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After supper a woman got in； who lived about fifty miles further on； and
we three had to take turns at sitting outside with the driver and
conductor。 Apparently she was not a talkative woman。 She would sit
there in the gathering twilight and fasten her steadfast eyes on a
mosquito rooting into her arm； and slowly she would raise her other hand
till she had got his range； and then she would launch a slap at him that
would have jolted a cow； and after that she would sit and contemplate the
corpse with tranquil satisfactionfor she never missed her mosquito； she
was a dead shot at short range。 She never removed a carcase； but left
them there for bait。 I sat by this grim Sphynx and watched her kill
thirty or forty mosquitoeswatched her； and waited for her to say
something； but she never did。 So I finally opened the conversation
myself。 I said：
〃The mosquitoes are pretty bad； about here； madam。〃
〃You bet！〃
〃What did I understand you to say； madam？〃
〃You BET！〃
Then she cheered up； and faced around and said：
〃Danged if I didn't begin to think you fellers was deef and dumb。 I did；
b'gosh。 Here I've sot； and sot； and sot； a…bust'n muskeeters and
wonderin' what was ailin' ye。 Fust I thot you was deef and dumb； then I
thot you was sick or crazy； or suthin'； and then by and by I begin to
reckon you was a passel of sickly fools that couldn't think of nothing to
say。 Wher'd ye come from？〃
The Sphynx was a Sphynx no more！ The fountains of her great deep were
broken up； and she rained the nine parts of speech forty days and forty
nights； metaphorically speaking； and buried us under a desolating deluge
of trivial gossip that left not a crag or pinnacle of rejoinder
projecting above the tossing waste of dislocated grammar and decomposed
pronunciation！
How we suffered； suffered； suffered！ She went on； hour after hour； till
I was sorry I ever opened the mosquito question and gave her a start。
She never did stop again until she got to her journey's end toward
daylight； and then she stirred us up as she was leaving the stage （for we
were nodding； by that time）； and said：
〃Now you git out at Cottonwood； you fellers； and lay over a couple o'
days； and I'll be along some time to…night； and if I can do ye any good
by edgin' in a word now and then； I'm right thar。 Folks'll tell you't
I've always ben kind o' offish and partic'lar for a gal that's raised in
the woods； and I am ； with the rag…tag and bob…tail； and a gal has to be；
if she wants to be anything； but when people comes along which is my
equals； I reckon I'm a pretty sociable heifer after all。〃
We resolved not to 〃lay by at Cottonwood。〃
CHAPTER III。
About an hour and a half before daylight we were bowling along smoothly
over the roadso smoothly that our cradle only rocked in a gentle；
lulling way； that was gradually soothing us to sleep； and dulling our
consciousnesswhen something gave away under us！ We were dimly aware of
it； but indifferent to it。 The coach stopped。 We heard the driver and
conductor talking together outside； and rummaging for a lantern； and
swearing because they could not find itbut we had no interest in
whatever had happened； and it only added to our comfort to think of those
people out there at work in the murky night； and we snug in our nest with
the curtains drawn。 But presently； by the sounds； there seemed to be an
examination going on； and then the driver's voice said：
〃By George； the thoroughbrace is broke！〃
This startled me broad awakeas an undefined sense of calamity is always
apt to do。 I said to myself： 〃Now； a thoroughbrace is probably part of a
horse； and doubtless a vital part； too； from the dismay in the driver's
voice。 Leg； maybeand yet how could he break his leg waltzing along
such a road as this？ No； it can't be his leg。 That is impossible；
unless he was reaching for the driver。 Now； what can be the
thoroughbrace of a horse； I wonder？ Well； whatever comes； I shall not
air my ignorance in this crowd； anyway。〃
Just then the conductor's face appeared at a lifted curtain； and his
lantern glared in on us and our wall of mail matter。 He said：
〃Gents； you'll have to turn out a spell。 Thoroughbrace is broke。〃
We climbed out into a chill drizzle； and felt ever so homeless and
dreary。 When I found that the thing they called a 〃thoroughbrace〃 was
the massive combination of belts and springs which the coach rocks itself
in； I said to the driver：
〃I never saw a thoroughbrace used up like that； before； that I can
remember。 How did it happen？〃
