按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃Well；〃 says he； 〃you're mighty bold for a barber； and I like you；
Coxe； for your spirit。〃 And so we came out of the gate。
As for describing the hunt； I own； fairly； I can't。 I've been at a
hunt； but what a hunt iswhy the horses WILL go among the dogs and
ride them downwhy the men cry out 〃yooooic〃why the dogs go
snuffing about in threes and fours； and the huntsman says； 〃Good
Towlergood Betsy；〃 and we all of us after him say； 〃Good Towler
good Betsy〃 in course： then； after hearing a yelp here and a howl
there； tow； row； yow； yow； yow！ burst out； all of a sudden； from
three or four of them； and the chap in a velvet cap screeches out
（with a number of oaths I shan't repeat here）； 〃Hark； to Ringwood！〃
and then； 〃There he goes！〃 says some one； and all of a sudden；
helter skelter； skurry hurry； slap bang； whooping； screeching and
hurraing； blue…coats and red…coats； bays and grays； horses； dogs；
donkeys； butchers； baro…knights； dustmen； and blackguard boys； go
tearing all together over the common after two or three of the pack
that yowl loudest。 Why all this is； I can't say； but it all took
place the second Thursday of last March； in my presence。
Up to this； I'd kept my seat as well as the best； for we'd only
been trotting gently about the field until the dogs found； and I
managed to stick on very well； but directly the tow…rowing began；
off went Trumpeter like a thunderbolt； and I found myself playing
among the dogs like the donkey among the chickens。 〃Back； Mr。
Coxe；〃 holloas the huntsman； and so I pulled very hard； and cried
out； Wo！〃 but he wouldn't； and on I went galloping for the dear
life。 How I kept on is a wonder； but I squeezed my knees in very
tight； and shoved my feet very hard into the stirrups； and kept
stiff hold of the scruff of Trumpeter's neck； and looked betwixt
his ears as well as ever I could； and trusted to luck： for I was in
a mortal fright； sure enough； as many a better man would be in such
a case； let alone a poor hairdresser。
As for the hounds； after my first riding in among them； I tell you
honestly； I never saw so much as the tip of one of their tails；
nothing in this world did I see except Trumpeter's dun…colored
mane； and that I gripped firm： riding； by the blessing of luck；
safe through the walking； the trotting； the galloping； and never so
much as getting a tumble。
There was a chap at Croydon very well known as the 〃Spicy Dustman；〃
who； when he could get no horse to ride to the hounds； turned
regularly out on his donkey； and on this occasion made one of us。
He generally managed to keep up with the dogs by trotting quietly
through the cross…roads； and knowing the country well。 Well；
having a good guess where the hounds would find； and the line that
sly Reynolds （as they call the fox） would take； the Spicy Dustman
turned his animal down the lane from Squashtail to Cutshins Common；
across which； sure enough； came the whole hunt。 There's a small
hedge and a remarkably fine ditch here： some of the leading chaps
took both； in gallant style； others went round by a gate； and so
would I； only I couldn't； for Trumpeter would have the hedge； and
be hanged to him； and went right for it。
Hoop！ if ever you DID try a leap！ Out go your legs； out fling your
arms； off goes your hat； and the next thing you feelthat is； I
didis a most tremendous thwack across the chest； and my feet
jerked out of the stirrups： me left in the branches of a tree；
Trumpeter gone clean from under me； and walloping and floundering
in the ditch underneath。 One of the stirrup…leathers had caught in
a stake； and the horse couldn't get away： and neither of us； I
thought； ever WOULD have got away： but all of a sudden； who should
come up the lane but the Spicy Dustman！
〃Holloa！〃 says I； 〃you gent； just let us down from this here tree！〃
〃Lor'！〃 says he； 〃I'm blest if I didn't take you for a robin。〃
〃Let's down；〃 says I； but he was all the time employed in disengaging
Trumpeter； whom he got out of the ditch； trembling and as quiet as
possible。 〃Let's down；〃 says I。 〃Presently；〃 says he； and taking
off his coat； he begins whistling and swishing down Trumpeter's
sides and saddle； and when he had finished； what do you think the
rascal did？he just quietly mounted on Trumpeter's back； and shouts
out； 〃Git down yourself； old Bearsgrease； you've only to drop！ I'LL
