGAN！〃 shouted out half a dozen scoundrelly voices；
and fifty more shots came rattling after me。 I was running
running as the brave stag before the houndsrunning as I have done
a great number of times before in my life； when there was no help
for it but a race。
After I had run about five hundred yards； I saw that I had gained
nearly three upon our column in front； and that likewise the
Christino horsemen were left behind some hundred yards more； with
the exception of three； who were fearfully near me。 The first was
an officer without a lance； he had fired both his pistols at me；
and was twenty yards in advance of his comrades； there was a
similar distance between the two lancers who rode behind him。 I
determined then to wait for No。 1； and as he came up delivered cut
3 at his horse's near legoff it flew； and down； as I expected；
went horse and man。 I had hardly time to pass my sword through my
prostrate enemy； when No。 2 was upon me。 If I could but get that
fellow's horse； thought I； I am safe； and I executed at once the
plan which I hoped was to effect my rescue。
I had； as I said； left the podesta with Sheeny's portmanteau； and；
unwilling to part with some of the articles it containedsome
shirts； a bottle of whiskey； a few cakes of Windsor soap； &c。 &c。；
I had carried it thus far on my shoulders； but now was compelled
to sacrifice it malgre moi。 As the lancer came up； I dropped my
sword from my right hand； and hurled the portmanteau at his head；
with aim so true； that he fell back on his saddle like a sack； and
thus when the horse galloped up to me； I had no difficulty in
dismounting the rider： the whiskey…bottle struck him over his right
eye； and he was completely stunned。 To dash him from the saddle
and spring myself into it； was the work of a moment； indeed； the
two combats had taken place in about a fifth part of the time which
it has taken the reader to peruse the description。 But in the
rapidity of the last encounter； and the mounting of my enemy's
horse； I had committed a very absurd oversightI was scampering
away WITHOUT MY SWORD！ What was I to do？to scamper on； to be
sure； and trust to the legs of my horse for safety！
The lancer behind me gained on me every moment； and I could hear
his horrid laugh as he neared me。 I leaned forward jockey…fashion
in my saddle； and kicked； and urged； and flogged with my hand； but
all in vain。 Closercloserthe point of his lance was within two
feet of my back。 Ah！ ah！ he delivered the point； and fancy my
agony when I felt it enterthrough exactly fifty…nine pages of the
New Monthly Magazine。 Had it not been for that Magazine； I should
have been impaled without a shadow of a doubt。 Was I wrong in
feeling gratitude？ Had I not cause to continue my contributions to
that periodical？
When I got safe into Morella； along with the tail of the sallying
party； I was for the first time made acquainted with the ridiculous
result of the lancer's thrust （as he delivered his lance； I must
tell you that a ball came whiz over my head from our fellows； and
entering at his nose； put a stop to HIS lancing for the future）。 I
hastened to Cabrera's quarter； and related to him some of my
adventures during the day。
〃But； General；〃 said he； 〃you are standing。 I beg you chiudete
l'uscio （take a chair）。〃
I did so； and then for the first time was aware that there was some
foreign substance in the tail of my coat； which prevented my
sitting at ease。 I drew out the Magazine which I had seized； and
there； to my wonder； DISCOVERED THE CHRISTINO LANCE twisted up like
a fish…hook； or a pastoral crook。
〃Ha！ ha！ ha！〃 said Cabrera （who is a notorious wag）。
〃Valdepenas madrilenos；〃 growled out Tristany。
〃By my cachuca di caballero （upon my honor as a gentleman）；〃
shrieked out Ros d'Eroles； convulsed with laughter； 〃I will send it
to the Bishop of Leon for a crozier。〃
〃Gahagan has CONSECRATED it；〃 giggled out Ramon Cabrera； and so
they went on with their muchacas for an hour or more。 But； when
they heard that the means of my salvation from the lance of the
scoundrelly Christino had been the Magazine containing my own
history； their laugh was changed into wonder。 I read them
（speaking Spanish more fluently than English） every word of my
story。 〃But how is this？〃 said Cabrera。 〃You surely have other
adventures to relate？〃
〃Excellent Sir；〃 said I； 〃I have；〃 and that very evening； as we sat
over our cups of tertullia （sangaree）； I continued my narrative in
nearly the following words：
〃I left off in the very middle of the battle of Delhi； which ended；
as everybody knows； in the complete triumph of the British arms。
But who gained the battle？ Lord Lake is called Viscount Lake of
Delhi and Laswaree； while Major Gahanonsense； never mind HIM；
never mind the charge he executed when； sabre in hand； he leaped
the six…foot wall in the mouth of the roaring cannon； over the
heads of the gleaming pikes； when； with one hand seizing the sacred
peishcush； or fishwhich was the banner always borne before
Scindiah；he； with his good sword； cut off the trunk of the famous
white elephant； which； shrieking with agony； plunged madly into the
Mahratta ranks； followed by his giant brethren； tossing； like chaff
before the wind； the affrighted kitmatgars。 He； meanwhile； now
plunging into the midst of a battalion of consomahs； now cleaving
to the chine a screaming and ferocious bobbachee；* rushed on； like
the simoom across the red Zaharan plain； killing with his own hand；
a hundred and forty…thrbut never mind'ALONE HE DID IT；'
sufficient be it for him； however； that the victory was won： he
cares not for the empty honors which were awarded to more fortunate
men！
* The double…jointed camel of Bactria； which the classic reader may
recollect is mentioned by Suidas （in his Commentary on the Flight
of Darius）； is so called by the Mahrattas。
〃We marched after the battle to Delhi； where poor blind old Shah
Allum received us； and bestowed all kinds of honors and titles on
our General。 As each of the officers passed before him； the Shah
did not fail to remark my person；* and was told my name。
* There is some trifling inconsistency on the Major's part。 Shah
Allum was notoriously blind： how； then； could he have seen Gahagan？
The thing is manifestly impossible。
〃Lord Lake whispered to him my exploits； and the old man was so
delighted with the account of my victory over the elepha