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a tayspoonful of souchong； nor a thimbleful of bohay； nor the laste
taste in life of butther； salt or fresh； nor hot rowls or cowld！〃
〃In the name of heaven！〃 said Mrs。 Van； growing very pale； 〃what is
there； then？〃
〃Ladies and gentlemen； I'll tell you what there is now；〃 shouted I。
〃There's
〃Two drumsticks of fowls； and a bone of ham。
Fourteen bottles of ginger…beer；〃 &c。 &c。 &c。
And I went through the whole list of eatables as before； ending
with the ham…sandwiches and the pot of jelly。
〃Law！ Mr。 Gahagan；〃 said Mrs。 Colonel Vandegobbleschroy； 〃give me
the ham…sandwichesI must manage to breakfast off them。〃
And you should have heard the pretty to…do there was at this modest
proposition！ Of course I did not accede to itwhy should I？ I
was the commander of the fort； and intended to keep these three
very sandwiches for the use of myself and my dear Belinda。
〃Ladies；〃 said I； 〃there are in this fort one hundred and twenty…
six souls； and this is all the food which is to last us during the
siege。 Meat there is noneof drink there is a tolerable quantity；
and at one o'clock punctually； a glass of wine and one olive shall
be served out to each woman： the men will receive two glasses； and
an olive and a figand this must be your food during the siege。
Lord Lake cannot be absent more than three days； and if he bewhy；
still there is a chancewhy do I say a chance？a CERTAINTY of
escaping from the hands of these ruffians。〃
〃Oh； name it； name it； dear Captain Gahagan！〃 screeched the whole
covey at a breath。
〃It lies；〃 answered I； 〃in the POWDER MAGAZINE。 I will blow this
fort； and all it contains； to atoms； ere it becomes the prey of
Holkar。〃
The women； at this； raised a squeal that might have been heard in
Holkar's camp； and fainted in different directions； but my dear
Belinda whispered in my ear； 〃Well done； thou noble knight！ bravely
said； my heart's Goliah！〃 I felt I was right： I could have blown
her up twenty times for the luxury of that single moment！ 〃And
now； ladies；〃 said I； 〃I must leave you。 The two chaplains will
remain with you to administer professional consolationthe other
gentlemen will follow me up stairs to the ramparts； where I shall
find plenty of work for them。〃
CHAPTER VII。
THE ESCAPE。
Loth as they were； these gentlemen had nothing for it but to obey；
and they accordingly followed me to the ramparts； where I proceeded
to review my men。 The fort； in my absence； had been left in
command of Lieutenant Macgillicuddy； a countryman of my own （with
whom； as may be seen in an early chapter of my memoirs； I had an
affair of honor）； and the prisoner Bobbachy Bahawder； whom I had
only stunned； never wishing to kill him； had been left in charge of
that officer。 Three of the garrison （one of them a man of the
Ahmednuggar Irregulars； my own body…servant； Ghorumsaug above
named；） were appointed to watch the captive by turns； and never
leave him out of their sight。 The lieutenant was instructed to
look to them and to their prisoner； and as Bobbachy was severely
injured by the blow which I had given him； and was； moreover； bound
hand and foot； and gagged smartly with cords； I considered myself
sure of his person。
Macgillicuddy did not make his appearance when I reviewed my little
force； and the three havildars were likewise absent： this did not
surprise me； as I had told them not to leave their prisoner； but
desirous to speak with the lieutenant； I despatched a messenger to
him； and ordered him to appear immediately。
The messenger came back； he was looking ghastly pale： he whispered
some information into my ear； which instantly caused me to hasten
to the apartments where I had caused Bobbachy Bahawder to be
confined。
The men had fled；Bobbachy had fled； and in his place； fancy my
astonishment when I foundwith a rope cutting his naturally wide
mouth almost into his earswith a dreadful sabre…cut across his
foreheadwith his legs tied over his head； and his arms tied
between his legsmy unhappy； my attached friendMortimer
Macgillicuddy！
He had been in this position for about three hoursit was the very
position in which I had caused Bobbachy Bahawder to be placedan
attitude uncomfortable； it is true； but one which renders escape
impossible； unless treason aid the prisoner。
I restored the lieutenant to his natural erect position： I poured
