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feet。 Dear Jemimarann was in white； her hair braided with pearls。
Madame de Flicflac appeared as Queen Elizabeth； and Lady Blanche
Bluenose as a Turkish princess。 An alderman of London and his
lady； two magistrates of the county； and the very pink of Croydon；
several Polish noblemen； two Italian counts （besides our Count）；
one hundred and ten young officers； from Addiscombe College； in
full uniform； commanded by Major…General Sir Miles Mulligatawney；
K。C。B。； and his lady； the Misses Pimminy's Finishing Establishment；
and fourteen young ladies； all in white： the Reverend Doctor
Wapshot； and forty…nine young gentlemen； of the first families；
under his chargewere SOME only of the company。 I leave you to
fancy that； if my Jemmy did seek for fashion； she had enough of it
on this occasion。 They wanted me to have mounted again； but my
hunting…day had been sufficient； besides； I ain't big enough
for a real knight： so； as Mrs。 Coxe insisted on my opening the
Tournamentand I knew it was in vain to resistthe Baron and
Tagrag had undertaken to arrange so that I might come off with
safety； if I came off at all。 They had procured from the Strand
Theatre a famous stud of hobby…horses； which they told me had been
trained for the use of the great Lord Bateman。 I did not know
exactly what they were till they arrived； but as they had belonged
to a lord； I thought it was all right； and consented； and I found
it the best sort of riding； after all； to appear to be on horseback
and walk safely a…foot at the same time； and it was impossible to
come down as long as I kept on my own legs： besides； I could cuff
and pull my steed about as much as I liked； without fear of his
biting or kicking in return。 As Lord of the Tournament； they
placed in my hands a lance； ornamented spirally； in blue and gold：
I thought of the pole over my old shop door； and almost wished
myself there again； as I capered up to the battle in my helmet and
breastplate； with all the trumpets blowing and drums beating at the
time。 Captain Tagrag was my opponent； and preciously we poked each
other； till； prancing about； I put my foot on my horse's petticoat
behind； and down I came； getting a thrust from the Captain； at the
same time； that almost broke my shoulder…bone。 〃This was
sufficient；〃 they said； 〃for the laws of chivalry；〃 and I was glad
to get off so。
After that the gentlemen riders； of whom there were no less than
seven； in complete armor； and the professionals； now ran at the
ring； and the Baron was far； far the most skilful。
〃How sweetly the dear Baron rides；〃 said my wife； who was always
ogling at him； smirking； smiling； and waving her handkerchief to
him。 〃I say； Sam；〃 says a professional to one of his friends； as；
after their course； they came cantering up； and ranged under
Jemmy's bower； as she called it：〃I say； Sam； I'm blowed if that
chap in harmer mustn't have been one of hus。〃 And this only made
Jemmy the more pleased； for the fact is； the Baron had chosen the
best way of winning Jemimarann by courting her mother。
The Baron was declared conqueror at the ring； and Jemmy awarded him
the prize； a wreath of white roses； which she placed on his lance；
he receiving it gracefully； and bowing； until the plumes of his
helmet mingled with the mane of his charger； which backed to the
other end of the lists； then galloping back to the place where
Jemimarann was seated； he begged her to place it on his helmet。
The poor girl blushed very much； and did so。 As all the people
were applauding； Tagrag rushed up； and； laying his hand on the
Baron's shoulder； whispered something in his ear； which made the
other very angry； I suppose； for he shook him off violently。
〃Chacun pour soi；〃 says he； 〃Monsieur de Taguerague；〃which means；
I am told； 〃Every man for himself。〃 And then he rode away；
throwing his lance in the air； catching it； and making his horse
caper and prance； to the admiration of all beholders。
After this came the 〃Passage of Arms。〃 Tagrag and the Baron ran
courses against the other champions； ay； and unhorsed two apiece；
whereupon the other three refused to turn out； and preciously we
laughed at them； to be sure！
〃Now； it's OUR turn； Mr。 CHICOT；〃 says Tagrag； shaking his fist at
the Baron： 〃look to yourself； you infernal mountebank； for； by
Jupiter； I'll do my best！〃 And before Jemmy and the rest of us；
