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harried cats and outlawed dogs that knew him confidently took sanctuary
under his chair in time of trouble。 In the beginning he was the most
frantic and bloodthirsty Union man that drew breath in the shadow of the
Flag； but the instant the Southerners began to go down before the sweep
of the Northern armies； he ran up the Confederate colors and from that
time till the end was a rampant and inexorable secessionist。
He hated intemperance with a more uncompromising animosity than any
individual I have ever met； of either sex； and he was never tired of
storming against it and beseeching friends and strangers alike to be wary
and drink with moderation。 And yet if any creature had been guileless
enough to intimate that his absorbing nine gallons of 〃straight〃 whiskey
during our voyage was any fraction short of rigid or inflexible
abstemiousness； in that self…same moment the old man would have spun him
to the uttermost parts of the earth in the whirlwind of his wrath。 Mind；
I am not saying his whisky ever affected his head or his legs； for it did
not； in even the slightest degree。 He was a capacious container； but he
did not hold enough for that。 He took a level tumblerful of whisky every
morning before he put his clothes on〃to sweeten his bilgewater；〃 he
said。He took another after he got the most of his clothes on； 〃to
settle his mind and give him his bearings。〃 He then shaved； and put on a
clean shirt； after which he recited the Lord's Prayer in a fervent；
thundering bass that shook the ship to her kelson and suspended all
conversation in the main cabin。 Then； at this stage； being invariably
〃by the head；〃 or 〃by the stern；〃 or 〃listed to port or starboard；〃 he
took one more to 〃put him on an even keel so that he would mind his
hellum and not miss stays and go about； every time he came up in the
wind。〃And now； his state…room door swung open and the sun of his
benignant face beamed redly out upon men and women and children； and he
roared his 〃Shipmets a'hoy！〃 in a way that was calculated to wake the
dead and precipitate the final resurrection； and forth he strode； a
picture to look at and a presence to enforce attention。 Stalwart and
portly； not a gray hair； broadbrimmed slouch hat； semi…sailor toggery of
blue navy flannelroomy and ample； a stately expanse of shirt…front and
a liberal amount of black silk neck…cloth tied with a sailor knot； large
chain and imposing seals impending from his fob； awe…inspiring feet； and
〃a hand like the hand of Providence；〃 as his whaling brethren expressed
it； wrist…bands and sleeves pushed back half way to the elbow； out of
respect for the warm weather； and exposing hairy arms； gaudy with red and
blue anchors； ships； and goddesses of liberty tattooed in India ink。
But these details were only secondary mattershis face was the lodestone
that chained the eye。 It was a sultry disk； glowing determinedly out
through a weather beaten mask of mahogany； and studded with warts； seamed
with scars； 〃blazed〃 all over with unfailing fresh slips of the razor；
and with cheery eyes； under shaggy brows； contemplating the world from
over the back of a gnarled crag of a nose that loomed vast and lonely out
of the undulating immensity that spread away from its foundations。
At his heels frisked the darling of his bachelor estate； his terrier
〃Fan；〃 a creature no larger than a squirrel。 The main part of his daily
life was occupied in looking after 〃Fan；〃 in a motherly way； and
doctoring her for a hundred ailments which existed only in his
imagination。
The Admiral seldom read newspapers； and when he did he never believed
anything they said。 He read nothing； and believed in nothing； but 〃The
Old Guard；〃 a secession periodical published in New York。 He carried a
dozen copies of it with him； always； and referred to them for all
required information。 If it was not there； he supplied it himself； out
of a bountiful fancy； inventing history； names； dates； and every thing
else necessary to make his point good in an argument。 Consequently he
was a formidable antagonist in a dispute。 Whenever he swung clear of the
record and began to create history； the enemy was helpless and had to
surrender。 Indeed； the enemy could not keep from betraying some little
spark of indignation at his manufactured historyand when it came to
indignation； that was the Admiral's very 〃best hold。〃 He was always
ready for a political argument； and if nobody started one he would do it
himself。 With his third retort his temper would begin to rise； and
