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three men in a boat-第28章

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quote the quaint phraseology of those dim days; 〃from the times of King 

Sebert and King Offa。〃  Just past the weir (going up) is Danes' Field; 

where the invading Danes once encamped; during their march to 

Gloucestershire; and a little further still; nestling by a sweet corner 

of the stream; is what is left of Medmenham Abbey。



The famous Medmenham monks; or 〃Hell Fire Club;〃 as they were commonly 

called; and of whom the notorious Wilkes was a member; were a fraternity 

whose motto was 〃Do as you please;〃 and that invitation still stands over 

the ruined doorway of the abbey。  Many years before this bogus abbey; 

with its congregation of irreverent jesters; was founded; there stood 

upon this same spot a monastery of a sterner kind; whose monks were of a 

somewhat different type to the revellers that were to follow them; five 

hundred years afterwards。



The Cistercian monks; whose abbey stood there in the thirteenth century; 

wore no clothes but rough tunics and cowls; and ate no flesh; nor fish; 

nor eggs。  They lay upon straw; and they rose at midnight to mass。  They 

spent the day in labour; reading; and prayer; and over all their lives 

there fell a silence as of death; for no one spoke。



A grim fraternity; passing grim lives in that sweet spot; that God had 

made so bright!  Strange that Nature's voices all around them … the soft 

singing of the waters; the whisperings of the river grass; the music of 

the rushing wind … should not have taught them a truer meaning of life 

than this。  They listened there; through the long days; in silence; 

waiting for a voice from heaven; and all day long and through the solemn 

night it spoke to them in myriad tones; and they heard it not。



From Medmenham to sweet Hambledon Lock the river is full of peaceful 

beauty; but; after it passes Greenlands; the rather uninteresting looking 

river residence of my newsagent … a quiet unassuming old gentleman; who 

may often be met with about these regions; during the summer months; 

sculling himself along in easy vigorous style; or chatting genially to 

some old lock…keeper; as he passes through … until well the other side of 

Henley; it is somewhat bare and dull。



We got up tolerably early on the Monday morning at Marlow; and went for a 

bathe before breakfast; and; coming back; Montmorency made an awful ass 

of himself。  The only subject on which Montmorency and I have any serious 

difference of opinion is cats。  I like cats; Montmorency does not。



When I meet a cat; I say; 〃Poor Pussy!〃 and stop down and tickle the side 

of its head; and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid; cast…iron manner; 

arches its back; and wipes its nose up against my trousers; and all is 

gentleness and peace。  When Montmorency meets a cat; the whole street 

knows about it; and there is enough bad language wasted in ten seconds to 

last an ordinarily respectable man all his life; with care。



I do not blame the dog (contenting myself; as a rule; with merely 

clouting his head or throwing stones at him); because I take it that it 

is his nature。  Fox…terriers are born with about four times as much 

original sin in them as other dogs are; and it will take years and years 

of patient effort on the part of us Christians to bring about any 

appreciable reformation in the rowdiness of the fox…terrier nature。



I remember being in the lobby of the Haymarket Stores one day; and all 

round about me were dogs; waiting for the return of their owners; who 

were shopping inside。  There were a mastiff; and one or two collies; and 

a St。 Bernard; a few retrievers and Newfoundlands; a boar…hound; a French 

poodle; with plenty of hair round its head; but mangy about the middle; a 

bull…dog; a few Lowther Arcade sort of animals; about the size of rats; 

and a couple of Yorkshire tykes。



There they sat; patient; good; and thoughtful。  A solemn peacefulness 

seemed to reign in that lobby。  An air of calmness and resignation … of 

gentle sadness pervaded the room。



Then a sweet young lady entered; leading a meek…looking little fox…

terrier; and left him; chained up there; between the bull…dog and the 

poodle。  He sat and looked about him for a minute。  Then he cast up his 

eyes to the ceiling; and seemed; judging from his expression; to be 

thinking of his mother。  Then he yawned。  Then he looked round at the 

other dogs; all silent; grave; and dignified。



He looked at the bull…dog; sleeping dreamlessly on his right。  He looked 

at the poodle; erect and haughty; on his left。  Then; without a word of 

warning; without the shadow of a provocation; he bit that poodle's near 

fore…leg; and a yelp of agony rang through the quiet shades of that 

lobby。



The result of his first experiment seemed highly satisfactory to him; and 

he determined to go on and make things lively all round。  He sprang over 

the poodle and vigorously attacked a collie; and the collie woke up; and 

immediately commenced a fierce and noisy contest with the poodle。  Then 

Foxey came back to his own place; and caught the bull…dog by the ear; and 

tried to throw him away; and the bull…dog; a curiously impartial animal; 

