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tea was such a worrying work； and Harris and I looked tired。 The only
reply we made to this； however； was to pass him over the tow…line； and he
took it； and stepped out。
There is something very strange and unaccountable about a tow…line。 You
roll it up with as much patience and care as you would take to fold up a
new pair of trousers； and five minutes afterwards； when you pick it up；
it is one ghastly； soul…revolting tangle。
I do not wish to be insulting； but I firmly believe that if you took an
average tow…line； and stretched it out straight across the middle of a
field； and then turned your back on it for thirty seconds； that； when you
looked round again； you would find that it had got itself altogether in a
heap in the middle of the field； and had twisted itself up； and tied
itself into knots； and lost its two ends； and become all loops； and it
would take you a good half…hour； sitting down there on the grass and
swearing all the while； to disentangle it again。
That is my opinion of tow…lines in general。 Of course； there may be
honourable exceptions； I do not say that there are not。 There may be
tow…lines that are a credit to their profession … conscientious；
respectable tow…lines … tow…lines that do not imagine they are crochet…
work； and try to knit themselves up into antimacassars the instant they
are left to themselves。 I say there MAY be such tow…lines； I sincerely
hope there are。 But I have not met with them。
This tow…line I had taken in myself just before we had got to the lock。
I would not let Harris touch it； because he is careless。 I had looped it
round slowly and cautiously； and tied it up in the middle； and folded it
in two； and laid it down gently at the bottom of the boat。 Harris had
lifted it up scientifically； and had put it into George's hand。 George
had taken it firmly； and held it away from him； and had begun to unravel
it as if he were taking the swaddling clothes off a new…born infant； and；
before he had unwound a dozen yards； the thing was more like a badly…made
door…mat than anything else。
It is always the same； and the same sort of thing always goes on in
connection with it。 The man on the bank； who is trying to disentangle
it； thinks all the fault lies with the man who rolled it up； and when a
man up the river thinks a thing； he says it。
〃What have you been trying to do with it； make a fishing…net of it？
You've made a nice mess you have； why couldn't you wind it up properly；
you silly dummy？〃 he grunts from time to time as he struggles wildly with
it； and lays it out flat on the tow…path； and runs round and round it；
trying to find the end。
On the other hand； the man who wound it up thinks the whole cause of the
muddle rests with the man who is trying to unwind it。
〃It was all right when you took it！〃 he exclaims indignantly。 〃Why don't
you think what you are doing？ You go about things in such a slap…dash
style。 You'd get a scaffolding pole entangled you would！〃
And they feel so angry with one another that they would like to hang each
other with the thing。
Ten minutes go by； and the first man gives a yell and goes mad； and
dances on the rope； and tries to pull it straight by seizing hold of the
first piece that comes to his hand and hauling at it。 Of course； this
only gets it into a tighter tangle than ever。 Then the second man climbs
out of the boat and comes to help him； and they get in each other's way；
and hinder one another。 They both get hold of the same bit of line； and
pull at it in opposite directions； and wonder where it is caught。 In the
end； they do get it clear； and then turn round and find that the boat has
drifted off； and is making straight for the weir。
This really happened once to my own knowledge。 It was up by Boveney； one
rather windy morning。 We were pulling down stream； and； as we came round
the bend； we noticed a couple of men on the bank。 They were looking at
each other with as bewildered and helplessly miserable expression as I
have ever witnessed on any human countenance before or since； and they
held a long tow…line between them。 It was clear that something had
happened； so we eased up and asked them what was the matter。
〃Why； our boat's gone off！〃 they replied in an indignant tone。 〃We just
got out to disentangle the tow…line； and when we looked round； it was
gone！〃
And they seemed hurt at what they evidently regarded as a mean and
ungrateful act on the part of the boat。
We found the truant for them half a mile further down； held by some
rushes； and we brought it back to them。 I bet they did not give that
boat another chance for a week。
I shall never forget the picture of those two men walking up and down the
bank with a tow…line； looking for their boat。
One sees a good many funny incidents up the river in connection with
towing。 One of the most common is the sight of a couple of towers；
walking briskly along； deep in an animated discussion； while the man in
the boat； a hundred yards behind them； is vainly shrieking to them to
stop； and making frantic signs of distress with a scull。 Something has
gone wrong； the rudder has come off； or the boat…hook has slipped
overboard； or his hat has dropped into the water and is floating rapidly
down stream。
He calls to them to stop； quite gently and politely at first。
〃Hi！ stop a minute； will you？〃 he shouts cheerily。 〃I've dropped my hat
over…board。〃
Then： 〃Hi！ Tom … Dick！ can't you hear？〃 not quite so affably this time。
Then： 〃Hi！ Confound YOU； you dunder…headed idiots！ Hi！ stop！ Oh you …
！〃
After that he springs up； and dances about； and roars himself red in the
face； and curses everything he knows。 And the small boys on the bank
stop and jeer at him； and pitch stones at him as he is pulled along past
them； at the rate of four miles an hour； and can't get out。
Much of this sort of trouble would be saved if those who are towing would
keep remembering that they are towing； and give a pretty frequent look
round to see how their man is getting on。 It is best to let one person
tow。 When two are doing it； they get chattering； and forget； and the
boat itself； offering； as it does； but little resistance； is of no real
service in reminding them of the fact。
As an example of how utterly oblivious a pair of towers can be to their
work； George told us； later on in the evening； when we were discussing
the subject after supper； of a very curious instance。
He and three other men； so he said； were sculling a very heavily laden
boat up from Maidenhead one evening； and a little above Cookham lock they
noticed a fellow and a girl； walking along the towpath； both deep in an
apparently interesting and absorbing conversation。 They were carrying a
boat…hook between them； and； attached to the boat…hook was a tow…line；
which trailed behind them； its end in the water。 No boat was near； no
boat was in sight。 There must have been a boat attached to that tow…line
at some time or other； that was certain； but what had become of it； what
ghastly fate had overtaken it； and those who had been left in it； was
buried in mystery。 Whatever the accident may have been； however； it had
in no way disturbed the young lady and gentleman； who were towing。 They
had the boat…hook and they had the line； and that seemed to be all that
they thought necessary to their work。
George was about to call out and wake them up； but； at that moment； a
bright idea flashed across him； and he didn't。 He got the hitcher
instead； and reached over； and drew in the end of the tow…line； and they
made a loop in it； and put it over their mast； and then they tidied up
the sculls； and went and sat down in the stern； and lit their pipes。
And that young man and young woman towed those four hulking chaps and a
heavy boat up to Marlow。
George said he never saw so much thoughtful sadness concentrated into one
glance before； as when； at the lock； that young couple grasped the idea
that； for the last two miles； they had been towing the wrong boat。
George fancied that； if it had not been for the restraining influence of
the sweet woman at his side； the young man might have given way to
violent language。
The maiden was the first to recover from her surprise； and； when she did；
she clasped her hands； and said； wildly：
〃Oh； Henry； then WHERE is auntie？〃
〃Did they ever recover the old lady？〃 asked Harris。
George replied he did not know。
Another example of the dangerous want of sympathy between tower and towed
was witnessed by George and myself once up near Walton。 It was where the
tow…path shelves gently down into the water； and we were camping on the
opposite bank； noticing things in general。 By…and…by a small boat came
in sight； towed through the water at