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friend； what I have seen is not worth the trouble of relation； and
fills my bosom with the darkest forebodings。〃
〃You could not then see the Gujputi alone； and stab him with your
dagger？〃
＇Here was a pretty conspiracy！＇ 〃No； I saw him； but not alone； his
people were always with him。〃
〃Hurrumzadeh！ it is a pity； we waited but the sound of your jogree
（whistle）； and straightway would have galloped up and seized upon
every man； woman； and child in the fort： however； there are but a
dozen men in the garrison； and they have not provision for two
daysthey must yield； and then hurrah for the moon…faces！
Mashallah！ I am told the soldiers who first get in are to have
their pick。 How my old woman； Rotee Muckun； will be surprised when
I bring home a couple of Feringhee wives；ha！ ha！〃
〃Fool！〃 said I； 〃be still！twelve men in the garrison！ there are
twelve hundred！ Gahagan himself is as good as a thousand men； and
as for food； I saw with my own eyes five hundred bullocks grazing
in the court…yard as I entered。〃 This WAS a bouncer； I confess；
but my object was to deceive Puneeree Muckun； and give him as high
a notion as possible of the capabilities of defence which the
besieged had。
〃Pooch； pooch；〃 murmured the men； 〃it is a wonder of a fortress： we
shall never be able to take it until our guns come up。〃
There was hope then！ they had no battering…train。 Ere this
arrived； I trusted that Lord Lake would hear of our plight； and
march down to rescue us。 Thus occupied in thought and conversation；
we rode on until the advanced sentinel challenged us； when old
Puneeree gave the word； and we passed on into the centre of Holkar's
camp。
It was a strangea stirring sight！ The camp…fires were lighted；
and round themeating； reposing； talking； looking at the merry
steps of the dancing…girls； or listening to the stories of some
Dhol Baut （or Indian improvisatore） were thousands of dusky
soldiery。 The camels and horses were picketed under the banyan…
trees； on which the ripe mango fruit was growing； and offered them
an excellent food。 Towards the spot which the golden fish and
royal purdahs； floating in the wind； designated as the tent of
Holkar； led an immense avenueof elephants！ the finest street；
indeed； I ever saw。 Each of the monstrous animals had a castle on
its back； armed with Mauritanian archers and the celebrated Persian
matchlock…men： it was the feeding time of these royal brutes； and
the grooms were observed bringing immense toffungs； or baskets；
filled with pine…apples； plantains； bandannas； Indian corn； and
cocoa…nuts； which grow luxuriantly at all seasons of the year。 We
passed down this extraordinary avenueno less than three hundred
and eighty…eight tails did I count on each sideeach tail
appertaining to an elephant twenty…five feet higheach elephant
having a two…storied castle on its backeach castle containing
sleeping and eating rooms for the twelve men that formed its
garrison； and were keeping watch on the roofeach roof bearing a
flag…staff twenty feet long on its top； the crescent glittering
with a thousand gems； and round it the imperial standard；each
standard of silk velvet and cloth…of…gold； bearing the well…known
device of Holkar； argent an or gules； between a sinople of the
first； a chevron； truncated； wavy。 I took nine of these myself in
the course of a very short time after； and shall be happy； when I
come to England； to show them to any gentleman who has a curiosity
that way。 Through this gorgeous scene our little cavalcade passed；
and at last we arrived at the quarters occupied by Holkar。
That celebrated chieftain's tents and followers were gathered round
one of the British bungalows which had escaped the flames； and
which he occupied during the siege。 When I entered the large room
where he sat； I found him in the midst of a council of war； his
chief generals and viziers seated round him； each smoking his
hookah； as is the common way with these black fellows； before； at；
and after breakfast； dinner； supper； and bedtime。 There was such a
cloud raised by their smoke you could hardly see a yard before you
another piece of good luck for meas it diminished the chances of
my detection。 When； with the ordinary ceremonies； the kitmatgars
and consomahs had explained to the prince that Bobbachy Bahawder；
the right eye of the Sun of the universe （as the ignorant heathens