went for everything he could reach; including the hall…porter; which gave 

that dear little terrier the opportunity to enjoy an uninterrupted fight 

of his own with an equally willing Yorkshire tyke。



Anyone who knows canine nature need hardly; be told that; by this time; 

all the other dogs in the place were fighting as if their hearths and 

homes depended on the fray。  The big dogs fought each other 

indiscriminately; and the little dogs fought among themselves; and filled 

up their spare time by biting the legs of the big dogs。



The whole lobby was a perfect pandemonium; and the din was terrific。  A 

crowd assembled outside in the Haymarket; and asked if it was a vestry 

meeting; or; if not; who was being murdered; and why?  Men came with 

poles and ropes; and tried to separate the dogs; and the police were sent 

for。



And in the midst of the riot that sweet young lady returned; and snatched 

up that sweet little dog of hers (he had laid the tyke up for a month; 

and had on the expression; now; of a new…born lamb) into her arms; and 

kissed him; and asked him if he was killed; and what those great nasty 

brutes of dogs had been doing to him; and he nestled up against her; and 

gazed up into her face with a look that seemed to say: 〃Oh; I'm so glad 

you've come to take me away from this disgraceful scene!〃



She said that the people at the Stores had no right to allow great savage 

things like those other dogs to be put with respectable people's dogs; 

and that she had a great mind to summon somebody。



Such is the nature of fox…terriers; and; therefore; I do not blame 

Montmorency for his tendency to row with cats; but he wished he had not 

given way to it that morning。



We were; as I have said; returning from a dip; and half…way up the High 

Street a cat darted out from one of the houses in front of us; and began 

to trot across the road。  Montmorency gave a cry of joy … the cry of a 

stern warrior who sees his enemy given over to his hands … the sort of 

cry Cromwell might have uttered when the Scots came down the hill … and 

flew after his prey。



His victim was a large black Tom。  I never saw a larger cat; nor a more 

disreputable…looking cat。  It had lost half its tail; one of its ears; 

and a fairly appreciable proportion of its nose。  It was a long; sinewy…

looking animal。  It had a calm; contented air about it。



Montmorency went for that poor cat at the rate of twenty miles an hour; 

but the cat did not hurry up … did not seem to have grasped the idea that 

its life was in danger。  It trotted quietly on until its would…be 

assassin was within a yard of it; and then it turned round and sat down 

in the middle of the road; and looked at Montmorency with a gentle; 

inquiring expression; that said:



〃Yes!  You want me?〃



Montmorency does not lack pluck; but there was something about the look 

of that cat that might have chilled the heart of the boldest dog。  He 

stopped abruptly; and looked back at Tom。



Neither spoke; but the conversation that one could imagine was clearly as 

follows:…



THE CAT: 〃Can I do anything for you?〃



MONTMORENCY: 〃No … no; thanks。〃



THE CAT: 〃Don't you mind speaking; if you really want anything; you 

know。〃



MONTMORENCY (BACKING DOWN THE HIGH STREET): 〃Oh; no … not at all … 

certainly … don't you trouble。  I … I am afraid I've made a mistake。  I 

thought I knew you。  Sorry I disturbed you。〃



THE CAT: 〃Not at all … quite a pleasure。  Sure you don't want anything; 

now?〃



MONTMORENCY (STILL BACKING): 〃Not at all; thanks … not at all … very kind 

of you。  Good morning。〃



THE CAT: 〃Good…morning。〃



Then the cat rose; and continued his trot; and Montmorency; fitting what 

he calls his tail carefully 
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