half a bottle of whiskey down the immensely enlarged orifice of his
mouth； and when he had been released； he informed me of the
circumstances that had taken place。
Fool that I was！ idiot！upon my return to the fort； to have been
anxious about my personal appearance； and to have spent a couple of
hours in removing the artificial blackening from my beard and
complexion； instead of going to examine my prisonerwhen his
escape would have been prevented。 O foppery； foppery！it was that
cursed love of personal appearance which had led me to forget my
duty to my general； my country； my monarch； and my own honor！
Thus it was that the escape took place：My own fellow of the
Irregulars； whom I had summoned to dress me； performed the
operation to my satisfaction； invested me with the elegant uniform
of my corps； and removed the Pitan's disguise； which I had taken
from the back of the prostrate Bobbachy Bahawder。 What did the
rogue do next？Why； he carried back the dress to the Bobbachyhe
put it； once more； on its right owner； he and his infernal black
companions （who had been won over by the Bobbachy with promises of
enormous reward）； gagged Macgillicuddy； who was going the rounds；
and then marched with the Indian coolly up to the outer gate； and
gave the word。 The sentinel； thinking it was myself； who had first
come in； and was as likely to go out again；（indeed my rascally
valet said that Gahagan Sahib was about to go out with him and his
two companions to reconnoitre；）opened the gates； and off they
went！
This accounted for the confusion of my valet when I entered！and
for the scoundrel's speech； that the lieutenant had JUST BEEN THE
ROUNDS；he HAD； poor fellow； and had been seized and bound in this
cruel way。 The three men； with their liberated prisoner； had just
been on the point of escape； when my arrival disconcerted them： I
had changed the guard at the gate （whom they had won over
likewise）； and yet； although they had overcome poor Mac； and
although they were ready for the start； they had positively no
means for effecting their escape； until I was ass enough to put
means in their way。 Fool！ fool！ thrice besotted fool that I was；
to think of my own silly person when I should have been occupied
solely with my public duty。
From Macgillicuddy's incoherent accounts； as he was gasping from
the effects of the gag and the whiskey he had taken to revive him；
and from my own subsequent observations； I learned this sad story。
A sudden and painful thought struck memy precious box！I rushed
back； I found that boxI have it still。 Opening it； there； where
I had left ingots； sacks of bright tomauns； kopeks and rupees；
strings of diamonds as big as ducks' eggs； rubies as red as the
lips of my Belinda； countless strings of pearls； amethysts；
emeralds； piles upon piles of bank…notesI founda piece of
paper！ with a few lines in the Sanscrit language； which are thus；
word for word； translated：
〃EPIGRAM。
〃（On disappointing a certain Major。）
〃The conquering Lion return'd with his prey；
And safe in his cavern he set it；
The sly little fox stole the booty away；
And； as he escaped； to the lion did say；
'AHA！ don't you wish you may get it？'〃
Confusion！ Oh； how my blood boiled as I read these cutting lines。
I stamped；I swore；I don't know to what insane lengths my rage
might have carried me； had not at this moment a soldier rushed in；
screaming； 〃The enemy； the enemy！〃
CHAPTER VIII。
THE CAPTIVE。
It was high time； indeed； that I should make my appearance。 Waving
my sword with one hand； and seizing my telescope with the other； I
at once frightened and examined the enemy。 Well they knew when
they saw that flamingo…plume floating in the breezethat awful
figure standing in the breachthat waving war…sword sparkling in
the skywell； I say； they knew the name of the humble individual
who owned the sword； the plume； and the figure。 The ruffians were
mustered in front； the cavalry behind。 The flags were flying； the
drums； gongs； tambourines； violoncellos； and other instruments of
Eastern music； raised in the air a strange； barbaric melody； the
officers （yatabals）； mounted on white dromedaries； were seen
galloping to and fro； carrying to the advancing hosts the orders of
Holkar。
You see that two sides of the fort of Futtyghur （rising as it does
on a rock that is almost perpendicular） are defended