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＇It should be explained that Tom Bridges was a gyp at St。 John's
College； during Butler's residence at Cambridge。＇
We now come to the most eventful period in Mr。 Bridges' life： we
mean the time when he was elected to the shoe…black scholarship；
compared with which all his previous honours sank into
insignificance。
Mr。 Bridges had long been desirous of becoming a candidate for this
distinction； but； until the death of Mr。 Leader； no vacancy having
occurred among the scholars； he had as yet had no opportunity of
going in for it。 The income to be derived from it was not
inconsiderable； and as it led to the porter fellowship the mere
pecuniary value was not to be despised； but thirst of fame and the
desire of a more public position were the chief inducements to a man
of Mr。 Bridges' temperament； in which ambition and patriotism formed
so prominent a part。 Latin； however； was not Mr。 Bridges' forte； he
excelled rather in the higher branches of arithmetic and the
abstruse sciences。 His attainments； however； in the dead languages
were beyond those of most of his contemporaries； as the letter he
sent to the Master and Seniors will abundantly prove。 It was
chiefly owing to the great reverence for genius shown by Dr。 Tatham
that these letters have been preserved to us； as that excellent man；
considering that no circumstance connected with Mr。 Bridges'
celebrity could be justly consigned to oblivion； rescued these
valuable relics from the Bedmaker； as she was on the point of using
them to light the fire。 By him they were presented to the author of
this memoir； who now for the first time lays them before the public。
The first was to the Master himself； and ran as follows：…
Reverende Sir；
Possum bene blackere shoas； et locus shoe…blackissis vacuus est。
Makee me shoeblackum si hoc tibi placeat； precor te； quia desidero
hoc locum。
Your very humble servant；
THOMASUS BRIDGESSUS。
We subjoin Mr。 Bridges' autograph。 The reader will be astonished to
perceive its resemblance to that of Napoleon I； with whom he was
very intimate； and with anecdotes of whom he used very frequently to
amuse his masters。 We add that of Napoleon。
THOMAS BRIDGES
NAPOLEON
The second letter was to the Senior Bursar； who had often before
proved himself a friend to Mr Bridges； and did not fail him in this
instance。
BURSARE SENIOR；
Ego humiliter begs pardonum te becausus quaereri dignitatum
shoeblacki and credo me getturum esse hoc locum。
Your humble servant；
THOMASUS BRIDGESSUS。
Shortly afterwards Mr。 Bridges was called upon； with six other
competitors； to attend in the Combination Room； and the following
papers were submitted to him。
I
1。 Derive the word 〃blacking。〃 What does Paley say on this
subject？ Do you； or do you not； approve of Paley's arguments； and
why？ Do you think that Paley knew anything at all about it？
2。 Who were Day and Martin？ Give a short sketch of their lives；
and state their reasons for advertising their blacking on the
Pyramids。 Do you approve of the advertising system in general？
3。 Do you consider the Japanese the original inventors of blacking？
State the principal ingredients of blacking； and give a chemical
analysis of the following substances： Sulphate of zinc； nitrate of
silver； potassium； copperas and corrosive sublimate。
4。 Is blacking an effective remedy against hydrophobia？ Against
cholera？ Against lock…jaw？ And do you consider it as valuable an
instrument as burnt corks in playing tricks upon a drunken man？
This was the Master's paper。 The Mathematical Lecturer next gave
him a few questions； of which the most important were：…
II
1。 Prove that the shoe may be represented by an equation of the
fifth degree。 Find the equation to a man blacking a shoe： （1） in
rectangular co…ordinates； （2） in polar co…ordinates。
2。 A had 500 shoes to black every day； but being unwell for two
days he had to hire a substitute； and paid him a third of the wages
per shoe which he himself received。 Had A been ill two days longer
there would have been the devil to pay； as it was he actually paid
the sum of the geometrical series found by taking the first n
letters of the substitute's name。 How much did A pay the
substitute？ （Answer； 13s。 6d。）
3。 Prove that the scraping…knife should never be a secant； and the
brush always a tangent to a shoe。
4。 Can you distinguish between meum and tuum？ Prove that their
values vary inversely as the propinquity of the owners。
5。 How often should a shoe…black ask his master for beer notes？
