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fit of rage had been removed； Holkar's good humor somewhat
returned； and he allowed me to continue my account of the fort；
which I did； not taking the slightest notice of his burst of
impatience： as indeed it would have been the height of impoliteness
to have done for such accidents happened many times in the day。
〃It is well that the Bobbachy has returned；〃 snuffled out the poor
Grand Vizier； after I had explained to the Council the extraordinary
means of defence possessed by the garrison。 〃Your star is bright；
O Bahawder！ for this very night we had resolved upon an escalade of
the fort； and we had sworn to put every one of the infidel garrison
to the edge of the sword。〃
〃But you have no battering train；〃 said I。
〃Bah！ we have a couple of ninety…six pounders； quite sufficient to
blow the gates open； and then； hey for a charge！〃 said Loll
Mahommed； a general of cavalry； who was a rival of Bobbachy's； and
contradicted； therefore； every word I said。 〃In the name of
Juggernaut； why wait for the heavy artillery？ Have we not swords？
Have we not hearts？ Mashallah！ Let cravens stay with Bobbachy；
all true men will follow Loll Mahommed！ Allahhumdillah； Bismillah；
Barikallah？〃* and drawing his scimitar； he waved it over his head；
and shouted out his cry of battle。 It was repeated by many of the
other omrahs； the sound of their cheers was carried into the camp；
and caught up by the men； the camels began to cry； the horses to
prance and neigh； the eight hundred elephants set up a scream； the
trumpeters and drummers clanged away at their instruments。 I never
heard such a din before or after。 How I trembled for my little
garrison when I heard the enthusiastic cries of this innumerable
host！
* The Major has put the most approved language into the mouths of
his Indian characters。 Bismillah； Barikallah； and so on； according
to the novelists； form the very essence of Eastern conversation。
There was but one way for it。 〃Sir；〃 said I； addressing Holkar；
〃go out to…night and you go to certain death。 Loll Mahommed has
not seen the fort as I have。 Pass the gate if you please； and for
what？ to fall before the fire of a hundred pieces of artillery； to
storm another gate； and then another； and then to be blown up； with
Gahagan's garrison in the citadel。 Who talks of courage？ Were I
not in your august presence； O star of the faithful； I would crop
Loll Mahommed's nose from his face； and wear his ears as an
ornament in my own pugree！ Who is there here that knows not the
difference between yonder yellow…skinned coward and Gahagan Khan
GujI mean Bobbachy Bahawder？ I am ready to fight one； two；
three； or twenty of them； at broad…sword； small…sword； single…
stick； with fists if you please。 By the holy piper； fighting is
like mate and dthrink to Gato Bobbachy； I manewhoop！ come on；
you divvle； and I'll bate the skin off your ugly bones。〃
This speech had very nearly proved fatal to me； for when I am
agitated； I involuntarily adopt some of the phraseology peculiar to
my own country； which is so un…eastern； that； had there been any
suspicion as to my real character； detection must indubitably have
ensued。 As it was； Holkar perceived nothing； but instantaneously
stopped the dispute。 Loll Mahommed； however； evidently suspected
something； for； as Holkar； with a voice of thunder； shouted out；
〃Tomasha （silence）；〃 Loll sprang forward and gasped out
〃My lord！ my lord I this is not Bob〃
But he could say no more。 〃Gag the slave！〃 screamed out Holkar；
stamping with fury： and a turban was instantly twisted round the
poor devil's jaws。 〃Ho； furoshes！ carry out Loll Mahommed Khan；
give him a hundred dozen on the soles of his feet； set him upon a
white donkey； and carry him round the camp； with an inscription
before him： 'This is the way that Holkar rewards the talkative。'〃
I breathed again； and ever as I heard each whack of the bamboo
falling on Loll Mahommed's feet； I felt peace returning to my mind；
and thanked my stars that I was delivered of this danger。
〃Vizier；〃 said Holkar； who enjoyed Loll's roars amazingly； 〃I owe
you a reparation for your nose： kiss the hand of your prince；
O Saadut Alee Beg Bimbukchee！ be from this day forth Zoheir
u Dowlut！〃
The good old man's eyes filled with tears。 〃I can bear thy
severity； O Prince；〃 said he； 〃I cannot bear thy love。 Was it not
