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Alas！ who would have thought those two gallant heads would be so
soon laid low？ My wife has a pair of earrings which the latter；
who always wore them； presented to herbut we are advancing
matters。 Anybody could see； 〃avec un demioeil；〃 as the Prince of
Benevento remarked； how affairs went between me and Blanche； but
though she loathed him for his cruelties and the odiousness of his
person； the brutal Cambaceres still pursued his designs upon her。
I recollect it was on St。 Patrick's Day。 My lovely friend had
procured； from the gardens of the Empress Josephine； at Malmaison
（whom we loved a thousand times more than her Austrian successor； a
sandy…haired woman； between ourselves； with an odious squint）； a
quantity of shamrock wherewith to garnish the hotel； and all the
Irish in Paris were invited to the national festival。
I and Prince Talleyrand danced a double hornpipe with Pauline
Bonaparte and Madame de Stael； Marshal Soult went down a couple of
sets with Madame Recamier； and Robespierre's widowan excellent；
gentle creature； quite unlike her husbandstood up with the
Austrian ambassador。 Besides； the famous artists Baron Gros； David
and Nicholas Poussin； and Canova； who was in town making a statue
of the Emperor for Leo X。； and； in a word； all the celebrities of
Parisas my gifted countrywoman； the wild Irish girl； calls them
were assembled in the Marquis's elegant receiving…rooms。
At last a great outcry was raised for La Gigue Irlandaise！ La
Gigue Irlandaise！ a dance which had made a fureur amongst the
Parisians ever since the lovely Blanche Sarsfield had danced it。
She stepped forward and took me for a partner； and amidst the
bravoes of the crowd； in which stood Ney； Murat； Lannes； the Prince
of Wagram； and the Austrian ambassador； we showed to the beau monde
of the French capital； I flatter myself； a not unfavorable specimen
of the dance of our country。
As I was cutting the double…shuffle； and toe…and…heeling it in the
〃rail〃 style； Blanche danced up to me； smiling； and said； 〃Be on
your guard； I see Cambaceres talking to Fouche； the Duke of
Otranto； about us； and when Otranto turns his eyes upon a man； they
bode him no good。〃
〃Cambaceres is jealous；〃 said I。 〃I have it；〃 says she； 〃I'll make
him dance a turn with me。〃 So； presently； as the music was going
like mad all this time； I pretended fatigue from my late wounds；
and sat down。 The lovely Blanche went up smiling； and brought out
Cambaceres as a second partner。
The Marshal is a lusty man； who makes desperate efforts to give
himself a waist； and the effect of the exercise upon him was
speedily visible。 He puffed and snorted like a walrus； drops
trickled down his purple face； while my lovely mischief of a
Blanche went on dancing at treble quick； till she fairly danced him
down。
〃Who'll take the flure with me？〃 said the charming girl； animated
by the sport。
〃Faix； den； 'tis I； Lanty Clancy！〃 cried my rascal； who had been
mad with excitement at the scene； and； stepping in with a whoop and
a hurroo； he began to dance with such rapidity as made all present
stare。
As the couple were footing it； there was a noise as of a rapid
cavalcade traversing the Place Vendome； and stopping at the
Marquis's door。 A crowd appeared to mount the stair； the great
doors of the reception…room were flung open； and two pages
announced their Majesties the Emperor and the Empress。 So engaged
were Lanty and Blanche； that they never heard the tumult occasioned
by the august approach。
It was indeed the Emperor； who； returning from the Theatre
Francais； and seeing the Marquis's windows lighted up； proposed to
the Empress to drop in on the party。 He made signs to the
musicians to continue： and the conqueror of Marengo and Friedland
watched with interest the simple evolutions of two happy Irish
people。 Even the Empress smiled and； seeing this； all the
courtiers； including Naples and Talleyrand； were delighted。
〃Is not this a great day for Ireland？〃 said the Marquis； with a
tear trickling down his noble face。 〃O Ireland！ O my country！
But no more of that。 Go up； Phil； you divvle； and offer her
Majesty the choice of punch or negus。〃
Among the young fellows with whom I was most intimate in Paris was
Eugene Beauharnais； the son of the ill…used and unhappy Josephine
by her former marriage with a French gentleman of good family。