Interpret a negative result。
AN EMINENT PERSON
Among the eminent persons deceased during the past week we have to
notice Mr。 Arthur Ward； the author of the very elegant treatise on
the penny whistle。 Mr。 Ward was rather above the middle height；
inclined to be stout； and had lost a considerable portion of his
hair。 Mr。 Ward did not wear spectacles； as asserted by a careless
and misinformed contemporary。 Mr。 Ward was a man of great humour
and talent； many of his sayings will be treasured up as household
words among his acquaintance； for instance； 〃Lor！〃 〃Oh； ah！〃 〃Sech
is life。〃 〃That's cheerful。〃 〃He's a lively man is Mr。 。 。 。 〃
His manners were affable and agreeable； and his playful gambols
exhibited an agility scarcely to be expected from a man of his
stature。 On Thursday last Mr。 Ward was dining off beef…steak pie
when a bit of gristle； unfortunately causing him to cough； brought
on a fit of apoplexy； the progress of which no medical assistance
was able to arrest。 It is understood that the funeral arrangements
have been entrusted to our very respectable fellow…townsman Mr。
Smith； and will take place on Monday。
NAPOLEON AT ST。 HELENA
I see a warrior 'neath a willow tree；
His arms are folded； and his full fixed eye
Is gazing on the sky。 The evening breeze
Blows on him from the sea； and a great storm
Is rising。 Not the storm nor evening breeze；
Nor the dark sea； nor the sun's parting beam
Can move him； for in yonder sky he sees
The picture of his life； in yonder clouds
That rush towards each other he beholds
The mighty wars that he himself hath waged。
Blow on him； mighty storm； beat on him； rain；
You cannot move his folded arms nor turn
His gaze one second from the troubled sky。
Hark to the thunder！ To him it is not thunder；
It is the noise of battles and the din
Of cannons on the field of Austerlitz；
The sky to him is the whole world disturbed
By war and rumours of great wars。
He tumbled like a thunderbolt from heaven
Upon the startled earth； and as he came
The round world leapt from out her usual course
And thought her time was come。 Beat on him； rain；
And roar about him； O thou voice of thunder。
But what are ye to him？ O more to him
Than all besides。 To him ye are himself；
He knows it and your voice is lovely to him。
Hath brought the warfare to a close。
The storm is over； one terrific crash
Now； now he feels it； and he turns away；
His arms are now unfolded； and his hands
Pressed to his face conceal a warrior's tears。
He flings himself upon the springing grass；
And weeps in agony。 See； again he rises；
His brow is calm； and all his tears are gone。
The vision now is ended； and he saith：
〃Thou storm art hushed for ever。 Not again
Shall thy great voice be heard。 Unto thy rest
Thou goest； never never to return。
I thank thee； that for one brief hour alone
Thou hast my bitter agonies assuaged；
Another storm may scare the frightened heavens；
And like to me may rise and fill
The elements with terror。 I； alas！
Am blotted out as though I had not been；
And am become as though I was not born。
My day is over； and my night is come …
A night which brings no rest； nor quiet dreams；
Nor calm reflections； nor repose from toil；
But pain and sorrow； anguish never ceasing；
With dark uncertainty； despair and pain；
And death's wide gate before me。 Fare ye well！
The sky is clear and the world at rest；
Thou storm and I have but too much in common。〃
THE TWO DEANS
I
Williams； I like thee； amiable divine！
No milk…and…water character is thine。
A lay more lovely should thy worth attend
Than my poor muse； alas！ hath power to lend。
Shall I describe thee as thou late didst sit；
The gater gated and the biter bit；
When impious hands at the dead hour of night
Forbade the way and made the barriers tight？
Next morn I heard their impious voices sing；
All up the stairs their blasphemies did ring：
〃Come forth； O Williams； wherefore thus supine
Remain within thy chambers after nine？
Come forth； suffer thyself to be admired；
And blush not so； coy dean； to be desired。〃
The captive churchman chafes with empty rage；
Till some knight…errant free him from his cage。
Pale fear and anger sit upon yon face
Erst full of love and piety and grace；
But not pale fear nor anger will undo
The iron might of gimlet and of screw。
Grin at the window； Williams； all is vain；
The carpenter will come and let thee out again。
Contrast with him the countenance serene
And sweet remonstrance of the junior dean；
The plural number and the accents mild；
The language of a parent to a child。
With pla