give your 'oss a hairing arter them 'ounds； and youvy； you may
ride back my pony to Tuggeridgeweal！〃 And with this； I'm blest if
he didn't ride away； leaving me holding； as for the dear life； and
expecting every minute the branch would break。
It DID break too； and down I came into the slush； and when I got
out of it； I can tell you I didn't look much like the Venuses or
the Apollor Belvidearis what I used to dress and titivate up for my
shop window when I was in the hairdressing line； or smell quite so
elegant as our rose…oil。 Faugh！ what a figure I was！
I had nothing for it but to mount the dustman's donkey （which was
very quietly cropping grass in the hedge）； and to make my way home；
and after a weary； weary journey； I arrived at my own gate。
A whole party was assembled there。 Tagrag； who had come back；
their Excellencies Mace and Punter； who were on a visit； and a
number of horses walking up and down before the whole of the
gentlemen of the hunt； who had come in after losing their fox！
〃Here's Squire Coxe！〃 shouted the grooms。 Out rushed the servants；
out poured the gents of the hunt； and on trotted poor me； digging
into the donkey； and everybody dying with laughter at me。
Just as I got up to the door； a horse came galloping up； and passed
me； a man jumped down； and taking off a fantail hat； came up； very
gravely； to help me down。
〃Squire；〃 says he； 〃how came you by that there hanimal？ Jist git
down； will you； and give it to its howner？〃
〃Rascal！〃 says I； 〃didn't you ride off on my horse？〃
〃Was there ever sich ingratitude？〃 says the Spicy。 〃I found this
year 'oss in a pond； I saves him from drowning； I brings him back
to his master； and he calls me a rascal！〃
The grooms； the gents； the ladies in the balcony； my own servants；
all set up a roar at this； and so would I； only I was so deucedly
ashamed； as not to be able to laugh just then。
And so my first day's hunting ended。 Tagrag and the rest declared
I showed great pluck； and wanted me to try again； but 〃No；〃 says I；
〃I HAVE been。〃
THE FINISHING TOUCH。
I was always fond of billiards： and； in former days； at Grogram's
in Greek Street； where a few jolly lads of my acquaintance used to
meet twice a week for a game； and a snug pipe and beer； I was
generally voted the first man of the club； and could take five from
John the marker himself。 I had a genius； in fact； for the game；
and now that I was placed in that station of life where I could
cultivate my talents； I gave them full play； and improved amazingly。
I do say that I think myself as good a hand as any chap in England。
The Count and his Excellency Baron von Punter were； I can tell you；
astonished by the smartness of my play： the first two or three
rubbers Punter beat me； but when I came to know his game； I used to
knock him all to sticks； or； at least； win six games to his four：
and such was the betting upon me； his Excellency losing large sums
to the Count； who knew what play was； and used to back me。 I did
not play except for shillings； so my skill was of no great service
to me。
One day I entered the billiard…room where these three gentlemen
were high in words。 〃The thing shall not be done；〃 I heard Captain
Tagrag say： 〃I won't stand it。〃
〃Vat； begause you would have de bird all to yourzelf； hey？〃 said
the Baron。
〃You sall not have a single fezare of him； begar；〃 said the Count：
〃ve vill blow you； M。 de Taguerague； parole d'honneur； ve vill。〃
〃What's all this； gents；〃 says I； stepping in； 〃about birds and
feathers？〃
〃Oh；〃 says Tagrag； 〃we were talking aboutaboutpigeon…shooting；
the Count here says he will blow a bird all to pieces at twenty
yards； and I said I wouldn't stand it； because it was regular
murder。〃
〃Oh； yase； it was bidgeon…shooting；〃 cries the Baron： 〃and I know
no better sbort。 Have you been bidgeon…shooting； my dear Squire？
De fon is gabidal。〃
〃No doubt；〃 says I； 〃for the shooters； but mighty bad sport for the
PIGEON。〃 And this joke set them all a…laughing ready to die。 I
didn't know then what a good joke it WAS； neither； but I gave
Master Baron； that day； a precious good beating； and walked off
with no less than fifteen shillings of his money。
As a sporting man； and a man of fashion； I need not say that I took
in the Flare…up regularly； ay； and wrote one or two trifles in that
celebrated publication （one of my papers； which Tagrag subscribed
for me； Philo…pestitiaeamicus； on the proper sauce for teal and
widgeonand