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burlesques-第91章

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forts; no more nothing。  THE FORTS HAD BLOWN EACH OTHER UP。  The

battle…roar ceased。  The battle…clouds rolled off。  The silver

moon; the twinkling stars; looked blandly down from the serene

azure;and all was peacestillnessthe stillness of death。

Holy; holy silence!



Yes: the battle of Paris was over。  And where were the combatants?

All gonenot one left!And where was Louis Philippe?  The

venerable Prince was a captive in the Tuileries; the Irish Brigade

was encamped around it: they had reached the palace a little too

late; it was already occupied by the partisans of his Majesty Louis

XVII。



That respectable monarch and his followers better knew the way to

the Tuileries than the ignorant sons of Erin。  They burst through

the feeble barriers of the guards; they rushed triumphant into the

kingly halls of the palace; they seated the seventeenth Louis on

the throne of his ancestors; and the Parisians read in the Journal

des Debats; of the fifth of November; an important article; which

proclaimed that the civil war was concluded:



〃The troubles which distracted the greatest empire in the world are

at an end。  Europe; which marked with sorrow the disturbances which

agitated the bosom of the Queen of Nations; the great leader of

Civilization; may now rest in peace。  That monarch whom we have

long been sighing for; whose image has lain hidden; and yet oh! how

passionately worshipped; in every French heart; is with us once

more。  Blessings be on him; blessingsa thousand blessings upon

the happy country which is at length restored to his beneficent;

his legitimate; his reasonable sway!



〃His Most Christian Majesty Louis XVII。 yesterday arrived at his

palace of the Tulleries; accompanied by his august allies。  His

Royal Highness the Duke of Orleans has resigned his post as

Lieutenant…General of the kingdom; and will return speedily to take

up his abode at the Palais Royal。  It is a great mercy that the

children of his Royal Highness; who happened to be in the late

forts round Paris; (before the bombardment which has so happily

ended in their destruction;) had returned to their father before

the commencement of the cannonading。  They will continue; as

heretofore; to be the most loyal supporters of order and the

throne。



〃None can read without tears in their eyes our august monarch's

proclamation。



〃'Louis; by &c。



〃'My children!  After nine hundred and ninety…nine years of

captivity; I am restored to you。  The cycle of events predicted by

the ancient Magi; and the planetary convolutions mentioned in the

lost Sibylline books; have fulfilled their respective idiosyncrasies;

and ended (as always in the depths of my dungeons I confidently

expected) in the triumph of the good Angel; and the utter

discomfiture of the abominable Blue Dragon。



〃'When the bombarding began; and the powers of darkness commenced

their hellish gunpowder evolutions; I was close byin my palace of

Charenton; three hundred and thirty…three thousand miles off; in

the ring of SaturnI witnessed your misery。  My heart was affected

by it; and I said; 〃Is the multiplication…table a fiction? are the

signs of the Zodiac mere astronomers' prattle?〃



〃'I clapped chains; shrieking and darkness; on my physician; Dr。

Pinel。  The keepers I shall cause to be roasted alive。  I summoned

my allies round about me。  The high contracting Powers came to my

bidding: monarchs from all parts of the earth; sovereigns from the

Moon and other illumined orbits; the white necromancers; and the

pale imprisoned genii。  I whispered the mystic sign; and the doors

flew open。  We entered Paris in triumph; by the Charenton bridge。

Our luggage was not examined at the Octroi。  The bottle…green ones

were scared at our shouts; and retreated; howling: they knew us;