within five minutes he would be blowing a gale； and within fifteen his
smoking…room audience would be utterly stormed away and the old man left
solitary and alone； banging the table with his fist； kicking the chairs；
and roaring a hurricane of profanity。 It got so； after a while； that
whenever the Admiral approached； with politics in his eye； the passengers
would drop out with quiet accord； afraid to meet him； and he would camp
on a deserted field。
But he found his match at last； and before a full company。 At one time
or another； everybody had entered the lists against him and been routed；
except the quiet passenger Williams。 He had never been able to get an
expression of opinion out of him on politics。 But now； just as the
Admiral drew near the door and the company were about to slip out；
Williams said：
〃Admiral； are you certain about that circumstance concerning the
clergymen you mentioned the other day？〃referring to a piece of the
Admiral's manufactured history。
Every one was amazed at the man's rashness。 The idea of deliberately
inviting annihilation was a thing incomprehensible。 The retreat came to
a halt； then everybody sat down again wondering； to await the upshot of
it。 The Admiral himself was as surprised as any one。 He paused in the
door； with his red handkerchief half raised to his sweating face； and
contemplated the daring reptile in the corner。
〃Certain of it？ Am I certain of it？ Do you think I've been lying about
it？ What do you take me for？ Anybody that don't know that circumstance；
don't know anything； a child ought to know it。 Read up your history！
Read it up…； and don't come asking a man if he's certain about a bit
of ABC stuff that the very southern niggers know all about。〃
Here the Admiral's fires began to wax hot； the atmosphere thickened； the
coming earthquake rumbled； he began to thunder and lighten。 Within three
minutes his volcano was in full irruption and he was discharging flames
and ashes of indignation； belching black volumes of foul history aloft；
and vomiting red…hot torrents of profanity from his crater。 Meantime
Williams sat silent； and apparently deeply and earnestly interested in
what the old man was saying。 By and by； when the lull came； he said in
the most deferential way； and with the gratified air of a man who has had
a mystery cleared up which had been puzzling him uncomfortably：
〃Now I understand it。 I always thought I knew that piece of history well
enough； but was still afraid to trust it； because there was not that
convincing particularity about it that one likes to have in history； but
when you mentioned every name； the other day； and every date； and every
little circumstance； in their just order and sequence； I said to myself；
this sounds something likethis is historythis is putting it in a
shape that gives a man confidence； and I said to myself afterward； I will
just ask the Admiral if he is perfectly certain about the details； and if
he is I will come out and thank him for clearing this matter up for me。
And that is what I want to do nowfor until you set that matter right it
was nothing but just a confusion in my mind； without head or tail to it。〃
Nobody ever saw the Admiral look so mollified before； and so pleased。
Nobody had ever received his bogus history as gospel before； its
genuineness had always been called in question either by words or looks；
but here was a man that not only swallowed it all down； but was grateful
for the dose。 He was taken a back； he hardly knew what to say； even his
profanity failed him。 Now； Williams continued； modestly and earnestly：
〃But Admiral； in saying that this was the first stone thrown； and that
this precipitated the war； you have overlooked a circumstance which you
are perfectly familiar with； but which has escaped your memory。 Now I
grant you that what you have stated is correct in every detailto wit：
that on the 16th of October； 1860； two Massachusetts clergymen； named
Waite and Granger； went in disguise to the house of John Moody； in
Rockport； at dead of night； and dragged forth two southern women and
their two little children； and after tarring and feathering them conveyed
them to Boston and burned them alive in the State House square； and I
also grant your proposition that this deed is what led to the secession
of South Carolina on the 20th of December following。 Very well。〃 ＇Here
the company were pleasantly surprised to hear Williams proceed to come
back at the Admiral with his own invincible weaponclean； pure；
manufactured history； without a word of truth in it。＇ 〃Very well； I say。
But Admiral； why overlook the Willis and Morgan case in South C