Having a smack of the old blood in him； Eugene's manners were much
more refined than those of the new…fangled dignitaries of the
Emperor's Court； where （for my knife and fork were regularly laid
at the Tuileries） I have seen my poor friend Murat repeatedly
mistake a fork for a toothpick； and the gallant Massena devour
pease by means of his knife； in a way more innocent than graceful。
Talleyrand； Eugene； and I used often to laugh at these eccentricities
of our brave friends； who certainly did not shine in the
drawing…room； however brilliant they were in the field of battle。
The Emperor always asked me to take wine with him； and was full of
kindness and attention。
〃I like Eugene；〃 he would say； pinching my ear confidentially； as
his way was〃I like Eugene to keep company with such young fellows
as you； you have manners； you have principles； my rogues from the
camp have none。 And I like you； Philip my boy；〃 he added； 〃for
being so attentive to my poor wifethe Empress Josephine； I mean。〃
All these honors made my friends at the Marquis's very proud； and
my enemies at Court crever with envy。 Among these； the atrocious
Cambaceres was not the least active and envenomed。
The cause of the many attentions which were paid to me； and which；
like a vain coxcomb； I had chosen to attribute to my own personal
amiability； soon was apparent。 Having formed a good opinion of my
gallantry from my conduct in various actions and forlorn hopes
during the war； the Emperor was most anxious to attach me to his
service。 The Grand Cross of St。 Louis； the title of Count； the
command of a crack cavalry regiment； the l4me Chevaux Marins； were
the bribes that were actually offered to me； and must I say it？
Blanche； the lovely； the perfidious Blanche； was one of the agents
employed to tempt me to commit this act of treason。
〃Object to enter a foreign service！〃 she said； in reply to my
refusal。 〃It is you； Philip； who are in a foreign service。 The
Irish nation is in exile； and in the territories of its French
allies。 Irish traitors are not here； they march alone under the
accursed flag of the Saxon； whom the great Napoleon would have
swept from the face of the earth； but for the fatal valor of Irish
mercenaries！ Accept this offer； and my heart； my hand； my all are
yours。 Refuse it； Philip； and we part。〃
〃To wed the abominable Cambaceres！〃 I cried； stung with rage。 〃To
wear a duchess's coronet； Blanche！ Ha； ha！ Mushrooms； instead of
strawberry…leaves； should decorate the brows of the upstart French
nobility。 I shall withdraw my parole。 I demand to be sent to
prisonto be exchangedto dieanything rather than be a traitor；
and the tool of a traitress！〃 Taking up my hat； I left the room in
a fury； and flinging open the door tumbled over Cambaceres； who was
listening at the key…hole； and must have overheard every word of
our conversation。
We tumbled over each other； as Blanche was shrieking with laughter
at our mutual discomfiture。 Her scorn only made me more mad； and；
having spurs on； I began digging them into Cambaceres' fat sides as
we rolled on the carpet； until the Marshal howled with rage and
anger。
〃This insult must be avenged with blood！〃 roared the Duke of
Illyria。
〃I have already drawn it；〃 says I； 〃with my spurs。〃
〃Malheur et malediction！〃 roared the Marshal。
〃Hadn't you better settle your wig？〃 says I； offering it to him on
the tip of my cane； 〃and we'll arrange time and place when you have
put your jasey in order。〃 I shall never forget the look of revenge
which he cast at me； as I was thus turning him into ridicule before
his mistress。
〃Lady Blanche；〃 I continued bitterly； 〃as you look to share the
Duke's coronet； hadn't you better see to his wig？〃 and so saying； I
cocked my hat； and walked out of the Marquis's place； whistling
〃Garryowen。〃
I knew my man would not be long in following me； and waited for him
in the Place Vendome； where I luckily met Eugene too； who was
looking at the picture…shop in the corner。 I explained to him my
affair in a twinkling。 He at once agreed to go with me to the
ground； and commended me； rather than otherwise； for refusing the
offer which had been made to me。 〃I knew it would be so；〃 he said；
kindly； 〃I told my father you wouldn't。 A man with the blood of
the Fogarties； Phil my boy； doesn't wheel about like those fellows
of yesterday。〃 So； when Cambaceres came out； which he did
presently； with a more furious air than before； I handed him at