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it；） after the account of the charges for board； masters； extras；
&c。〃Every young nobleman （or gentleman） is expected to bring a
knife； fork； spoon； and goblet of silver （to prevent breakage）；
which will not be returned； a dressing…gown and slippers； toilet…
box； pomatum； curling…irons； &c。 &c。 The pupil must on NO ACCOUNT
be allowed to have more than ten guineas of pocket…money； unless
his parents particularly desire it； or he be above fifteen years of
age。 WINE will be an extra charge； as are warm； vapor； and douche
baths。 CARRIAGE EXERCISE will be provided at the rate of fifteen
guineas per quarter。 It is EARNESTLY REQUESTED that no young
nobleman （or gentleman） be allowed to smoke。 In a place devoted to
THE CULTIVATION OF POLITE LITERATURE； such an ignoble enjoyment
were profane。
〃CLEMENT CODDLER； M。 A。；
〃Chaplain and late tutor to his Grace the Duke of Buckminster。
〃MOUNT PARNASSUS； RICHMOND； SURREY。〃
To this establishment our Tug was sent。 〃Recollect； my dear；〃 said
his mamma； 〃that you are a Tuggeridge by birth； and that I expect
you to beat all the boys in the school； especially that Wellington
MacTurk； who； though he is a lord's son； is nothing to you； who are
the heir of Tuggeridgeville。〃
Tug was a smart young fellow enough； and could cut and curl as
well as any young chap of his age： he was not a bad hand at a wig
either； and could shave； too； very prettily； but that was in the
old time； when we were not great people： when he came to be a
gentleman； he had to learn Latin and Greek； and had a deal of lost
time to make up for； on going to school。
However； we had no fear； for the Reverend Mr。 Coddler used to send
monthly accounts of his pupil's progress； and if Tug was not a
wonder of the world； I don't know who was。 It was
General behavior excellent。
English very good。
French tres bien。
Latin optime。
And so on：he possessed all the virtues； and wrote to us every
month for money。 My dear Jemmy and I determined to go and see him；
after he had been at school a quarter； we went； and were shown by
Mr。 Coddler； one of the meekest； smilingest little men I ever saw；
into the bedrooms and eating…rooms （the dromitaries and refractories
he called them）； which were all as comfortable as comfortable might
be。 〃It is a holiday； today；〃 said Mr。 Coddler； and a holiday it
seemed to be。 In the dining…room were half a dozen young gentlemen
playing at cards （〃All tip…top nobility；〃 observed Mr。 Coddler）；in
the bedrooms there was only one gent： he was lying on his bed；
reading novels and smoking cigars。 〃Extraordinary genius！〃 whispered
Coddler。 〃Honorable Tom Fitz…Warter； cousin of Lord Byron's；
smokes all day； and has written the SWEETEST poems you can imagine。
Genius； my dear madam； you knowgenius must have its way。〃 〃Well；
UPON my word；〃 says Jemmy； 〃if that's genius； I had rather that
Master Tuggeridge Coxe Tuggeridge remained a dull fellow。〃
〃Impossible； my dear madam；〃 said Coddler。 〃Mr。 Tuggeridge Coxe
COULDN'T be stupid if he TRIED。〃
Just then up comes Lord Claude Lollypop； third son of the Marquis
of Allycompane。 We were introduced instantly： 〃Lord Claude
Lollypop； Mr。 and Mrs。 Coxe。〃 The little lord wagged his head； my
wife bowed very low； and so did Mr。 Coddler； who； as he saw my lord
making for the playground； begged him to show us the way。〃Come
along；〃 says my lord； and as he walked before us； whistling； we had
leisure to remark the beautiful holes in his jacket； and elsewhere。
About twenty young noblemen （and gentlemen） were gathered round a
pastry…cook's shop at the end of the green。 〃That's the grub…
shop；〃 said my lord； 〃where we young gentlemen wot has money buys
our wittles； and them young gentlemen wot has none； goes tick。〃
Then we passed a poor red…haired usher sitting on a bench alone。
〃That's Mr。 Hicks； the Husher； ma'am；〃 says my lord。 〃We keep him；
for he's very useful to throw stones at； and he keeps the chaps'
coats when there's a fight； or a game at cricket。Well； Hicks；
how's your mother？ what's the row now？〃 〃I believe； my lord；〃 said
the usher； very meekly； 〃there is a pugilistic encounter somewhere
on the premisesthe Honorable Mr。 Mac〃
〃Oh！ COME along；〃 said Lord Lollypop； 〃come along： this way； ma'am！
Go it； ye cripples！〃 And my lord pulled my dear Jemmy's gown in
the kindest and most familiar way； she trotting on after him；