an honor that your Highness did me just now when you condescended
to pass over the bridge of your slave's nose？〃
The phrase was by all voices pronounced to be very poetical。 The
Vizier retired； crowned with his new honors； to bed。 Holkar was in
high good humor。
〃Bobbachy；〃 said he； thou； too； must pardon me。 A propos； I have
news for thee。 Your wife； the incomparable Puttee Rooge；〃 （white
and red rose；） has arrived in camp。〃
〃My WIFE； my lord！〃 said I； aghast。
〃Our daughter； the light of thine eyes！ Go； my son； I see thou art
wild with joy。 The Princess's tents are set up close by mine； and
I know thou longest to join her。〃
My wife？ Here was a complication truly！
CHAPTER V。
THE ISSUE OF MY INTERVIEW WITH MY WIFE。
I found Puneeree Muckun； with the rest of my attendants； waiting at
the gate； and they immediately conducted me to my own tents in the
neighborhood。 I have been in many dangerous predicaments before
that time and since； but I don't care to deny that I felt in the
present instance such a throbbing of the heart as I never have
experienced when leading a forlorn hope； or marching up to a
battery。
As soon as I entered the tents a host of menials sprang forward；
some to ease me of my armor； some to offer me refreshments； some
with hookahs； attar of roses （in great quart…bottles）； and the
thousand delicacies of Eastern life。 I motioned them away。 〃I
will wear my armor；〃 said I； I shall go forth to…night； carry my
duty to the princess； and say I grieve that to…night I have not the
time to see her。 Spread me a couch here； and bring me supper here：
a jar of Persian wine well cooled； a lamb stuffed with pistachio…
nuts； a pillaw of a couple of turkeys； a curried kidanything。
Begone！ Give me a pipe； leave me alone； and tell me when the meal
is ready。〃
I thought by these means to put off the fair Puttee Rooge； and
hoped to be able to escape without subjecting myself to the
examination of her curious eyes。 After smoking for a while； an
attendant came to tell me that my supper was prepared in the inner
apartment of the tent （I suppose that the reader； if he be
possessed of the commonest intelligence； knows that the tents of
the Indian grandees are made of the finest Cashmere shawls； and
contain a dozen rooms at least； with carpets； chimneys； and sash…
windows complete）。 I entered； I say； into an inner chamber； and
there began with my fingers to devour my meal in the Oriental
fashion； taking； every now and then； a pull from the wine…jar；
which was cooling deliciously in another jar of snow。
I was just in the act of despatching the last morsel of a most
savory stewed lamb and rice； which had formed my meal； when I heard
a scuffle of feet； a shrill clatter of female voices； and； the
curtain being flung open； in marched a lady accompanied by twelve
slaves； with moon faces and slim waists； lovely as the houris in
Paradise。
The lady herself； to do her justice； was as great a contrast to her
attendants as could possibly be： she was crooked； old； of the
complexion of molasses； and rendered a thousand times more ugly by
the tawdry dress and the blazing jewels with which she was covered。
A line of yellow chalk drawn from her forehead to the tip of her
nose （which was further ornamented by an immense glittering nose…
ring）； her eyelids painted bright red； and a large dab of the same
color on her chin； showed she was not of the Mussulman； but the
Brahmin faithand of a very high caste； you could see that by her
eyes。 My mind was instantaneously made up as to my line of action。
The male attendants had of course quitted the apartment； as they
heard the well…known sound of her voice。 It would have been death
to them to have remained and looked in her face。 The females
ranged themselves round their mistress； as she squatted down
opposite to me。
〃And is this；〃 said she； 〃a welcome； O Khan！ after six months'
absence； for the most unfortunate and loving wife in all the world？
Is this lamb； O glutton！ half so tender as thy spouse？ Is this
wine； O sot！ half so sweet as her looks？〃
I saw the storm was brewingher slaves； to whom she turned； kept
up a kind of chorus：
〃Oh； the faithless one！〃 cried they。 〃Oh； the rascal； the false
one； who has no eye for beauty； and no heart for love； like the
Khanum's！〃
〃A lamb is not so sweet as love；〃 said I gravely： 〃but a lamb has a
good temper； a wine…cup is not so intoxicating as a womanbut a
wine…cup