who were quite bewildered； could say a word； these two friends were
charging away； spears in hand； ready to kill each other。 In vain
Jemmy screamed； in vain I threw down my truncheon： they had broken
two poles before I could say 〃Jack Robinson；〃 and were driving at
each other with the two new ones。 The Baron had the worst of the
first course； for he had almost been carried out of his saddle。
〃Hark you； Chicot！〃 screamed out Tagrag； 〃next time look to your
head！〃 And next time； sure enough； each aimed at the head of the
other。
Tagrag's spear hit the right place； for it carried off the Baron's
helmet； plume； rose…wreath and all； but his Excellency hit truer
stillhis lance took Tagrag on the neck； and sent him to the
ground like a stone。
〃He's won！ he's won！〃 says Jemmy； waving her handkerchief；
Jemimarann fainted； Lady Blanche screamed； and I felt so sick that
I thought I should drop。 All the company were in an uproar： only
the Baron looked calm； and bowed very gracefully； and kissed his
hand to Jemmy； when； all of a sudden； a Jewish…looking man
springing over the barrier； and followed by three more； rushed
towards the Baron。 〃Keep the gate； Bob！〃 he holloas out。 〃Baron；
I arrest you； at the suit of Samuel Levison； for〃
But he never said for what； shouting out； 〃Aha！〃 and 〃Sapprrrristie！〃
and I don't know what； his Excellency drew his sword； dug his spurs
into his horse； and was over the poor bailiff； and off before
another word。 He had threatened to run through one of the bailiff's
followers； Mr。 Stubbs； only that gentleman made way for him； and
when we took up the bailiff； and brought him round by the aid of a
little brandy…and…water； he told us all。 〃I had a writ againsht
him； Mishter Coxsh； but I didn't vant to shpoil shport； and；
beshidesh； I didn't know him until dey knocked off his shteel cap！〃
。 。 。 。 。 。
Here was a pretty business！
OVER…BOARDED AND UNDER…LODGED。
We had no great reason to brag of our tournament at Tuggeridgeville：
but； after all； it was better than the turn…out at Kilblazes； where
poor Lord Heydownderry went about in a black velvet dressing…gown；
and the Emperor Napoleon Bonypart appeared in a suit of armor and
silk stockings； like Mr。 Pell's friend in Pickwick； we； having
employed the gentlemen from Astley's Antitheatre； had some decent
sport for our money。
We never heard a word from the Baron； who had so distinguished
himself by his horsemanship； and had knocked down （and very justly）
Mr。 Nabb； the bailiff； and Mr。 Stubbs； his man； who came to lay
hands upon him。 My sweet Jemmy seemed to be very low in spirits
after his departure； and a sad thing it is to see her in low
spirits： on days of illness she no more minds giving Jemimarann a
box on the ear； or sending a plate of muffins across a table at
poor me； than she does taking her tea。
Jemmy； I say； was very low in spirits； but； one day （I remember it
was the day after Captain Higgins called； and said he had seen the
Baron at Boulogne）； she vowed that nothing but change of air would
do her good； and declared that she should die unless she went to
the seaside in France。 I knew what this meant； and that I might as
well attempt to resist her as to resist her Gracious Majesty in
Parliament assembled； so I told the people to pack up the things；
and took four places on board the 〃Grand Turk〃 steamer for Boulogne。
The travelling…carriage； which； with Jemmy's thirty…seven boxes and
my carpet…bag； was pretty well loaded； was sent on board the night
before； and we； after breakfasting in Portland Place （little did I
think it was thebut； poh！ never mind）； went down to the Custom
House in the other carriage； followed by a hackney…coach and a cab；
with the servants； and fourteen bandboxes and trunks more； which
were to be wanted by my dear girl in the journey。
The road down Cheapside and Thames Street need not be described： we
saw the Monument； a memento of the wicked Popish massacre of St。
Bartholomew；why erected here I can't think； as St。 Bartholomew is
in Smithfield；we had a glimpse of Billingsgate； and of the
Mansion House； where we saw the two…and…twenty…shilling…coal smoke
coming out of the chimneys； and were landed at the Custom House in
safety。 I felt melancholy； for we were going among a people of
swindlers； as all Frenchmen are thought to be； and； besides not
being able to speak the language； leaving our own dear country and
honest countrymen。
Fourteen port