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were the forts guarded； without having his head taken off by a
cannon…ball。 Thus the three conflicting parties stood； close to
each other； hating each other； 〃willing to wound and yet afraid to
strike〃the victuals in the forts； from the prodigious increase of
the garrisons； getting smaller every day。 As for Louis Philippe in
his palace； in the centre of the twenty…four forts； knowing that a
spark from one might set them all blazing away； and that he and his
money…bags might be blown into eternity in ten minutes； you may
fancy his situation was not very comfortable。
But his safety lay in his treasure。 Neither the Imperialists nor
the Bourbonites were willing to relinquish the two hundred and
fifty billions in gold； nor would the Princes of Orleans dare to
fire upon that considerable sum of money； and its possessor； their
revered father。 How was this state of things to end？ The Emperor
sent a note to his Most Christian Majesty （for they always styled
each other in this manner in their communications）； proposing that
they should turn out and decide the quarrel sword in hand； to which
proposition Henri would have acceded； but that the priests； his
ghostly counsellors； threatened to excommunicate him should he do
so。 Hence this simple way of settling the dispute was impossible。
The presence of the holy fathers caused considerable annoyance in
the forts。 Especially the poor English； as Protestants； were
subject to much petty persecution； to the no small anger of
Jenkins； their commander。 And it must be confessed that these
intrepid Footmen were not so amenable to discipline as they might
have been。 Remembering the usages of merry England； they clubbed
together； and swore they would have four meals of meat a day； wax…
candles in the casemates； and their porter。 These demands were
laughed at： the priests even called upon them to fast on Fridays；
on which a general mutiny broke out in the regiment； and they would
have had a FOURTH standard raised before Parisviz。； that of
Englandbut the garrison proving too strong for them； they were
compelled to lay down their sticks； and； in consideration of past
services； were permitted to leave the forts。 'Twas well for them！
as you shall hear。
The Prince of Ballybunion and the Irish force were quartered in the
fort which； in compliment to them； was called Fort Potato； and
where they made themselves as comfortable as circumstances would
admit。 The Princes had as much brandy as they liked； and passed
their time on the ramparts playing at dice； or pitch…and…toss （with
the halfpenny that one of them somehow had） for vast sums of money；
for which they gave their notes…of…hand。 The warriors of their
legion would stand round delighted； and it was； 〃Musha； Master Dan；
but that's a good throw！〃 〃Good luck to you； Misther Pat； and
throw thirteen this time！〃 and so forth。 But this sort of inaction
could not last long。 They had heard of the treasures amassed in
the palace of the Tuileries： they sighed when they thought of the
lack of bullion in their green and beautiful country。 They panted
for war！ They formed their plan。
CHAPTER VIII。
THE BATTLE OF THE FORTS。
On the morning of the 26th October； 1884； as his Majesty Louis
Philippe was at breakfast reading the Debats newspaper； and wishing
that what the journal said about 〃Cholera Morbus in the Camp of the
Pretender Henri；〃〃Chicken…pox raging in the Forts of the Traitor
Bonaparte；〃might be true； what was his surprise to hear the
report of a gun； and at the same instantwhiz！ came an eighty…
four…pound ball through the window and took off the head of the
faithful Monsieur de Montalivet； who was coming in with a plate of
muffins。
〃Three francs for the window；〃 said the monarch； 〃and the muffins
of course spoiled！〃 and he sat down to breakfast very peevishly。
Ah； King Louis Philippe； that shot cost thee more than a window…
panemore than a plate of muffinsit cost thee a fair kingdom and
fifty millions of tax…payers。
The shot had been fired from Fort Potato。 〃Gracious heavens！〃 said
the commander of the place to the Irish Prince； in a fury； 〃What
has your Highness done？〃 〃Faix；〃 replied the other； 〃Donegal and I
saw a sparrow on the Tuileries； and we thought we'd have a shot at
it； that's all。〃 〃Hurroo！ look out for squalls；〃 here cried the