mightily pleased to be so taken notice of； and I after her。 A
little boy went running across the green。 〃Who is it； Petitoes？〃
screams my lord。 〃Turk and the barber；〃 pipes Petitoes； and runs
to the pastry…cook's like mad。 〃Turk and the ba；〃 laughs out my
lord； looking at us。 〃HURRA！ THIS way； ma'am！〃 And turning round
a corner； he opened a door into a court…yard； where a number of
boys were collected； and a great noise of shrill voices might be
heard。 〃Go it； Turk！〃 says one。 〃Go it； barber！〃 says another。
〃PUNCH HITH LIFE OUT！〃 roars another； whose voice was just cracked；
and his clothes half a yard too short for him！
Fancy our horror when； on the crowd making way； we saw Tug
pummelling away at the Honorable Master MacTurk！ My dear Jemmy；
who don't understand such things； pounced upon the two at once；
and； with one hand tearing away Tug； sent him spinning back into
the arms of his seconds； while； with the other； she clawed hold of
Master MacTurk's red hair； and； as soon as she got her second hand
free； banged it about his face and ears like a good one。
〃You nastywickedquarrelsomearistocratic〃 （each word was a
bang）〃aristocraticoh！ oh！ oh！〃Here the words stopped； for what
with the agitation； maternal solicitude； and a dreadful kick on the
shins which； I am ashamed to say； Master MacTurk administered； my
dear Jemmy could bear it no longer； and sunk fainting away in my
arms。
DOWN AT BEULAH。
Although there was a regular cut between the next…door people and
us； yet Tug and the Honorable Master MacTurk kept up their
acquaintance over the back…garden wall； and in the stables； where
they were fighting； making friends； and playing tricks from morning
to night； during the holidays。 Indeed； it was from young Mac that
we first heard of Madame de Flicflac； of whom my Jemmy robbed Lady
Kilblazes； as I before have related。 When our friend the Baron
first saw Madame； a very tender greeting passed between them； for
they had； as it appeared； been old friends abroad。 〃Sapristie；〃
said the Baron； in his lingo； 〃que fais…tu ici； Amenaide？〃 〃Et
toi； mon pauvre Chicot；〃 says she； 〃est…ce qu'on t'a mis a la
retraite？ Il parait que tu n'es plus General chez Franco〃
CHUT！〃 says the Baron； putting his finger to his lips。
〃What are they saying； my dear？〃 says my wife to Jemimarann； who
had a pretty knowledge of the language by this time。
〃I don't know what 'Sapristie' means； mamma； but the Baron asked
Madame what she was doing here？ and Madame said； 'And you； Chicot；
you are no more a General at Franco。'Have I not translated
rightly； Madame？〃
〃Oui； mon chou； mon ange。 Yase； my angel； my cabbage； quite right。
Figure yourself； I have known my dear Chicot dis twenty years。〃
〃Chicot is my name of baptism；〃 says the Baron； 〃Baron Chicot de
Punter is my name。〃
〃And being a General at Franco；〃 says Jemmy； 〃means； I suppose；
being a French General？〃
〃Yes； I vas；〃 said he； 〃General Baron de Puntern'est 'a pas；
Amenaide？〃
〃Oh； yes！〃 said Madame Flicflac； and laughed； and I and Jemmy
laughed out of politeness： and a pretty laughing matter it was； as
you shall hear。
About this time my Jemmy became one of the Lady…Patronesses of that
admirable institution； 〃The Washerwoman's…Orphans' Home；〃 Lady de
Sudley was the great projector of it； and the manager and chaplain；
the excellent and Reverend Sidney Slopper。 His salary； as
chaplain； and that of Doctor Leitch； the physician （both cousins of
her ladyship's）； drew away five hundred pounds from the six
subscribed to the Charity： and Lady de Sudley thought a fete at
Beulah Spa； with the aid of some of the foreign princes who were in
town last year； might bring a little more money into its treasury。
A tender appeal was accordingly drawn up； and published in all the
papers：
〃APPEAL。
〃BRITISH WASHERWOMAN'S…ORPHANS' HOME。
〃The 'Washerwoman's…Orphans' Home' has now been established seven
years： and the good which it has effected is； it may be confidently
stated； INCALCULABLE。 Ninety…eight orphan children of Washerwomen
have been lodged within its walls。 One hundred and two British
Washerwomen have been relieved when in the last state of decay。
ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY…EIGHT THOUSAND articles of male and female
dress have been washed； mended； buttoned； ironed； and mangled in
the Establishment。 And； by an arrangement with the governors o