〃Why； it happened by trying to make one coach carry three days' mail
that's how it happened；〃 said he。 〃And right here is the very direction
which is wrote on all the newspaper…bags which was to be put out for the
Injuns for to keep 'em quiet。 It's most uncommon lucky； becuz it's so
nation dark I should 'a' gone by unbeknowns if that air thoroughbrace
hadn't broke。〃
I knew that he was in labor with another of those winks of his； though I
could not see his face； because he was bent down at work； and wishing him
a safe delivery； I turned to and helped the rest get out the mail…sacks。
It made a great pyramid by the roadside when it was all out。 When they
had mended the thoroughbrace we filled the two boots again； but put no
mail on top； and only half as much inside as there was before。 The
conductor bent all the seat…backs down； and then filled the coach just
half full of mail…bags from end to end。 We objected loudly to this； for
it left us no seats。 But the conductor was wiser than we； and said a bed
was better than seats； and moreover； this plan would protect his
thoroughbraces。 We never wanted any seats after that。 The lazy bed was
infinitely preferable。 I had many an exciting day； subsequently； lying
on it reading the statutes and the dictionary； and wondering how the
characters would turn out。
The conductor said he would send back a guard from the next station to
take charge of the abandoned mail…bags； and we drove on。
It was now just dawn； and as we stretched our cramped legs full length on
the mail sacks； and gazed out through the windows across the wide wastes
of greensward clad in cool； powdery mist； to where there was an expectant
look in the eastern horizon； our perfect enjoyment took the form of a
tranquil and contented ecstasy。 The stage whirled along at a spanking
gait； the breeze flapping curtains and suspended coats in a most
exhilarating way； the cradle swayed and swung luxuriously； the pattering
of the horses' hoofs； the cracking of the driver's whip； and his 〃Hi…yi！
g'lang！〃 were music； the spinning ground and the waltzing trees appeared
to give us a mute hurrah as we went by； and then slack up and look after
us with interest； or envy； or something； and as we lay and smoked the
pipe of peace and compared all this luxury with the years of tiresome
city life that had gone before it； we felt that there was only one
complete and satisfying happiness in the world； and we had found it。
After breakfast； at some station whose name I have forgotten； we three
climbed up on the seat behind the driver； and let the conductor have our
bed for a nap。 And by and by； when the sun made me drowsy； I lay down on
my face on top of the coach； grasping the slender iron railing； and slept
for an hour or more。 That will give one an appreciable idea of those
matchless roads。 Instinct will make a sleeping man grip a fast hold of
the railing when the stage jolts； but when it only swings and sways； no
grip is necessary。 Overland drivers and conductors used to sit in their
places and sleep thirty or forty minutes at a time； on good roads； while
spinning along at the rate of eight or ten miles an hour。 I saw them do
it； often。 There was no danger about it； a sleeping man will seize the
irons in time when the coach jolts。 These men were hard worked； and it
was not possible for them to stay awake all the time。
By and by we passed through Marysville； and over the Big Blue and Little
Sandy； thence about a mile； and entered Nebraska。 About a mile further
on； we came to the Big Sandyone hundred and eighty miles from St。
Joseph。
As the sun was going down； we saw the first specimen of an animal known
familiarly over two thousand miles of mountain and desertfrom Kansas
clear to the Pacific Oceanas the 〃jackass rabbit。〃 He is well named。
He is just like any other rabbit； except that he is from one third to
twice as large； has longer legs in proportion to his size； and has the
most preposterous ears that ever were mounted on any creature but a
jackass。
When he is sitting quiet； thinking about his sins； or is absent…minded or
unapprehensive of danger； his majestic ears project above him
conspicuously； but the breaking of a twig will scare him nearly to death；
and then he tilts his ears back gently and starts for home。 All you can
see； then； for the next minute； is his long gray form stretched out
straight and 〃streaking it〃 through the low sage…brush； head erect； eyes
right； and ears just canted a little to the rear； but showing you where
the animal is； all the time； the same as if he carried a jib。 Now and
then he makes a marvelous