intrepid Hibernian； for at this moment one of Paixhans' shells fell
into the counterscarp of the demilune on which they were standing；
and sent a ravelin and a couple of embrasures flying about their
ears。
Fort Twenty…three； which held out for Louis Philippe； seeing Fort
Twenty…four； or Potato； open a fire on the Tuileries； instantly
replied by its guns； with which it blazed away at the Bourbonite
fort。 On seeing this； Fort Twenty…two） occupied by the Imperialists；
began pummelling Twenty…three； Twenty…one began at Twenty…two； and
in a quarter of an hour the whole of this vast line of fortification
was in a blaze of flame； flashing； roaring； cannonading； rocketing；
bombing； in the most tremendous manner。 The world has never perhaps；
before or since； heard such an uproar。 Fancy twenty…four thousand
guns thundering at each other。 Fancy the sky red with the fires of
hundreds of thousands of blazing； brazen meteors； the air thick with
impenetrable smokethe universe almost in a flame！ for the noise of
the cannonading was heard on the peaks of the Andes； and broke three
windows in the English factory at Canton。 Boom； boom； boom！
for three days incessantly the giganticI may say； Cyclopean
battle went on： boom； boom； boom； bong！ The air was thick with
cannon…balls： they hurtled； they jostled each other in the heavens；
and fell whizzing； whirling； crashing； back into the very forts
from which they came。 Boom； boom； boom； bongbrrwrrwrrr！
On the second day a band might have been seen （had the smoke
permitted it） assembling at the sally…port of Fort Potato； and have
been heard （if the tremendous clang of the cannonading had allowed
it） giving mysterious signs and countersigns。 〃Tom；〃 was the word
whispered； 〃Steele〃 was the sibilated response。 （It is astonishing
how； in the roar of elements； THE HUMAN WHISPER hisses above all！）
It was the Irish Brigade assembling。 〃Now or never； boys！〃 said
their leaders； and sticking their doodeens into their mouths； they
dropped stealthily into the trenches； heedless of the broken glass
and sword…blades； rose from those trenches； formed in silent order；
and marched to Paris。 They knew they could arrive there unobserved
nobody； indeed； remarked their absence。
The frivolous Parisians were； in the meanwhile； amusing themselves
at their theatres and cafes as usual； and a new piece； in which
Arnal performed； was the universal talk of the foyers： while a new
feuilleton by Monsieur Eugene Sue； kept the attention of the reader
so fascinated to the journal； that they did not care in the least
for the vacarme without the walls。
CHAPTER IX。
LOUIS XVII。
The tremendous cannonading； however； had a singular effect upon the
inhabitants of the great public hospital of Charenton； in which it
may be remembered Louis XVII。 had been； as in mockery； confined。
His majesty of demeanor； his calm deportment； the reasonableness of
his pretensions； had not failed to strike with awe and respect his
four thousand comrades of captivity。 The Emperor of China； the
Princess of the Moon； Julius Caesar； Saint Genevieve； the patron
saint of Paris； the Pope of Rome； the Cacique of Mexico； and
several singular and illustrious personages who happened to be
confined there； all held a council with Louis XVII。； and all agreed
that now or never was the time to support his legitimate pretensions
to the Crown of France。 As the cannons roared around them； they
howled with furious delight in response。 They took counsel
together： Dr。 Pinel and the infamous jailers； who； under the name of
keepers； held them in horrible captivity； were pounced upon and
overcome in a twinkling。 The strait…waistcoats were taken off from
the wretched captives languishing in the dungeons； the guardians
were invested in these shameful garments； and with triumphant
laughter plunged under the Douches。 The gates of the prison were
flung open； and they marched forth in the blackness of the storm！
。 。 。 。 。 。
On the third day； the cannonading was observed to decrease； only a
gun went off fitfully now and then。
。 。 。 。 。 。
On the fourth day； the Parisians said to one another； 〃Tiens！ ils
sont fatigues； les cannoniers des forts！〃and why？ Because there
was no more powder？Ay； truly； there WAS no more powder。
There was no more powder； no more guns； no more gunners； no more
forts； no more nothing。 THE FORTS HAD BLOWN EACH OTHER UP。 The
battle…roar ceased。 The battle