and trembled。



〃'My faithful Peers and Deputies will rally around me。  I have a

friend in Turkeythe Grand Vizier of the Mussulmans: he was a

Protestant onceLord Brougham by name。  I have sent to him to

legislate for us: he is wise in the law; and astrology; and all

sciences; he shall aid my Ministers in their councils。  I have

written to him by the post。  There shall be no more infamous mad…

houses in France; where poor souls shiver in strait…waistcoats。



〃'I recognized Louis Philippe; my good cousin。  He was in his

counting…house; counting out his money; as the old prophecy warned

me。  He gave me up the keys of his gold; I shall know well how to

use it。  Taught by adversity; I am not a spendthrift; neither am I

a miser。  I will endow the land with noble institutions instead of

diabolical forts。  I will have no more cannon founded。  They are a

curse and shall be meltedthe iron ones into railroads; the bronze

ones into statues of beautiful saints; angels; and wise men; the

copper ones into money; to be distributed among my poor。  I was

poor once; and I love them。



〃'There shall be no more poverty; no more wars; no more avarice; no

more passports; no more custom…houses; no more lying: no more

physic。



〃'My Chambers will put the seal to these reforms。  I will it。  I am

the king。



(Signed)  'Louis。'〃





〃Some alarm was created yesterday by the arrival of a body of the

English Foot…Guard under the Duke of Jenkins; they were at first

about to sack the city; but on hearing that the banner of the

lilies was once more raised in France; the Duke hastened to the

Tuileries; and offered his allegiance to his Majesty。  It was

accepted: and the Plush Guard has been established in place of the

Swiss; who waited on former sovereigns。〃





〃The Irish Brigade quartered in the Tuileries are to enter our

service。  Their commander states that they took every one of the

forts round Paris; and having blown them up; were proceeding to

release Louis XVII。; when they found that august monarch; happily;

free。  News of their glorious victory has been conveyed to Dublin;

to his Majesty the King of the Irish。  It will be a new laurel to

add to his green crown!〃





And thus have we brought to a conclusion our history of the great

French Revolution of 1884。  It records the actions of great and

various characters; the deeds of various valor; it narrates

wonderful reverses of fortune; it affords the moralist scope for

his philosophy; perhaps it gives amusement to the merely idle

reader。  Nor must the latter imagine; because there is not a

precise moral affixed to the story; that its tendency is otherwise

than good。  He is a poor reader; for whom his author is obliged to

supply a moral application。  It is well in spelling…books and for

children; it is needless for the reflecting spirit。  The drama of

Punch himself is not moral: but that drama has had audiences all

over the world。  Happy he; who in our dark times can cause a smile!

Let us laugh then; and gladden in the sunshine; though it be but as

the ray upon the pool; that flickers only over the cold black

depths below!









COX'S DIARY。



THE ANNOUNCEMENT。





On the 1st of January; 1838; I was the master of a lovely shop in

the neighborhood of Oxford Market; of a wife; Mrs。 Cox; of a

business; both in the shaving and cutting line; established three…

and…thirty years; of a girl and boy respectively of the ages of

eighteen and thirteen; of a three…windowed front; both to my first

and second pair; of a young foreman; my present partner; Mr。

Orlando Crump; and of that celebrated mixture for the human hair;

invented by my late uncle; and called Cox's Bohemian Balsam of

Tokay; sold in pots at two…and…three and three…and…nine。  The

balsam; the lodgings; and the old…established cutting and shaving

business brought me in a pretty genteel income。  I had my girl;

Jemimarann; at Hackney; to school; my dear boy; Tuggeridge; plaited

her hair beautifully; my wife at the counter (behind the tray of

patent soaps; &c。) cut as handsome a figure as possible; and it was

my hope that Orlando and my girl; who were mighty soft upon one

another; would one day be joined together in Hyming; and;

conjointly with my son Tug; carry on the business of hairdressers

when their father was either dead or a gentleman: for a gentleman

me and Mrs。 C。 determined I should be。



Jemima was; you see; a lady herself; and of very high connections:

though her own family had met with crosses; and was rather low。

Mr。 Tuggeridge; her father; kept the famous tripe…shop near the

〃Pigtail and Sparrow;〃 in the Whitechapel Road; from which place I

married her; being myself very fond of the article; and especially

when she served it to methe dear thing!



Jemima's father was not successful in business: and I married her;

I am proud to confess it; without a shilling。  I had my hands; my

house; and my Bohemian balsam to support her!and we had hopes

from her uncle; a mighty rich East India merchant; who; having left

this country sixty years ago as a cabin…boy; had arrived to be the

head of
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