called me）； had arrived from his mission； Holkar immediately
summoned me to the maidaun； or elevated platform； on which he was
seated in a luxurious easy…chair； and I； instantly taking off my
slippers； falling on my knees； and beating my head against the
ground ninety…nine times； proceeded； still on my knees； a hundred
and twenty feet through the room； and then up the twenty steps
which led to his maidauna silly； painful； and disgusting
ceremony； which can only be considered as a relic of barbarian
darkness； which tears the knees and shins to pieces； let alone the
pantaloons。 I recommend anybody who goes to India； with the
prospect of entering the service of the native rajahs； to recollect
my advice and have them WELL…WADDED。
Well； the right eye of the Sun of the universe scrambled as well as
he could up the steps of the maidaun （on which in rows； smoking； as
I have said； the musnuds or general officers were seated）； and I
arrived within speaking…distance of Holkar； who instantly asked me
the success of my mission。 The impetuous old man thereon poured
out a multitude of questions： 〃How many men are there in the fort？〃
said he； 〃how many women？ Is it victualled？ Have they ammunition？
Did you see Gahagan Sahib； the commander？ did you kill him？〃
All these questions Jeswunt Row Holkar puffed out with so many
whiffs of tobacco。
Taking a chillum myself； and raising about me such a cloud that；
upon my honor as a gentleman； no man at three yards' distance could
perceive anything of me except the pillar of smoke in which I was
encompassed； I told Holkar； in Oriental language of course； the
best tale I could with regard to the fort。
〃Sir〃 said I； 〃to answer your last question firstthat dreadful
Gujputi I have seenand he is alive： he is eight feet； nearly； in
height； he can eat a bullock daily （of which he has seven hundred
at present in the compound； and swears that during the siege he
will content himself with only three a week）： he has lost in battle
his left eye； and what is the consequence？ O Ram Gunge〃 （O thou…
with…the…eye…as…bright…as…morning…and…with…beard…as…black…as…
night）； 〃Goliah GujputiNEVER SLEEPS！〃
〃Ah； you Ghorumsaug （you thief of the world）；〃 said the Prince
Vizier； Saadut Alee Beg Bimbukchee〃it's joking you are；〃and
there was a universal buzz through the room at the announcement of
this bouncer。
〃By the hundred and eleven incarnations of Vishnu；〃 said I；
solemnly； （an oath which no Indian was ever known to break；） 〃I
swear that so it is： so at least he told me； and I have good cause
to know his power。 Gujputi is an enchanter： he is leagued with
devils； he is invulnerable。 Look；〃 said I； unsheathing my dagger
and every eye turned instantly towards me〃thrice did I stab him
with this steelin the back； oncetwice right through the heart；
but he only laughed me to scorn； and bade me tell Holkar that the
steel was not yet forged which was to inflict an injury upon him。〃
I never saw a man in such a rage as Holkar was when I gave him this
somewhat imprudent message。
〃Ah； lily…livered rogue！〃 shouted he out to me； 〃milk…blooded
unbeliever！ pale…faced miscreant！ lives he after insulting thy
master in thy presence！ In the name of the prophet； I spit on
thee； defy thee； abhor thee； degrade thee！ Take that； thou liar of
the universe！ and thatand thatand that！〃
Such are the frightful excesses of barbaric minds！ every time this
old man said； 〃Take that；〃 he flung some article near him at the
head of the undaunted Gahaganhis dagger； his sword； his carbine；
his richly ornamented pistols； his turban covered with jewels；
worth a hundred thousand crores of rupeesfinally； his hookah；
snake mouthpiece； silver…bell； chillum and allwhich went hissing
over my head； and flattening into a jelly the nose of the Grand
Vizier。
〃Yock muzzee！ my nose is off；〃 said the old man； mildly。 Will you
have my life； O Holkar？ it is thine likewise！〃 and no other word of
complaint escaped his lips。
Of all these missiles； though a pistol and carbine had gone off as
the ferocious Indian flung them at my head； and the naked scimitar
fiercely but unadroitly thrown； had lopped off the limbs of one or
two of the musnuds as they sat trembling on their omrahs； yet；
strange to say； not a single weapon had hurt me。 When the hubbub
ceased； and the unlucky wretches who had been the victims of this
fit of rage had been removed； Holkar's good humor somewhat
returned； and he allowed me to continue my accou